In this episode of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered, Tori, a foster and adoptive parent, shares her powerful story of building a family through foster care and transracial adoption.

A former educator, Tori opens up about her journey to fostering and adopting three children, the emotional ups and downs of parenting through trauma, and her experience as an African American mother raising Caucasian children. She reflects on identity, belonging, and how love and community can bridge cultural differences.

This heartfelt conversation highlights the realities of transracial adoption, the importance of diversity and representation, and the need for more families to open their hearts to fostering in North Carolina.

“Whether you birth them in your womb or birth them from your heart, love makes a family.” - Tori

What You Will Learn:

• Journey into foster care and adoption
• Decision-making process for fostering and adopting
• Background and motivations of the guest as an educator and advocate
• Experiences of fostering and adopting multiple children
• Challenges of transracial adoption in a southern context
• Navigating societal perceptions and assumptions about family dynamics
• Importance of preparing children for societal interactions and questions
• Representation in literature for diverse family structures
• Emphasis on love as the foundation of family and community
• Call to action for supporting vulnerable children and becoming foster parents

For more of Tori's story, visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6nd50cQ9Xg&t=79s

Timestamps:

(00:00) Introduction
(00:27) Meet Tori
(01:28) Journey to Fostering
(03:12) First Days
(06:13) Expanding the Family
(08:01) Early Reflections
(08:46) Navigating Transracial Adoption
(10:30) Transracial Parenting
(11:26) Talking About Race
(12:35) Facing Public Perceptions
(14:40) Addressing Trauma
(17:23) Open Communication
(18:51) Confidence & Representation
(25:29) Family Traditions
(26:42) Parenting Joys
(32:59) Birth Family Connections
(35:29) Belonging & Heritage
(37:09) Hopes for the Future
(39:25) Message to Future Foster Parents
(41:51) Closing

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

12-year-old junior golfer Autumn and her adoptive father, Donnie, share their journey from foster care to adoption. Golf became a life-changing outlet for Autumn, helping her build confidence, mental resilience, and a positive outlook. With resilience, hope, and the transformative power of family and sports, they reflect on the challenges and joys of fostering, while offering encouragement to others considering adoption or foster care.

“When I was in foster care, I knew there would be better days; getting adopted was by far the best day in the world. There are kids waiting for a foster home or waiting to get adopted, and people should want to help.” – Autumn

“Don’t let your fear stop you from asking questions about foster care; that’s what led us to having the most amazing daughter in the world. There are kids like Autumn who are amazing and just need love to thrive; they were born to soar. Maybe they’re waiting for you.” – Donnie

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• The emotional journey of transitioning from foster care to adoption
• Autumn’s inspiring perspective on adoption and resilience
• How discovering golf transformed her life and confidence
• Life lessons learned from sports, competition, and perseverance
• Practical advice for prospective foster and adoptive parents
• Encouragement for youth currently in foster care
• The importance of advocacy, storytelling, and breaking stigmas in foster care

Timestamps

• 00:00:00 – Introduction and purpose of the podcast
• 00:00:27 – Meet Donnie and Autumn
• 00:00:46 – Autumn’s first day with her adoptive family
• 00:03:12 – Transition from foster care to adoption
• 00:05:04 – Autumn’s perspective on adoption
• 00:06:34 – Autumn’s joyful outlook and early life
• 00:09:24 – Choosing joy despite challenges
• 00:10:27 – Discovering golf & sports
• 00:12:34 – Becoming a top junior golfer
• 00:13:46 – Lessons learned from adoption
• 00:15:05 – Fears and hopes in fostering/adoption
• 00:17:12 – PSA: Foster care in NC
• 00:17:32 – Autumn’s charity golf tournament
• 00:19:33 – Life lessons from golf
• 00:25:11 – Staying positive through adversity
• 00:26:52 – Advice for children in foster care
• 00:28:21 – Advice for prospective foster/adoptive parents
• 00:31:56 – Raising awareness for adoption
• 00:33:02 – Sharing her story publicly
• 00:36:33 – Breaking stigmas and final thoughts
• 00:37:47 – Closing remarks

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc

In this episode of "In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered," guest Tim shares his inspiring journey as a professional in child welfare, which leads to being a single foster parent and then adoptive parent, as well as a kinship provider. Tim recounts becoming a guardian to twins, fostering to adopt an 8-year-old boy, and later fostering and adopting his niece through kinship care. He discusses the challenges, rewards, and milestones of building a family through fostering, the importance of trauma-informed parenting, and the value of community support. Tim encourages listeners to consider fostering, emphasizing the life-changing impact it can have on both children and families.

“I didn’t know what I was getting into at first; it was scary and overwhelming, but I had a supportive community. I’ve seen incredible growth in the children I cared for. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be willing. If you’ve ever wondered about fostering, take the next step. You could be the change a child is waiting for.” - Tim

What You Will Learn:

• Personal journey of becoming a foster and adoptive parent.
• Experiences and challenges faced in the child welfare system.
• The importance of stable and loving home environments for children in foster care.
• Transition from personal fostering to professional involvement in child welfare.
• Insights on kinship care and the process of fostering a family member.
• The significance of trauma-informed parenting and understanding children's behaviors.
• The role of support systems and community resources in fostering.
• Emotional milestones in the parent-child relationship during adoption.
• Strategies for managing expectations and power struggles with children.
• Encouragement for others to consider fostering or adopting and the impact it can have.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – Introduction
• 00:00:51 – Meet Tim
• 00:01:09 – Becoming a Guardian & Caseworker
• 00:02:13 – First Adoption & Kinship Care
• 00:04:01 – Common Threads in Care
• 00:06:13 – Advice for New Families
• 00:08:53 – Support Systems
• 00:11:09 – Family Dynamics
• 00:18:06 – Single Parenting
• 00:20:16 – Foster Care in NC
• 00:20:37 – Rewarding Moments
• 00:25:21 – Parenting Lessons
• 00:31:10 – Therapeutic Progress
• 00:35:37 – Myths & Relationships
• 00:40:29 – Family Is Forever
• 00:42:37 – Encouragement
• 00:43:20 – Closing

Episode Resources:

• Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/
• For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org
• To be a guest on the podcast, email: inreallifepodcast@chsnc.org
• To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/
• Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:
  • Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina
  • Instagram: @chs_nc
  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc
  • YouTube: @chsnc