In this episode, we’re naming the emotions many widows feel during the holidays but rarely say out loud.
Jealousy. Guilt. Anger. Longing. Mixed emotions that feel contradictory and confusing.
And the shame that often follows.

I also answer listener questions submitted this week—questions so many of you are wrestling with as the season approaches.

If the holidays bring up complicated emotions for you, you’re not alone and you're not doing anything wrong. This episode will meet you right where you are.

What We Talk About in This Episode

• Why the holidays amplify heavy emotions in grief

A look at how cultural pressure to “be joyful” clashes with the reality of living in the after.

• Why jealousy and envy show up (and what they’re really pointing to)

Spoiler: It’s not about wanting someone else’s life. It’s about missing your own before-loss life.

• The guilt of not feeling festive

How guilt is tied to expectations—not failure—and why your nervous system is actually protecting you.

• Anger, frustration, and emotional sensitivity

Understanding anger as a secondary emotion and what it’s trying to tell you.

• Regret, longing, and navigating traditions that feel impossible this year

Why familiar rituals can intensify grief, and how to give yourself permission to pause, shift, or create new ones.

• Mixed emotions: joy + sadness existing together

How to honor the duality of grief without questioning your love or loyalty to your person.

Key Takeaways

• Every emotion you feel is valid. None of it makes you ungrateful or unloving.
• Duality is normal in grief. You can feel joy and heartbreak in the same breath.
• Awareness is calming. Naming an emotion helps regulate your nervous system.
• Your reactions are biological, not personal failures.
• Presence matters more than perfection. You don’t have to force holiday spirit.

Quotes From the Episode

Connect With Me

If this episode resonated with you, I would love to stay connected.
You don’t have to navigate grief alone.

• Instagram: @imsorrywerefriends
Where I share grief support, tools, and real conversations about widowhood.

• Website: laurenlentz.com
Learn more about my 1:1 coaching, group program Re-Imagine, and upcoming retreats.

• Work With Me:
If you’re ready for deeper support—whether through private coaching or group connection—you can explore current openings and offerings on my website.

I’m here walking this with you. Always.