Richard Helen is one of those people where every time he opens his mouth, you want to grab a notepad and write everything down. We met through a men's group, and I've been trying to get him on the podcast ever since.

Richard's story isn't what you'd expect. He grew up in a small town in Texas, joined the military at 19, and discovered leadership in a way that completely changed his life. But it wasn't just about leading others—it was about learning to lead himself first. Through counseling, reflection, and a lot of hard work, Richard discovered how the way he was raised shaped the way he showed up in relationships. And once he understood that, everything changed.

This conversation is one of the most practical episodes we've ever done. If you've ever struggled in a relationship—whether it's with your spouse, your kids, or even yourself—this episode will give you real tools to work with.

Richard breaks down what a healthy relationship actually looks like, how to communicate when emotions are running high, how to rebuild trust after you've broken it, and why so many of us keep attracting the same type of person over and over again.

What We Talked About:

• How the military taught Richard about leadership and serving something bigger than himself

• The five agreements every healthy relationship needs (spiritual, emotional, financial, sexual, and parenting)

• Why emotional intelligence is the foundation of every relationship

• How to communicate during conflict without tearing each other down

• The rules Richard and his wife created to fight fair in their marriage

• How to apologize the right way (and why most apologies don't work)

• Rebuilding trust after you've broken it—and why you can't rush the process

• Why counseling isn't just for broken people—it's for anyone who wants to grow

• How to heal from your past so you don't keep bringing it into new relationships

• Why you can't expect someone else to validate what only God can

Richard has been married three times, and he's the first to tell you that his past failures made him the man he is today. He doesn't regret any of it—because without those experiences, he wouldn't be able to help the people he's helping now.

If you're locked up right now and thinking about the relationships you've damaged or the ones you want to build when you get out—this episode is for you. Start working on yourself now so you're ready when the time comes.

Connect with Richard Helen: Website: RichardHelen.com Books available on Amazon (search Richard Helen)

If this episode helped you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And remember — you're loved, you're forgiven, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Justin Visitacion and I have been talking about this conversation for over a year. We actually recorded a two-hour episode a while back, but only one clip ever saw the light of day. So we sat down again—this time with clarity, intention, and no holding back.

Justin’s story isn’t the typical redemption narrative you usually hear on this podcast. He’s never been incarcerated. But what he does bring is a powerful perspective on entrepreneurship, faith, and fatherhood—one that many men coming out of prison need to hear, especially when they’re trying to figure out what comes next.

Justin went from being a college baseball player to becoming a father at just 19 years old. That moment changed everything. He was forced to grow up fast and make real decisions about the kind of man he wanted to be. With only one semester left, he walked away from nursing school to pursue roofing sales—a move that seemed reckless at the time, but ultimately reshaped his entire future.

Today, he runs Ember Roofing, a roofing company built on integrity, experience, and treating people the right way. That decision didn’t just change his career—it gave him the freedom to provide for his family in ways he never thought possible.

We've been trying to get Sylvester Stemley on this podcast for three years. When he finally explained why he waited, it all clicked — he was watching to see if I was answering an agenda or answering an assignment.

This conversation hits deep. Sylvester went from managing trainers and working with pro athletes to full-time youth ministry, realizing God had been preparing him all along. We talk about the Teen Summit, the challenge of reaching kids in a noisy world, and a powerful truth: don’t waste the wait. While you’re waiting, are you picking up the weight to grow stronger?

If you feel stuck, overlooked, or are waiting on a breakthrough, this episode is for you. Sylvester unpacks Joseph’s time in prison and how purpose can still be lived out in the hardest seasons.

We cover:

• His transition from fitness to youth ministry

• Why he waited three years to come on the podcast

• Lessons from the Teen Summit

• The real obstacle in youth ministry

• Why discipleship starts at home

• Agenda vs. assignment

• Not wasting your season

• Using influence the right way

Sylvester is humble, intentional, and serious about reaching the next generation. I’m fired up about what we’re building.

If this episode spoke to you, share it. And if you’re in a season of waiting — don’t waste it. Pick up the weight.