In this episode, Dr Tom Nicholson breaks down how productivity, overperformance, and even “success” can quietly become coping mechanisms that lead to burnout. Drawing from lived experience, academia, and clinical work, he explores how neurodivergent people can use their strengths without masking themselves into exhaustion.

Dr Tom Nicholson is an assistant professor of mental health nursing, public speaker, and trainer specializing in neurodivergence and inclusion. He combines lived experience with clinical and academic expertise to help individuals and organizations rethink productivity, burnout, and sustainable ways of working.

Episode Highlights

00:02:12 – Diagnosed with ADHD at five and labeled “the problem child”
Dr Tom describes being diagnosed in the mid-1990s and quickly framed as disruptive rather than supported. Despite doing well academically, he internalized the message that effort and compliance mattered more than wellbeing, laying the groundwork for overworking later in life.

00:03:37 – Discovering autism later in adulthood
He explains diagnostic overshadowing and how ADHD became the explanation for every difficulty he had. Autism was missed entirely, even as he became a specialist himself, showing how easily burnout risks can be overlooked when people appear “high functioning.”

00:06:08 – Reframing school trauma and constant effort
With a later autism lens, Dr Tom revisits his school experiences and recognizes how much energy went into coping, masking, and adapting. This reframing helps explain why productivity and overperformance often feel compulsory rather than optional.

00:17:30 – Productivity works in bursts, not all day
Dr Tom explains that his productivity comes in intense, focused bursts followed by long recovery periods. Expecting steady, all-day output ignores how many neurodivergent brains actually function and pushes people into boom-and-bust cycles.

00:25:23 – Early fatherhood collides with productivity culture
He speaks candidly about sleep deprivation, routine collapse, and identity shifts during the first year of parenting. Hustle culture and productivity myths make this period far harder, especially for neurodivergent parents with high sensory and rest needs.

00:32:36 – When productivity advice turns into self-punishment
Dr Tom reflects on consuming large amounts of self-help and productivity content. Instead of helping, it reinforced the belief that he was never doing enough, turning tools into weapons for self-criticism rather than support.

00:39:30 – Burnout as a forced stop
After pushing through a PhD, lockdown, and a newborn, his body shut everything down. He describes burnout not as weakness, but as the body enforcing boundaries when the mind refuses to listen.

00:44:59 – The question behind overworking
The episode closes with a powerful reflection: much productivity is driven by old narratives and the need to prove something. Dr. Tom invites listeners to ask whether their drive comes from genuine values or from trying to outrun past judgments.

Connect with Dr. Tom:
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dr-tom-nicholson-089727131
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtomnicholson

Connect with Jeremy:
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/nageljeremy
Email: jeremy@focusbear.io

More from Focus Bear:
Website: https://focusbear.io
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/focus-bear/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@focusbearapp
Twitter: https://twitter.com/focusbear1

Understanding your neurodivergent brain isn’t about following one-size-fits-all solutions. In this episode, Yush Sztalkoper shares how experimentation, personalization, and a holistic approach helped her support herself and her neurodivergent children. From biohacking and genetics to AI tools that actually make daily life easier, this conversation explores what happens when you focus less on forcing outcomes and more on building systems that work for YOUR wiring.

Yush is a neurodivergent entrepreneur, coach, and parent of a twice-exceptional child. She integrates positive intelligence, parenting experience, and individualized strategies to help neurodivergent people build sustainable emotional capacity, productivity, and regulation.

Subscribe for more neurodivergent lived experiences, honest conversations, and strategies that actually help.

Episode Highlights

00:02:59 — Understanding biohacking for neurodivergent needs
Yush explains that biohacking isn’t about supplements, but about understanding how your brain and body respond to lifestyle, environment, and support systems. She describes it as trial-and-error rooted in data rather than “one magic solution”.

00:04:00 — One-size-fits-all approaches don’t work
Many neurodivergent people try generic strategies and feel like they “failed” when nothing changes. Yush reframes this as insufficient solutions, not personal failure, and emphasizes individualized experimentation.

00:09:30 — Dopamine and impulsivity explained
Instead of treating impulsivity as a behavior issue, Yush and her naturopath looked at neurotransmitter pathways. Understanding dopamine differences helped them address impulsivity at the root, not just on the surface.

00:10:30 — Small discoveries can drive big change
A vitamin deficiency played a surprising role in her son’s impulsivity. By combining nutrition, lifestyle, and behavior support, they saw measurable changes in daily life.

00:12:23 — Epigenetics as empowerment
Yush shares how genetics and lifestyle interact, and how understanding these systems helps people make empowered choices without feeling destined to struggle. She reframes genetics as information, not limitation.

