Abundant Rising!!!

My name is Merci Withaneye and I am on this Divine Journey to finding my soul's voice. I wish to help others who may be going through a tough time or dealing with the harsh trials and tribulations of "LIFE." I only speak the truth and nothing but the truth. I am a poet, entrepreneur, mother, and wife and I'm sharing my life experiences in the expectancy to uplift others who can relate to my past's pain.

For most of my adult life, I have come to the conclusion that I didn't acknowledge the fact that I was carrying so much pain from the traumas from experiences with my family, past relations and friendships. The feeling of being betrayed by the ones that you love, cuts deep and even trying to forgive without being bitter is a tough challenge. So what did I do? I tucked those feelings away in the darkest place of my subconscious.

Now I am reflecting on my past, I started asking myself why I am, the way that I am? What is the source to why I have a short temper and a lack of patience with my children? Why do I start things and never finish them? Why don't I have the confidence to believe in myself or my dreams? Why do I always feel ashamed or needing to make sure I wasn't going to do anything to upset or disappoint my parents?

I grew up with both my parents but I was exposed to a lot of physical abuse from an early age. It was the speculation that my father wasn't being loyal to my mother, which started most of their fights with each other. Me being their only child together, I witnessed a lot of their quarrels. I remember feeling afraid as I would cower under my sheets in my bed at night and how many times I found myself getting in the middle so they would stop. I became the enemy in my mother's eyes for defending my father or shielding him from the non-stop blows from my mother.

As a teenager I started to resent my mother. I can remember when I would use poetry as my escape from pain and she when would discover that I was writing, she would snatch my notebook from me. She would shout out things like, I would never get anywhere with my writing. And as much as it hurt me at that time, to have her say that to me, I always kept my notebooks.

Even with me being discouraged, I still kept believing even though my efforts wasn't at 100% I would venture out and try things like medical assistant training, beauty school, and even my own natural skin care product line, and I would just give up and pretend like I never tried in the first place. I would find any reason to back away from the idea that I could succeed.

But now... I'm learning how to hug that troubled child in me. I'm ready to pour out all of my self doubts and really believe in my heart, soul and spirit that I can do anything I put my mind to. If you've made it this far, thank you for tuning into my frequency. If you can relate, I empower to push through and do what brings you peace. Until we realign again. Peace, Love and Abundance!