• Listeners' Questions
    Aug 1 2025

    It’s the last episode before a summer break. Giles and Esther open the post bag to answer some of your questions. There are love stories, restaurant reviews, far flung listeners, potters, dating advice, film recommendations and more.


    As always please do get in touch with any comments or questions: noidea@thetimes.com


    Have a lovely summer – see you in September

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    29 mins
  • England in the final but does anyone really care?
    Jul 25 2025

    England’s female football team – the Lionesses - have reached the final of Euro 2025. Giles is intrigued to know who is following their progress.

    A government initiative to limit public services to UK billionaires prompts an idea…what other mundane day to day activities should billionaires be prohibited from doing? Riding the top deck of a bus? If there is an art to holiday packing, Esther has mastered it – one pillow, one can of WD40 and a knife. Job done! What would a resourceful Girl Guide do with such a collection of items…fashion a 'think positive' badge perhaps?

    Lastly, dear old King Charles has launched a range beard grooming products. No comedy in that…none whatsoever. Anyone for a jar of royal goolie washer?


    Please do get in touch with any comments or questions: noidea@thetimes.com

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    28 mins
  • The Master Chef Mess
    Jul 18 2025

    Giles has been triggered. The BBC/Banijay investigation into allegations surrounding former Master Chef presenter Greg Wallace has published its findings. The results are enough to sack not only Greg Wallace, but also former co-host John Torode. Rather than sack Mr Torode perhaps the BBC could kindly draft a resignation statement for him, sighting the stress of recent events and challenges to his mental health…not so fast! Giles is furious about the whole matter.

    The BBC isn’t all bad, this week President Trump gave an interview to their reporter Gary O'Donoghue. In the interview President Trump revealed that he doesn’t really trust anyone. Which poses the question, how important is trust?

    This week we were given the first glimpse of the actor who will play Harry Potter in the new HBO series. Have they sprung a surprise?

    Lastly, as a new iteration of Barbie is unveiled - diabetic Barbie, what others could there be...?


    Please do get in touch with any comments or questions: noidea@thetimes.com

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    27 mins
  • The Salt Path Crumbles!
    Jul 11 2025

    The Salt Path is a worldwide, multimillion bestselling novel which was later turned into a Hollywood film. It was based on a true story…or so everyone thought. Revelations this week cast considerable doubt on the veracity of the first-person tale. Does it change how Esther and Giles feel about the book?

    Greg Wallace has finally been fired by the BBC but the question is did he take a leaf out of the Giles Coren school of defence in his parting statement? Esther has another question too, has Giles ever had the slightest inclination to show his peculiars in the office?

    After more listeners emails some tips to get young people ready for the workplace:

    Step one - cast aside all self-respect.


    Please do get in touch with any comments or questions: noidea@thetimes.com

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    26 mins
  • Starmer's Worst Week
    Jul 4 2025

    Giles wants to recount his plumbing woes…the Smurfs give him a helping hand to hurry things along.

    After sifting through the first weeks post from the new podcast email address Giles and Esther assess a very difficult week for Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer.

    A week since rap duo 'Bob Vylan' hit the headlines at Glastonbury Giles shares some of the responses to his notebook piece on the subject, not all are positive.

    Then a whistle stop tour of faces on bank notes, the cool club and Eau De Politician.


    Please do get in touch with any comments or questions: noidea@thetimes.com

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    29 mins
  • Top Tips for a Great Night's Sleep...or are they?
    Jun 20 2025

    Esther and Giles have some exciting news which they share at the start of the episode…


    On with the pod:

    Do couples have a better chance of staying together if their political views are aligned?

    Luckily for Esther and Giles they never discuss politics, they’re far more concerned with being mean and what they’re drinking in the evening. Just as well as Esther keeps her voting habits a closely guarded secret. But why do some couples get sucked into political debate?

    If talking politics doesn’t make you sleepy, have you tried being bound, gagged and cuddling up to some terrapins? If you’re not convinced, don’t worry there are lots of other sleep tips - most of which are genuine.

    Lastly, it’s bye-bye to the cookbook…about time too.


    And that address: noidea@thetimes.com

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    27 mins
  • No Kids. No Dogs. No Muzak.
    Jun 13 2025

    **Please hold. Giles and Esther will be with you shortly….[muzak]…Press 1 for the podcast. Press 2 for immediate death or press 3 to speak to a bot who will return you to the main menu…**

    If there really is no sound more joyful than that of children playing, no wonder the world is so miserable. It is a sound in short supply as children have retreated from playing outdoors to stay indoors on their tech. Former children’s commissioner Baroness Anne Longfield has called for ‘no ball games’ signs to be removed to get children playing outside again. The trouble is, if they go outside who is there to play with apart from a load of killer dogs and some bloodthirsty gangs?

    If kids can’t play outside, can you take them to work? Well, best to check first in case you’re turned away at the door as one lady was with her nine-month-old. Should she have been allowed in, or are some places just not meant to be child friendly?

    **A new apple app promises to deal with hold music for its users, but Esther doesn’t want it.

    Finally, can you schedule your friends? Lily Allen 40, may do this (or she may just have a good sense of humour.) Either way she has given Giles an idea…

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    28 mins
  • Balls to Economy, Winners Fly Club Class
    Jun 6 2025

    The airline industry has big plans to improve life for economy passengers. But Giles and Esther have a better solution, just fly business class. And while they’re at it, ditch Gucci shops, treble the size of Pret and provide free bags to those at the back.

    Last year Giles' bid to join the The Garrick Club was declined so, as ITV news presenter Julie Etchingham withdraws her candidacy to join surely, he is on her side? Well it depends, was she tortured at school and how much can she drink?

    Finally, what toll do the small microstresses of life take on us? If only there was a handy survey offering more information and on which a newspaper could loosely hang an article? Oh wait… cue a list of pet hates, and a detour into surveys in general and food surveys in particular.

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    29 mins