In the last episode, the Proxy team asked me to mediate what they called a "cage match" between introverts and extroverts — and wow, did it spark conversation!
Now, in this bonus episode (offered to Proxy subscribers and YOU, my newsletter subscribers we take it a step further. I share what changes I've made to get along better with the introverts in my life and answer listener questions from the live chat.

Support "Emotional Journalism"
If you enjoy Proxy, please consider subscribing and supporting Yowei Shaw's incredible work in "emotional journalism."
Her storytelling brings humanity, humor, and heart to every episode — and this one is no exception.

What happens when introverts and extroverts form deep friendships?
In the newest episode of Proxy with award-winning host Yowei Shaw, I was the surprise guest joining a vibrant (and emotional!) discussion about what drives us crazy about each other — and what we secretly envy.

Together with Ryan Letts (they/them) and Aparna Nancherla, we explored the humor and heart that surface when opposites attract. By the end, there were more than a few tears as we uncovered how these relationships help us grow and understand ourselves better.

Yowei's thoughtful preparation and masterful editing reminded me why storytelling matters. She took a wide-ranging conversation and wove it into something meaningful.

1. Exploring Our Grievances
It started by naming what gets under our skin — from introverts needing space to extroverts craving engagement. The honesty and laughter in this exchange set the tone for everything that followed.

2. Why Introverts Ghost
Ever wonder why an introverted friend might disappear for a while? The discussion unpacked the myth of "ghosting" and reframed it as necessary solitude — a time to recharge, not reject.

3️⃣ When Extrovert Energy Is Too Much (or Just Right)
Sometimes an extrovert's enthusiasm can feel like a tidal wave. But when that energy is grounded in empathy, it becomes a bridge, not a barrier.

4️⃣ Introvert ↔ Extrovert Pet Peeves
We laughed about the quirks that drive each other crazy — the talker who fills every silence, the quiet friend who never picks up the phone — and recognized the small adjustments that make these friendships thrive. We had fun playing a buzzer game to spot our pet peeves.

5️⃣ Finding Validation in Friendships
Our conversation turned tender as we reflected on how friendship with our opposites can validate who we truly are. The episode closes on that emotional note — a reminder that we all need both to share what we truly appreciate about each other.

If you enjoy Proxy, please consider subscribing and supporting Yowei Shaw's incredible work in "emotional journalism."
Her storytelling brings humanity, humor, and heart to every episode — and this one is no exception.

Listen here: [Insert episode link]
Donate or subscribe: https://www.patreon.com/cw/ProxyPodcast
Explore her newsletter: https://www.patreon.com/posts/extrovert-and-140824660 — it's awesome and filled with useful insights!

In the season finale of Introvert Ally, Jennifer Kahnweiler welcomes back her favorite recurring guest—and husband—Dr. Bill Kahnweiler, to reflect on the standout themes from an especially rich and extended third season. With 14 insightful episodes featuring a wide array of introverted leaders and allies, Jennifer and Bill deeply dive into the key takeaways and personal reflections that emerged.

Bill, the self-proclaimed "resident introvert," listened to each episode and distilled five thoughtful themes that surfaced across conversations:

🔹 Push Outside Your Comfort Zone – Many guests shared how growth often required introverts to intentionally step out of their preferred solitude to be seen, heard, and valued at work.

🔹 Extroverts Have Needs Too – A call for mutual understanding: just as introverts need space and quiet, extroverts thrive on interaction and energy. Valuing differences means recognizing and respecting both.

🔹 Communicate Needs Clearly – Introverts can't assume their extroverted bosses or colleagues know what they need. Whether it's more time to process or space to reflect, saying it aloud matters.

🔹 Beware Negative Self-Talk – Many introverts internalize messages that something's "wrong" with them. Guests like Jennifer FitzPatrick and Carrie Wheeler reminded us to embrace introversion as a strength, not a flaw.

🔹 Break the Stereotypes – From introverts excelling in sales and networking (thanks, Andy Lopata!) to scientists being just as likely to be extroverted as not (Dr. Gwen Acton), guests consistently shattered outdated myths.

The episode is filled with warmth, candid stories, humor, and thoughtful moments—plus a few laughs about life and partnership in a household of one introvert and one extrovert.

Tune in for an engaging wrap-up to an inspiring season. And stay tuned—this may be the finale, but it's certainly not the end of the conversation.

