Lots of people tell me they want couple friendships – you know, those picture-perfect foursomes you see in movies, where everybody gets along effortlessly.

Here’s the truth: couple friendships are complex! Why? Because you’re not just making friends couple-to-couple. You’re actually building FOUR SEPARATE FRIENDSHIPS at the same time.

My husband and I have lots of couple friendships – probably more than 20 – and they range from old friends to new friends, close friends to casual friends. Some we might have over for dinner, some we travel and spend holidays with.

This episode covers the real dynamics of couple friendships: what makes them work, what complicates them, and how to strengthen them over time.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The different dynamics to manage in couple friendships, including individual friendships in the couple and the dynamics when all four are together
• Being aware and respectful of the different levels of closeness within the group; it might be a combination of present friends, historic friends, familiar friends, etc.
• How to find couple friends, from leaning into existing friendships to meeting new people in your community
• Navigating complications with couple friendships, from life changes (a move or the introduction of kids) to divorce

Resources & Links

Listen to Episode 28 about adult slumber parties with Dr. Erika Michalski.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

Calling someone you haven’t spoken to in two years isn’t weird; it’s just being human.

Today’s guest is Jacob Marquez, also known as J. Henry, a Seattle-based tech entrepreneur and musical artist whose approach to relationships challenges a lot of conventional friendship wisdom.

Jacob is the founder of Seattle’s Best Brunch, bringing creatives together to collaborate and spotlight each other’s work, and he’s developing an app that helps people nurture their relationships.

What drew me to Jacob wasn’t what he was building but how he approaches connection. He’ll call someone out of the blue after years of silence, and he thinks that friendships can be reciprocal – even if one person talks about themself the whole time.

Our conversation touches on everything including low-maintenance friendships, systems for connection, and the impact of redefining intimacy, and I think it will have us all thinking twice about our assumptions regarding how friendship should work.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Jacob’s work in community connection, including Seattle’s Best Brunch and his app, Connect, which provides systems for staying connected
• The different systems each of us uses to track and maintain friendships; plus, why it’s important to be open to change and growth in our friendships as time goes on
• Different ways friendships can actually be reciprocal – even if you don’t think they are at first glance!
• The entrances into different communities you could be finding just by being open and communicative about what you’re looking for

Resources & Links

On Instagram check out Jacob’s personal Instagram and his account for Seattle’s Best Brunch.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

Cheer your friends on for hanging out with each other … even if it’s without you!

It might sound like counterintuitive friendship advice. But the truth is, when my friends have rich, full social lives, I actually benefit more than anyone.

In this episode, I’m going to share some stories where I have either encouraged my friends to make other friends or actually cheered them on for hanging out without me.

My friend who’s moved away and whose baby was in the NICU? I want her to have other mom friends! I want her to have friends who live CLOSE to her! Mostly, I want this for my friend’s well-being, but there are many benefits for me, too.

When my friends have rich social lives, it also enriches my social capital and puts less pressure on me to be EVERYTHING for them – which honestly is a healthier situation for all of us.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The friendship trio dynamic: why I’m not offended when the others hang out without me and the importance of one-on-one time even in a group
• The value of friends having diverse social networks, including activity-specific friends, life stage friends, and work friends
• Social capital and why having friends with a robust web of connections makes me feel more supported and connected, too
• Benefits of encouraging friends to make other friends, including reducing pressure and providing more niche support

Resources & Links

Listen to Episode 12 about my roots framework.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!