"I’m looking at you—have you grown with me, Paris? Is that you allowing me to relax about not knowing what I’m going to do, or even where I’m going to live, come the new year? I’m here right now and I’m practicing my art; I’m writing and I’m acting again—I’m acting in Paris again! My daughter can hardly cope with how cool her ibu is! Well, maybe she can, but I still ‘eat’."

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"Bonjour, Paris!"

"Today I feel free. I have been walking with myself for the last few days and today I walk like someone in love. Little dances that I predicted last week have been translated into something more profound and more aligned with who I am, that is tears of joy...."

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"I'm still here, Paris...."

"Broken but intact, I imagine myself walking along the Seine, or some unknown stream, somewhere, with a full-bodied smile from my heart to my face, and perhaps a little dance here and there too. Like someone in love, like someone free, for I'll be one with clarity...."

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"It snowed, Paris. It snowed in Paris and I’m staying inside my head. I threw away my train ticket back to London last night so I get to spend another day and a half here, mostly to convince myself that Paris is still a good idea...."

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"I had a strange dream, Paris. All my dreams are strange."

"Maybe I’ll still walk in the rain alone, occasionally, for feeling misunderstood. But that’s alright – a falling star would fly back up in a hurry if anyone wished to understand me fully. It’s good to be understood by someone, albeit not fully, and it’s great to never be misunderstood by oneself."

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"You seem so far away with all the paperwork required for my long stay visa. And when there’s any delay in getting any document, you feel even further. But not forgotten – yet. I guess I’m just living in the present more these days – because when there’s still enough water in the tank to flush the toilet, I’m reminded of my existence: I can flush, thus I exist. That, and my casual meditations...."

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"I’m here, Paris; staring at a blank page with a fatigue after moving from my Wimbledon flat onto a 2-bed boat in Chelsea recently – yeah, really, what did the universe see in me?... "

"On the boat I have created a tiny corner with a desk, a red Anglepoise lamp, a few cherished books (three of them my own) and a Freewrite Traveler, where the poet feels so at home for the first time in a very long time and has typed 22 poems in Indonesian and English within three days in preparation for the republishing of my second book published 20 years ago...."

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"Bonjour, Paris!

"I’m doing everything I can to be with you. I’m doing everything I can to be with you without losing myself. In fact, I’m doing everything I can to be with myself, which I found in you, through you. You of all people know how important myself – I meant this journey – is!"

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