Resource:

Shaping Your HR Role by William M. Kahnweiler, Ph.D. and Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D. Routledge,Taylor and Francis 2005 Dr. Bill Kahnweiler has accumulated more career pivots than the number of coffee mugs serious collectors possess. From high school peer counseling director to teaching in prisons, Fortune 10 HR exec to global consultant, and finally professor of human resource development at Georgia State University. His research focused on participative leadership, innovative career development, and helping organizations and people thrive at work. He taught everyone from undergrads to Ph.D. students about "the human aspects of work organizations"—aka why people are weird, annoying, and baffling at work and what we can do about it. His body of work includes over 90 articles and the book, "Shaping Your HR Role," co-authored with Jennifer B. Kahnweiler. Bill figured out early that the best teachers are curious students. He admits he probably learned more than his students did. His proudest achievement? Being crowned "Funniest Professor Ever" by the hundreds who "endured" his classes. He also discovered higher education's rarely acknowledged truth: it exists primarily to employ the otherwise unemployable—a category in which he cheerfully includes himself.

This week's episode features Jennifer’s dear friend and colleague, Tricia Molloy. With over 2,000 testimonials written, Tricia has developed a proven framework for creating resonant messages. She breaks down her signature approach—focusing on problem-solving, specific examples, and emotional connection—and offers listeners practical tips for both asking for and writing effective recommendations. Her advice applies to LinkedIn and preparing for your next career move.

Often challenged with self-promotion, introverts will significantly benefit from listening to Tricia’s advice.

She also examines the importance of maintaining workplace relationships throughout one's career, not just when one needs something, and how the diversity of voices in one's recommendations can tell a richer story about one's impact.

Tricia emphasizes asking for testimonials from people of different backgrounds, generations, and industries, aligning with the evolving needs of your career journey. Tricia also shares how testimonials can be repurposed to support transitions, such as career changes or promotions.

Beyond the professional, Jennifer and Tricia explore the deeply personal. Tricia shares her intentional approach to work-life balance, choosing to design her business around her life as a grandmother. She stresses the importance of self-care, delight, and asking for what you need—whether it’s help from a colleague or recognition for your contributions. Their conversation is a reminder that wisdom in work isn’t just about productivity—it’s about joy, connection, and purpose.

🔑 Topics Covered:

• Tricia’s career journey and evolution from media to entrepreneurship
  
  

• The power of testimonials in building credibility and career momentum
  
  

• How to craft and request recommendations that resonate
  
  

• Relationship-building in and beyond the workplace
  
  

• Aligning testimonials with future goals and job opportunities
  
  

• Work-life balance and designing your work around your life
  
  

• Emotional resilience and the value of support systems
  
  

📘 Featured Resource:

• Working with Wisdom by Tricia Molloy

• Tricia’s website

Testimonial website

💬 Memorable Quote:

“A great testimonial tells a story—it solves a problem, gives an example, and makes you feel something.” — Tricia Molloy

✨ Stay Connected:

• Follow Tricia Molloy on LinkedIn

Tricia Molloy is a storyteller at heart. She refined her interview skills as a freelance journalist by writing business profiles and articles for newspapers and magazines. In 1988, Tricia started her full-service marketing agency for small businesses. When she realized that her clients needed help crafting their reviews, she eventually chose to exclusively write compelling client testimonials that open doors and close deals. She’s since written more than two thousand testimonials.

Tricia’s clients include executives, job seekers, interior designers, business coaches and consultants, website developers, lawyers, and real estate professionals—anyone who wants to set themselves apart through the words of those they’ve helped.

In this thoughtful and energizing episode of Introvert Ally, Jennifer Kahnweiler sits down with longtime friend and leadership consultant Gayle Lantz, founder of WorkMatters, Inc. Gayle has spent decades working with leaders from organizations of all sizes—from startups to giants like NASA and Microsoft—helping them navigate change, lead with intention, and cultivate clarity.

While Gayle has long avoided labels, she now embraces her introverted qualities and shares how they've become foundational to her consulting and coaching approach. Listening deeply, taking time to reflect, and staying present with her clients have become her superpowers—especially in a fast-paced world that often prioritizes quick answers over meaningful insight.

