So you’re getting out of your emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage (congratulations, by the way, you’re a hero), and you think the hard part is over? Honey, buckle up. This episode pulls back the curtain on what actually goes down in family court and why women like you and me need to step into the CEO role of our divorce process.

I talk with Amy Polacko, a woman who’s been through it, wrote a book about it, and now helps other women survive it. We cover everything from strategic silence and choosing the right attorney, to the "he’s such a good guy" nonsense that courts just eat up.

Here’s the low-down: You could be framed. Literally. Not metaphorically. Actually framed. So let’s talk about how to not let that happen.

Key Takeaways:

• You must be the CEO of your divorce. Do not—I repeat, do NOT—hand the wheel to someone else and hope for the best.
• The justice system isn’t always just. Especially if you're a woman who dares to leave an abuser.
• Document everything and hire smart. Get a coach before you get an attorney. Better yet, get Amy.
• Abusers have a playbook. And Amy knows what’s on every page.
• Your “Christian” husband might still screw you over. Faith language doesn’t mean he’s safe. It might just mean he’s scarier.
• Kids grow up. Even if you lose custody, there’s hope. Connection isn't court-mandated, it’s soul-deep. We’ll talk about what to do if the unthinkable happens.

Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

• Check out Amy’s website and get some one-on-one coaching with her.
• Get Amy’s FREE resource, 10 Divorce Mistakes You Can’t Afford to Make.
• Get the Proactive Playbook for Divorce or take her course, Divorce Decoded.
• Read her co-authored book, Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld.
• Connect with Amy on Instagram.
• Go listen to some related Flying Free Podcast episodes, including “Winning Child Custody & Divorce Battles” and “How to Be the Parent Your Child Needs During Divorce.”
• And of course, consider joining the Flying Free Kaleidoscope where we make education and support for Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages (or making their exit) affordable and life-changing. (Plus Amy is one of our resident coaches!)

Amy is a divorce coach and an award-winning journalist who is a domestic abuse survivor. Through her Freedom Warrior coaching business, she has guided hundreds of women out of toxic relationships and empowers women to be the CEO of their divorce. She is a former full-time investigative reporter on television. Amy’s work has been featured in HuffPost, The Washington Post, Newsweek, NBC News, The Independent, New York Observer and Ms. She co-authored the groundbreaking book FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld with Dr. Christine Cocchiola which exposes the gender bias crisis in our justice system

What if the miracle you've been begging God for—the divine intervention, the total transformation of your emotionally bankrupt marriage—is actually you walking out the door?

In this episode, I pull back the curtain on my own bathroom-floor prayer sob sessions (complete with cold tile and mascara rivers) and challenge the dangerous theology that says staying in abusive marriages = holy martyrdom.

If you’ve been stuck in a cycle of “pray harder, suffer longer,” it’s time to consider that the still, small voice urging you to get out might actually be God.

Key Takeaways:

• You might be the miracle. Sometimes, walking away is the divine answer.
• God doesn’t endorse abuse. Staying to suffer isn’t a spiritual badge of honor.
• Faith isn’t a formula. Praying harder won’t fix what someone refuses to change.
• Waiting on God means moving. Biblical waiting sometimes involves action, not passive endurance.
• Peace is holy. A quiet, safe life isn’t boring—it’s blessed.
• Leaving can be faith-filled. Seeking safety is aligning with God's heart, not betraying Him.
• You’re already worthy. Your value isn’t tied to enduring mistreatment.

Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

If you liked today’s episode, you may relate to some of my others, including “What Are the Biblical Grounds for Divorce?” and “How Can You Tell if Your Abusive Partner Has Changed?”

Ever wondered what it’s like to be married to someone who swears allegiance to both their country and their ego? Meet Elizabeth, a brave survivor of emotional, spiritual, and psychological abuse within a military marriage. Spoiler alert: It’s not all flag-waving and family barbecues.

Key Takeaways:

• Abuse in Uniform: Elizabeth shares how military culture and constant relocation masked the escalating abuse in her marriage.
• Gaslight Central: Her husband weaponized patriotism, shifting blame and memory-wiping every argument like a bad magician.
• Mother of All Burnouts: From managing everything—including his moods—to finally realizing she wasn’t the crazy one, Elizabeth walks us through her awakening.
• Mini Steps, Mega Impact: Discover how moving into a different bedroom and refusing to play the smiling spouse at a promotion ceremony were small, powerful boundaries.
• From Silence to Sisterhood: Elizabeth’s healing journey took off with Flying Free, and she’s now part of our “veteran” squad of badass women who got out, stayed out, and grew like weeds in springtime.

Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Listen to some of our other recent survivor stories, including Lisa’s story and Erin’s story.