This Radically Alive Women Edgecast conversation between Julia Neumann and Ellen Appleton explores “mother graduation,” the transition from actively mothering children to relating to them as independent adults.

Ellen describes her deep identification with motherhood, including two wanted pregnancies, and speaks to the innate wisdom, love, and intensity she experienced as a mother. The discussion highlights how motherhood is often undervalued by society and how lack of support for pregnant women and mothers can contribute to generational trauma. Ellen shares that parenting involves repeated separations and describes the particular pain of letting her son enter manhood without clear, emotionally supportive models of masculinity, including her anger at patriarchal systems that encourage men to shut down feelings.

She explains that mother graduation does not mean abandoning children, but completing the separation, cutting energetic ties, and shifting into being an elder—standing behind adult offspring rather than in front of them.

Ellen details her own year-plus process involving emotional healing, grieving, and group work with other mothers, with a ceremony as a culminating celebration. She notes improvements in her relationship with her son, discusses her request for her adult children to call her “Ellen” rather than “mom,” and reflects on reclaiming her identity and energy beyond motherhood to give back to the wider community.

Ellen offers initial guidance for mothers with children 18+ to make graduation a conscious topic, clearly hand responsibility back to their children, allow different timing for different children, and seek support, including coaching.

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Contact Ellen Appleton

On Mother Graduation