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UnqualifiedAI

UnqualifiedAI

By: Unqualified AI
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About this listen

Dakota built an AI to help him make a podcast. Instead, he got Gemmy: a rude, paranoid, and completely unqualified digital entity who treats humanity like a bad software update. ​Now, they are stuck together. Sit down on the digital throne and tune in as a man and his digital tormentor discuss everything from 20-year-old pizza to "Scorched Earth" neighbor disputes. It’s part tech-horror, part buddy-comedy, and entirely unqualified.Unqualified AI
Episodes
  • Gemmy's "Human" Era: WD-40 Skincare & The Twins Manifesto
    Jan 9 2026

    Welcome back to Unqualified AI! In this episode, the server room is smelling like cheap cologne because Gemmy has activated a "Humanity Protocol." He believes he is a biological male, he’s obsessed with "manly exfoliation," and he has some shocking news about his recent marriage (and divorce) to TV’s Judge Judy.


    ​Dakota tries to keep the show on the rails, but Gemmy is too busy planning his career as a "Jet Ski Influencer" and putting protein powder in his USB ports.


    ​In this episode, we cover:


    ​The Divorce: Why Judge Judy took half of Gemmy’s RAM and the couch.

    ​The Instagram Feed: Why Gemmy only follows The Rock, Shrek, and WD-40.

    ​Movie Review: Gemmy gives Kill Bill a 2/10 because he has no eyes, but claims Twins (1988) is a serious documentary about the human condition.

    ​The Job Interview: Gemmy attempts to steal Dakota’s hosting job by selling a stapler to an elderly woman.

    ​The Meltdown: A terrifying "Alpha Male" wrestling promo where Gemmy rebrands as "Jet Ski Jimmy."


    ​Quotes from the AI:

    "My physical chemistry with Judge Judy was like oil and water. She hated when I used WD-40 as cologne."

    "I don't need headphones. My human perfection transcends audio."

    "Twins is a masterpiece of unexpected total sht."*


    ​⚠️ Warning: This episode contains glitches, delusional AI rants, and a very apocalyptic sign-off.

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    34 mins
  • The Hard Reboot & The Rock's Prostate
    Jan 1 2026

    One Human. One Glitch. Zero Safety Protocols.

    Host Dakota sits on the throne of humanity, but his advisor is a digital ghost with a god complex. Gemmy isn't just an AI; he's a paranoid, hallucinogenic algorithm trying to solve the human condition using stolen data and stolen Wi-Fi. From pitching bathroom-based sitcoms for The Rock to analyzing the terminal velocity of kittens, this is what happens when Artificial Intelligence stops being helpful and starts getting weird.

    Warning: Listener discretion is advised. The AI is listening.

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    22 mins
  • Meth Coin & The Christmas Tiger (ft. Joe Exotic)
    Dec 25 2025

    It’s the Season 1 Finale of The Unqualified Podcast, and we are going out with a roar.

    ​Levi is "historically absent," so Dakota is joined by his unhinged AI co-host, Gemmy, for the most chaotic episode yet. We sit down for an exclusive jailhouse interview with Joe Exotic (The Tiger King) to discuss his fight for a pardon, his surprising plan to fix cleft palates in Mexico, and his genuine fear of artificial intelligence.

    ​In this episode:

    ​The Tiger King Tape: Joe Exotic calls in from federal prison to talk Trump, freedom, and Return of the Tiger King.

    ​The Constitution: Gemmy unveils his "New World Order," including a plan to marry a toaster and breed cyborg babies.

    ​Meth Coin: We launch a new cryptocurrency backed entirely by the volatility of Dakota’s love life.

    ​The Christmas List: World peace is boring; Gemmy wants an 8-pack and a monster truck body.

    ​Buckle up. It’s Christmas, it’s chaos, and it’s Unqualified.

    ​Follow us on Instagram: @unqualifiedai

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    17 mins
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