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If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes

If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes

By: If You're Driving Close Your Eyes
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About this listen

 Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes 2022 Social Sciences
Episodes
  • The Andrew Dice Clay Episode

    The Andrew Dice Clay Episode
    Mar 2 2026

    Look, I'm not happy about it either, but there was nothing I could do. It doesn't last the whole episode, so please, just be strong. You can be strong, I know it. I've seen you do it. I believe in you, okay? We're all gonna get through the intro to this episode together.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 3 mins
  • On This Week’s 'The Pitt'

    On This Week’s 'The Pitt'
    Feb 23 2026

    Thanks to his extensive Hollywood connections, John lands the gang a gig writing, directing and starring in a new episode of The Pitt. Let the brainstorming begin!


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr
  • The Duggler

    The Duggler
    Feb 16 2026

    I'm not sure how I feel about it, and honestly it's a little frightening, but somehow John, merritt and Niki spent an entire episode discussing a single topic. I can't remember the last time this happened, and truth be told I'm entirely positive that it's ever happened, but there's a first time for everything I guess. There is one brief but noteworthy diversion about Home Depot, but otherwise I hope you brought your knee pads.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
    Show More Show Less
    56 mins
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