00:19:21 — Using AI to maximize neurodivergent strengths
AI becomes a cognitive amplifier, helping her process information faster, spot patterns, and make decisions with less overwhelm. She uses multiple tools depending on the task.

00:22:30 — Parenting support through AI and gamification
Yush uses AI creatively in parenting, turning overwhelming routines like cleaning into engaging, playful tasks. This shifts regulation and reduces stress at home.

00:28:00 — Spotting blind spots with AI
AI isn’t just practical; it helps her identify missing perspectives and stay curious about what she might be overlooking. This helps her adapt more quickly to challenges.

00:33:52 — Harmful productivity advice
Pushing through, forcing productivity, or “just powering through” can damage capacity and emotional regulation. Yush argues that protecting the nervous system matters more than finishing a task.

00:41:55 — Executive function sprints in real life
Her mornings are intense sensory and logistical routines requiring planning, flexibility, and capacity. She shows how executive functioning plays a central role in daily parenting.

Connect with Yush:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yushsztalkoper/

Website: https://www.neurosparkplus.com/

Connect with Jeremy:

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/nageljeremy

Email: jeremy@focusbear.io

Connect with Joey:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeycorea/

Newsletter: https://thepluckyjester.com/newsletter/

More from Focus Bear:

Website: https://focusbear.io

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/focus-bear/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@focusbearapp

Twitter: https://twitter.com/focusbear1

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/focus_bear/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/focusbearapp/

Podcast: https://podcast.focusbear.io

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@focusbear

ADHD and high achievement don’t cancel each other out. Gabriele Marini shares how his neurodevelopmental evaluation suggested he was “too smart” for ADHD, which led him to reflect on what ADHD really looks like in adults who appear successful from the outside. He opens up about the pressure to perform, the confusion around symptoms, and how finally understanding his brain allowed him to replace doubt with clarity and self-acceptance.

Gabriele Marini is a PhD researcher and lecturer living in Australia. He studies computational linguistics and brings a unique perspective on ADHD through his academic journey, lived experience, and immigrant background.

Subscribe for more neurodivergent experiences, lived stories, and honest conversations.

🔍 Episode Highlights

00:02:40 — “Why can’t I just sit down and do it?”
Gabrielle describes sitting at his desk for hours, rereading the same paragraph and blaming himself for not being able to focus. He explains how trying harder didn’t help and how he punished himself by staying there all day instead of living his life.

00:04:30 — “If I’m lazy… how did I move to another country?”
He shares how someone close to him challenged the idea that he was “lazy,” pointing out that moving internationally to pursue a PhD isn’t something a lazy person does. It helped him understand that his struggles weren’t moral failings, but neurodivergent challenges.

00:06:30 — “Your IQ is too high for ADHD.”
During a neurodevelopmental evaluation, he was dismissed because his IQ was above average, even though he was anxious, exhausted and struggling daily. This shaped his view of how professionals often misunderstand ADHD in high-achieving adults.

00:07:00 — Sleepless nights, anxiety and invisible suffering
Gabrielle explains that his academic success didn’t mean things were easy. It came at the cost of sleeplessness, stress and physical and emotional exhaustion, which people around him rarely saw.

00:17:30 — ADHD as a different way of being
He reframed ADHD not as something broken, but as a different way of experiencing the world. Instead of forcing himself to be methodical, he started leaning into his strengths and natural abilities.

00:19:30 — Twin comparisons and identity pain
Growing up with a twin led to constant comparison, judgement and feeling “less than.” Those early comparisons deeply influenced his internal identity and self-esteem.

00:32:00 — Listening to his body and avoiding burnout
Gabrielle reflects on learning to slow down, notice what his body is telling him and allow himself rest. He explains how pushing through exhaustion led to burnout and why pacing himself is now essential.

00:36:30 — Revenge bedtime procrastination and protecting rest
He talks about staying awake late at night as a way to reclaim time and autonomy, even when it harms sleep. He is learning to protect rest, recognizing how much his nervous system actually needs it.

Connect with Gabriele :

Website: https://findanexpert.unimelb.edu.au/profile/831603-gabriele-marini

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gabryxx7/?hl=en

Connect with Jeremy:

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/nageljeremy

Email: jeremy@focusbear.io

More from Focus Bear:

Website: https://focusbear.io

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/focus-bear/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@focusbearapp

Twitter: https://twitter.com/focusbear1

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/focus_bear/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/focusbearapp/

Podcast: https://podcast.focusbear.io

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@focusbear