I sobbed in the car about the holidays this week – but not for reasons you might think.

Here’s what made me emotional: I am so grateful and excited for the ways we are celebrating our holidays this year. It could not be further from the reasons I’ve car sobbed in years past.

Some of you are already excited about the holidays, and I love that for you. But that is not everyone’s experience, and for years, it was not mine. There was a period in my 20s when my partner Michael literally called me the Grinch. Holidays are often reserved for families – so where does that leave those of us who don’t have strong familial ties or want something different?

This episode is about how to create holiday traditions with your friends that feel GOOD, with practical advice on how to initiate these conversations and get the ball moving, with the hope that you too will dream up and work toward your own ideal celebrations, too.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• My personal relationship and evolution with the holiday season, from being the Grinch to crying in the car out of happiness for my holiday plans
• What I was looking for in my holidays, including togetherness, connection, and splitting the burden of the magic making
• The societal normals that often limit holiday options to family gatherings or solitude, and the third option I’m proposing: holidays with friends
• Initiating conversations with friends about getting together for the holidays – which often involves a little vulnerability
• The importance of patience and openness in creating new holiday traditions with friends

Reflection Question:

What would your dream holiday look like? Formal, informal? Spent with family? Friends? Alone? What seeds could you plant now so that in the coming years you can make that dream a reality?

Notable Quotes:

“I have spent the past five years figuring this out. I was truly the Grinch. Michael actually used to call me the Grinch. I didn't even realize how much I despised the holidays in my low- to mid-20s, and Michael comes from a family that loves the holidays, so I'm sure I stood out like a sore thumb because of my holiday feelings. I want to talk about this journey of going from someone who dreaded holidays to creating celebrations like this year that I am actually so excited about I am crying in my car in gratitude.” (3:14)

“If you are sitting here listening to this podcast, feeling like the holidays that are coming up aren't quite what you want them to be, I want you to know that you're not alone. I hope you already know that, but you are definitely not alone. And more importantly, I want you to know that it's okay to start dreaming up something different, and that once you have that dream, sometimes all it takes is a few brave conversations to start creating the holiday experience that you've already wanted.” (29:11)

Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

If you’re somebody who dreads going to a party, then this episode is for you.

Sometimes the couch feels more appealing than going out into the world and socializing, and I get it. Attending a gathering takes energy. Sometimes it feels awkward. But gatherings can also make us feel inspired and supported and invigorated.

Today I offer an approach that will help you take charge of your guest experience with three simple questions. You can ask yourself these questions before you leave, while you’re driving, or even on your way inside. It’s that easy.

My hope is that this episode helps more gatherings feel like time well-spent – and that, consequently, you’ll want to say yes to more invitations in the future, too.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why do we like being invited? What feeling do we think a gathering will offer? And why do we sometimes feel dread on the day of?
• What the very best gatherings can provide: a shift in momentum, a feeling of relief, a connection made, something learned
• How to take charge of our guest experiences and create moments of meaning by asking three simple questions
• Remembering that we don’t always know what will happen – and that sometimes the most unexpected gatherings can actually be the most impactful

Reflection Question:

Are you a person who dreads gatherings? What is it about them that you fear? What tools from this episode will you take with you for your next gathering?

Notable Quotes:

“The best gatherings – I think, if we look back on them, there's something about that gathering that caused an internal state change, an emotional shift, or some sort of momentum in our lives. We're all out here spending so much time in our own heads – which is great, by the way. I'm not saying don't spend time in your thoughts meditating and being present with yourself. I'm just saying, for a lot of us, that's how we spend the majority of our time, and sometimes, it is nice to be with other people who might inspire you, or offer a fresh perspective or a boost of information or a new way to see the world – an opportunity to feel invigorated or nourished or supported.”

“We can't just keep walking into these gatherings pretending like we have no real power here. We do and we can create meaning for ourselves. So how do you do that? Well, I have a very simple strategy. All I do is ask myself three questions before I walk in the door. You could do this while you are driving there. You could sit in your car for a moment before you go inside. You could do this honestly, even between the time it takes you to park your car and walk in the door. It really is that easy.”

Resources & Links

Read The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. It’s amazing!

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

Raise your hand if you’ve ever walked away from an interaction and thought, gosh, I was so awkward! They’ll never want to talk to me again.

If this is you, you’re not alone, and honestly, it probably wasn’t as bad as you think; we’re often harder on ourselves than other people are on us. When it comes to connections, there’s a name for this underestimation of how much others actually enjoy interacting with us.

The Liking Gap is a social phenomenon that I discuss in-depth in Episode 41, and today, I want to talk about it again – but this time, how to reduce that gap with five tips on feeling more confident and connected during everyday interactions, no fake positivity required.

Whether you’re navigating friendships at work, struggling with small talk, or seeking genuine connection, this episode is packed with relatable stories, actionable advice, and plenty of encouragement.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• What the “liking gap” really is—a scientifically studied phenomenon where we underestimate how much others actually enjoy interacting with us
• Five actionable ways to feel more confident and connected in conversations, from being genuinely curious to using both verbal and nonverbal cues to show interest
• Insightful reframes for neurodivergent listeners, with practical pivots that turn common hurdles (like interrupting or not loving eye contact) into strengths
• Why searching for the good in others and starting with a baseline of respect can transform even casual acquaintanceships

Resources & Links

Listen to Episode 15 about staying curious in your interactions, Episode 41 about the Liking Gap, Episode 74 about small intimacies, and Episode 40 and Episode 144 about neurodivergent friendships.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!