Hidden in Plain Sight - The Unseen Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout cover art

Hidden in Plain Sight - The Unseen Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout

Hidden in Plain Sight - The Unseen Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout

By: Dr. Lauren Schaefer
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About this listen

Tune in to Explore How Unrecognized ADHD, OCD, and Autism Shape the Lives of Anxious Women.


Let's see if this fits for you. I'm guessing you’re the one who holds it all together. You’re competent, kind, and constantly overthinking. You get things done, but you never feel done. You’re exhausted: mentally, emotionally, and physically. You never feel rested. You never feel right. You care deeply and try so hard to be good and helpful, while quietly unraveling inside. You’re not failing. You're not broken. You’ve just been hidden in plain sight.


Hidden in Plain Sight is a podcast for people-pleasing, perfectionistic, over-giving women who can't seem to find relief. Hosted by psychologist Dr. Lauren Schaefer, this show explores the often-missed diagnoses behind lifelong anxiety, burnout, and shame in women who’ve spent years masking often missed diagnoses that are often labeled as "just anxiety." This is a podcast for the women who’ve been called too sensitive, too anxious, too intense, or too much, when really, they’ve just been misunderstood.


We’ll talk about the perfectionism you've developed to hide your ADHD. Obsessive-compulsive personality traits that were mistaken for a “strong work ethic.” Autism that’s camouflaged by emotional intelligence, people pleasing, and hypervigilant masking.


Here you’ll find language for your exhaustion, compassion for your coping, and a mirror that finally reflects the truth: You were never too much. You were just unseen. This is a place to unmask, unravel, and understand the real reasons it’s always felt harder than it looked.

© 2025 Dr. Lauren Schaefer Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • The Sensitivity–Frustration Loop: Why You Snap (and How to Soothe Your System)

    The Sensitivity–Frustration Loop: Why You Snap (and How to Soothe Your System)
    Nov 2 2025

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    Ever feel like you know you’re overreacting but can’t stop? Dr. Lauren Schaefer breaks down why frustration hits harder for sensitive, high-alert nervous systems, and how small shifts in thought, breath, and rhythm can rebuild your frustration tolerance from the inside out.

    What if your frustration isn’t a flaw but a signal? In this episode, Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the science and psychology behind an overactive alert system: the blend of hormones, beliefs, and attachment that turns small stress into big emotion. You’ll learn how to spot your body’s “I can’t stand this” loop and rewire it into calm, compassion, and trust. This episode bridges cognitive therapy and body-based regulation to help you move from reactive to resilient.

    Support the show

    With warmth,

    Dr. Lauren Schaefer
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    39 mins
  • When Control Becomes the Cage: Letting Go of Anxious Safety Behaviors

    When Control Becomes the Cage: Letting Go of Anxious Safety Behaviors
    Oct 27 2025

    In this episode, we dig into the quiet habits that masquerade as “self-care” but actually keep us trapped in anxiety, what therapists call safety behaviors. A safety behavior is anything you do to try to feel less anxious, uncertain, or uncomfortable in the moment. From mental reassurance loops to over-planning every possible outcome, these small acts are our brain’s way of begging for certainty. The trouble is, they work against us in the fight to manage anxiety.

    We’ll explore how these patterns show up in everyday life (e.g., checking, avoiding, asking for validation) and how each one reinforces the belief that we can’t handle discomfort or uncertainty. We will explore how to respond more effectively.

    This is an invitation to meet uncertainty differently. To stop negotiating with fear and start experimenting with trust. If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “I just need to make sure,” this episode is for you.

    See my companion substack (When Control Becomes the Cage) for a written copy of what we review in this episode.

    With warmth,

    Dr. Lauren Schaefer
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    24 mins
  • Why I Created the Hidden in Plain Sight Podcast

    Why I Created the Hidden in Plain Sight Podcast
    Oct 27 2025

    This brief episode explores the purpose of this podcast and why it was created.

    So many women look fine on the outside, capable, kind, accomplished, while quietly suffering on the inside. Hidden in Plain Sight is for the ones who hold it all together, the ones who care too much, the the high-functioning, deeply feeling women who have been dismissed for their anxiety, while all along may have been dealing with something else (e.g., ADHD, ASD, OCD). In this podcast, Psychologist Dr. Lauren Schaefer invites listeners to understand what is behind the over-thinking, to unmask the roles of helper, fixer, good girl, and emotional manager, and begin coming home to who they really are.

    Each episode explores the intersection of neurodivergence, trauma, perfectionism, and emotional burnout with honesty and compassion. This is not a self-improvement show. It’s a self-seeing one.

    With warmth,

    Dr. Lauren Schaefer
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    8 mins
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