Episodes

  • Semenyo's 0.028% return, six nicknames in 15 seconds & Scotland's bottom dogs

    Semenyo's 0.028% return, six nicknames in 15 seconds & Scotland's bottom dogs
    Jan 13 2026
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a minor technicality with Cup-upset measuring, the size of the chunk of Antoine Semenyo's fee he had paid back, Scott McTominay's many nicknames, an unacceptable phrase for a team bottom of the table, a four-way footballing dilemma you have absolutely never considered before and Arsenal flops' names in Bruce Springsteen duets, Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    44 mins
  • 41-year-old blokes playing for prime Barca, Ken Barlow's terrace anthem, and the Sir Alex blessing

    41-year-old blokes playing for prime Barca, Ken Barlow's terrace anthem, and the Sir Alex blessing
    Jan 8 2026
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Manchester United's legacy machine cranks into gear again, some confusion over the pronunication of Chelsea's new manager, a familiar sound in a mid-90s wrestling arcade game, unlikely common ground between River Plate and Coronation Street's Ken Barlow, a teacher breaks some football news to his class of Year 8s and a relatively deep data dive into Richard Keys’ lesser-known catchphrase. Meanwhile, the panel decide the level of football at which they would simply be a hindrance to their team at right-back. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    49 mins
  • Resurgent corner flags, Eddie Howe's onslaught threshold & "the Pound Shop Potter”

    Resurgent corner flags, Eddie Howe's onslaught threshold & "the Pound Shop Potter”
    Jan 6 2026
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a whistle-stop tour of the media reaction to Chelsea and Manchester United's managerial upheaval, the Premier League finally unleashes its video archive, Eddie Howe queries the "onslaught" threshold, some quintessential West Hamming, some unprecedented co-commentary homework, hyperlocal derby technicalities, and Richard Keys kicking off his 2026 with an absolute bang. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    51 mins
  • Snake pits and minefields, the shadow follow-on, and catching on camera

    Snake pits and minefields, the shadow follow-on, and catching on camera
    Jan 3 2026
    The fifth outing for the Cricket Cliches crew but are they now set? And what does that mean, anyway? The shadow batting debate intensifies as we enter the second innings; Tickers (and most of the audience) are on #TeamGallen and we’re all checking on our sanity with Internal Athers. There could only be one topic at the centre of our conversation; it’s the strip at the centre of the game. Was the pitch at Melbourne a snake-pit or a minefield, or something else entirely, and is ‘curator’ a bit much for the bloke who cuts the grass? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    58 mins
  • That Man DCL, heading your granny & clowns in Slough bunkers

    That Man DCL, heading your granny & clowns in Slough bunkers
    Dec 30 2025
    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the freescoring Dominic Calvert-Lewin passes a very particular threshold, Match of the Day exceeds its goalkeeper pundit quota, Joe Cole somehow morphs into Harry Redknapp on the radio, Michael B Jordan renames AFC Bournemouth, absurd salary-cap developments in the USA... and a tree with Richard Keys's voice. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    41 mins
  • Domestic shadow-batting, no mugs, and spectator stress

    Domestic shadow-batting, no mugs, and spectator stress
    Dec 24 2025
    While England self-immolate, Cricket Cliches maintains its admittedly modest run of form in our fourth outing. Aussie commentators Aaron Finch and Adam Gilchrist are taken to task as they play fast and loose… with words. Picking up where we left off with the classification of lower-order runs, we think about the individuals doing the damage. Do you know which end of the bat to hold? Seems like the bare minimum. And, with the help of an impressively-named correspondent, we compare the yin and yang of watching cricket when your team is either batting or bowling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    55 mins
  • Absolute dreamland: The Best of Football Clichés in 2025

    Absolute dreamland: The Best of Football Clichés in 2025
    Dec 23 2025
    Every football pundit ever, condensed into one approximated voice; accidental nursery rhymes in Champions League commentary; last-gasp Cliches Quiz drama; red-card timekeeping technicalities; "Hawk on!", Niclas Fullkrug’s oddly awe-inspiring forehead; Richard Keys and a legendary two-hour livestream; a man called Rudi Voller; solving one of the greatest football TV mysteries of all time; Tom Cruise’s Champions League final punditry; The Agyemang Cacophony; football’s increasingly ludicrous uses of the word “amid”; the Match of the Day intro scandal; Jamie O’Hara vs the RAF, the "Club X til I die" loophole; homegrown stewards and some retro Andy Gray perfection. As Football Clichés showcases the podcast's very best moments of 2025, our thanks to everyone for listening, contributing, subscribing and live-show attending. Bring on 2026... Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    1 hr and 37 mins
  • Glove-spitting goalkeepers & edge-of-the-D drama at five-a-side: The listeners' loves & hates

    Glove-spitting goalkeepers & edge-of-the-D drama at five-a-side: The listeners' loves & hates
    Dec 18 2025
    Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are players whose name-based chants sound like they're being booed, the layout of seven-goal thrillers on score apps, the flimsy logic of “but they still had 11 internationals out there” and the unsatisfying spectacle of waiting for a ball to reach the edge of the D in 5-a-side. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a superb tweet-and-blog salvo from Richard Keys. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    55 mins