Jennifer and Gayle explore how introversion can be a powerful force in leadership, especially when paired with thoughtful facilitation and a willingness to keep evolving. They also delve into how Gayle balances the roles of coach and consultant, offering not just space for clients to think—but also the benefit of her own hard-earned wisdom and experience.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How Gayle's introverted strengths—like reflection, presence, and deep listening—help her clients find clarity and confidence
  
  

• The subtle but powerful difference between coaching and consulting—and how Gayle blends the best of both
  
  

• Practical strategies for creating inclusive group dynamics that engage quieter voices
  
  

• Why Gayle believes sharing your own struggles and stories can make you a more effective ally and advisor
  
  

• How experimentation and reinvention keep her work meaningful and fresh
  
  

• Why her award-winning podcast CEO on the Go has remained such a vital part of her business—and personal development
  
  

Gayle also shares smart techniques she uses in group settings to make space for introverted participants, including pre-seeding questions, allowing time to write before sharing, and normalizing the idea that not everything has to be perfectly polished before it's voiced. These small shifts, she says, create environments where everyone feels seen and valued.

On the power of presence:

"Listening isn't just waiting to talk. It's reflecting, clarifying, and showing someone that you're truly with them in the moment. That's where trust and insight begin."

On the value of reinvention:

"You have to let go of some things to make room for what's next. When something no longer energizes you, it's okay to close the loop and try something new."

Fun fact: When she's not helping leaders reimagine their organizations, Gayle is lifting barbells, walking on her hands, and even reconnecting with her love for piano. Her commitment to staying curious, active, and joyful is all part of her personal and professional philosophy.

Connect with Gayle Lantz:
🌐 WorkMatters.com
🔗 LinkedIn
🎧 CEO on the Go Podcast

About Gayle Lantz:
Gayle Lantz is the Founder and CEO of WorkMatters, Inc., a leadership consultant, author, and host of the CEO on the Go podcast—ranked in the top 5% of podcasts globally. She works with CEOs and senior executives to drive meaningful change through strategic planning, visioning, and leadership development. Her clients range from major organizations like NASA, Microsoft, and Protective Life to small and mid-sized firms.

With over two decades of experience, Gayle is known for helping leaders think differently, challenge the status quo, and create lasting impact. She is the author of Take the Bull by the Horns and creator of The Leadership Journal. Gayle is also a Certified Reinvention Practitioner and long-time facilitator of CEO peer groups.

In this episode of Introvert Ally, Jennifer Kahnweiler speaks with Gwen, a scientist and leadership innovator who shares her transformation from a shy high schooler to earning a PhD in Biology at MIT. Gwen discusses introverts' unique strengths in technical fields and how leadership plays a critical role in successful science and technology teams.
Gwen emphasizes that while introverts may feel more comfortable with technical discussions, leadership requires stretching into more emotional and interpersonal territory. She introduces an AI-powered conversation tool designed to help managers improve their leadership and communication skills through realistic simulations and feedback.
Key Themes and Highlights
🔬 Introverts in STEM
Gwen reflects on her early introversion and how she gradually built confidence by asking questions.

She notes that many scientists and engineers thrive in technical conversations but may feel drained by emotional or non-technical interactions.

📢 Why Leadership Matters in Tech
Gwen and Jennifer discuss the critical role of communication and collaboration in science and technology innovation.

Gwen cites research showing that their direct manager shapes 70% of an employee's experience.

🤖 AI Tools for Leadership Development
Gwen introduces an AI-driven tool that allows leaders to simulate real-time employee conversations.

The tool gives feedback on both the content and tone of responses, helping leaders grow in confidence and effectiveness—ideal for introverts who value preparation.

🌱 The Future of Leadership Training
Gwen sees great potential in AI tools that provide safe practice spaces for leaders, similar to how athletes train before a game.

She highlights how these tools support both introverts and extroverts in honing critical soft skills.

This episode reminds us that great leadership isn't about being the loudest voice in the room—it's about listening, practicing, and continuously learning. Gwen's story reinforces how introverted strengths like deep thinking and careful communication can be amplified through tools like AI. Her perspective encourages organizations to support quieter leaders by giving them the resources and space to grow into their full leadership potential.

Gwen Acton, PhD, is an expert at the intersection of science and business. She is CEO of Vivo Group, where she helps life science and tech companies boost innovation and productivity through strategic leadership development. Dr. Acton earned her PhD in biology from M.I.T., where she trained in a Nobel Prize-winning lab, and later taught at Harvard University. She authoredThe Bluffer's Guide to Genetics and has written extensively for outlets like NPR, the Associated Press, and Technology Review. Her latest book is Leadership for Scientists and Engineers: Transforming Brilliant Technical Experts Into Great Managers (2025), a practical guide for technical professionals stepping into leadership roles. She also wrote The Bluffer's Guide to Genetics and has contributed to outlets like NPR, the Associated Press, and Technology Review. A Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), Dr. Acton is a sought-after speaker known for making complex science accessible and actionable.

Resources
Check out Gwen's new book! Leadership for Scientists and Engineers

Reach her on LinkedIn

This week's guest is Jennifer L. Fitzpatrick, CSP, who discusses the importance of recognizing and accommodating introverts in healthcare settings. Her company works with healthcare and senior living organizations to improve patient and family caregiver experiences, recruitment, and retention

Take Breaks and Be Flexible

• The impact of burnout, particularly post-COVID, and the necessity for healthcare leaders to provide breaks to retain employees.

• Some in hospitals mention resorting to going to their cars or chapels for privacy, highlighting the lack of suitable break spaces in healthcare settings.

• Examples of positive changes include allowing mental health days and communicating clear role expectations.

• Healthcare leaders need to permit breaks to prevent burnout and improve overall performance.

• The importance of flexible work schedules and other accommodations to improve employee satisfaction and retention.

Patients and Providers are Teams

• The importance of patient advocacy suggests that patients complete reviews and politely request accommodations to enhance their healthcare experiences.

• Healthcare must be more open to disruption and change, emphasizing that treating employees well leads to better patient care and fewer complaints.

• Encourage patients to think of themselves as part of a team with their healthcare providers, working together for the best possible outcomes.

• Don't make assumptions about people's introversion or extroversion; ask directly to understand their needs.

About the Guest:

Jennifer L. FitzPatrick, MSW, LCSW-C, CSP, is a respected speaker, consultant, and author with deep expertise in caregiving, aging, and healthcare education. She is the founder of Jenerations Health Education, Inc., and one of fewer than 800 professionals worldwide to hold the Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designation. A former gerontology instructor at Johns Hopkins University, Jennifer brings a unique blend of academic rigor and real-world experience to her work.

She is the author of two impactful books—Reimagining Customer Service in Healthcare and Cruising Through Caregiving: Reducing the Stress of Caring for Your Loved One. Jennifer's insights have been featured on ABC, CBS, SiriusXM, and in major outlets like Forbes, U.S. News & World Report, Redbook, and Fast Company.

In addition to speaking and writing, she serves on several prominent boards, including Seth and Lauren Rogen's nonprofit Hilarity for Charity (HFC), Salisbury University's School of Health & Human Services, and Lifespan's Beacon Institute.

In this week's episode, Jennifer Kahnweiler speaks with renowned business relationships strategist Andy Lopata about the intersection of networking, mentoring, and introversion. Together, they explore how introverts can harness their natural strengths—like listening and thoughtful reflection—to build powerful professional relationships.

Andy shares his journey into business networking, which began with a family business and evolved into a global platform for relationship-building and mentoring. Drawing from his newest book, The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring, co-authored with Ruth Gotian, Andy offers insights on developing strategic mentoring relationships and how introverts can thrive in these settings.

The episode also touches on the role of authenticity in social media, the use of AI in professional development, and actionable tips for introverts looking to build meaningful networks.

• Andy's personal and professional journey in networking
  
  

• Strategic mentoring: principles and practical guidance
  
  

• The strengths introverts bring to networking and relationship-building
  
  

• Andy's 24-7-30 follow-up method for building connections
  
  

• Navigating authenticity and consistency on LinkedIn
  
  

• Using AI for productivity and communication
  
  

• Finding your voice online—without obsessing over engagement metrics
  
  

Andy's Book: The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring co-authored with Dr. Ruth Gotian

→ A practical guide for building and sustaining mentoring relationships with intention and impact.

Andy interviewing Jennifer on his podcast,

• Andy Lopata's website: https://lopata.co.uk/
  
  

• 7 Reasons Not To Accept LinkedIn Connection Requests From Strangers

Connect with Andy on LinkedIn

"Introverts often make the best networkers—not by working the room, but by listening, engaging deeply, and following up with intention." – Andy Lopata

For nearly 25 years, Andy Lopata, a self-defined Ambivert, has specialized in professional relationships and networking. The Financial Times called him 'one of Europe's leading business networking strategists,' and the Independent and Forbes.com called him a true master of networking.

A very experienced international speaker and podcast host, Andy is the author of five books, has been quoted in a number of other business books, and is regularly quoted in the international press. Andy's sixth book, 'The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring', will be published in spring 2024.

Andy is a former President of the Fellows Community, a two-time Board Member of the Professional Speaking Association UK & Ireland (PSA), and a Fellow of the Learning and Performance Institute and a Member of the Meetings Industry Association and Association of Business Mentors. He is also among just 32 recipients of the PSA's top honour, the 'Award of Excellence'.