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Episode 15: Forgiveness

Episode 15: Forgiveness

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The Support and Kindness Podcast Episode 15: Forgiveness Recorded: December 13, 2025 Hosts: Greg, Rich, Jay, Liam, Derek, Sam, Sarah Episode Summary Episode 15 takes an honest, grounded look at forgiveness—what it is, what it is not, and why it can feel so hard. The conversation moves through betrayal, boundaries, self-forgiveness, family wounds, addiction recovery, faith, and the physical and emotional costs of holding resentment. Rather than pushing “just let it go,” this episode emphasizes truth, safety, pacing, and compassion. Forgiveness is presented as a practice, not a demand—something that unfolds over time, sometimes unevenly, and often alongside grief and growth. The hosts explore forgiveness from personal experience, research, faith perspectives, recovery frameworks, and everyday life. Listeners are reminded that forgiveness does not require reconciliation, apologies, or forgetting—and that self-forgiveness may be the hardest work of all. Core Themes & Key Takeaways Forgiveness is a process, not a momentChoosing forgiveness does not erase pain or memoryForgiveness and reconciliation are not the sameBoundaries are compatible with forgivenessEmotional healing often lags behind decisionsSelf-forgiveness requires honesty without ongoing self-punishmentForgiveness can improve mental, physical, and emotional healthIn faith discussions, forgiveness is described as costly and often beyond human strength aloneHealing is layered, human, and non-linear Highlights & Insights by Host Greg Key Insight: Forgiveness is choosing to stop carrying the weight, not pretending the hurt never existed. Quote: “Forgiveness isn’t forgetting. It’s not saying it was fine. It’s not weakness. You can forgive and still say, ‘That was wrong,’ and protect yourself.” Noteworthy Contributions: Defined forgiveness using both psychological research and lived experienceIntroduced Everett Worthington’s REACH modelEmphasized decisional vs. emotional forgivenessAddressed how forgiveness affects the nervous system and physical healthFramed self-forgiveness as a daily, honest practice rather than a finished taskShared the Corrie Ten Boom story as an example of grace beyond human capacity Rich Key Insight: Forgiveness and access are not the same thing. Quote: “Forgiveness softens the heart. Wisdom protects it.” Noteworthy Contributions: Clarified the difference between forgiveness and reconciliationExplained boundaries as information, not punishmentHighlighted that trust is rebuilt through patterns, not apologiesNormalized forgiving someone while choosing distanceEmphasized that forgiveness does not require proximity Jay Key Insight: Feeling angry or triggered after forgiving does not mean you failed. Quote: “Just because you feel angry or triggered doesn’t mean you did it wrong.” Noteworthy Contributions: Shared deeply about self-forgiveness in addiction recoveryTalked openly about guilt and shame following harm done to familyReminded listeners that emotions can lag behind decisionsOffered hope through his sobriety journey and long-term healing Liam Key Insight: Waiting too long to forgive can come with its own regrets. Quote: “Don’t wait to forgive, because you don’t know if you’ll get the chance again.” Noteworthy Contributions: Shared a vulnerable story about unresolved forgiveness with his motherDiscussed posthumous forgiveness and its complexityReflected on rebuilding a strained relationship with his fatherExplored forgiveness as remembering differently, not erasing history Derek Key Insight: Holding onto anger can eclipse the good that was real. Quote: “If you negate everything that mattered, then it’s all been lost for nothing.” Noteworthy Contributions: Focused on grounding, gratitude, and perspective as tools for healingEncouraged embracing meaningful moments without denying painSpoke honestly about pride, heated conflict, and emotional spiralsEmphasized learning from pain without becoming consumed by it Sam Key Insight: Hatred costs more energy than many people have to spare. Quote: “It takes a lot of resources to hate, and I don’t have that many resources left.” Noteworthy Contributions: Shared how recovery shaped his approach to forgivenessTalked about releasing resentment for self-preservationAddressed forgiving parents while accepting who they areUsed humor and honesty to normalize slow, imperfect progress Sarah Key Insight: Forgiveness is about your peace, not someone else’s absolution. Quote: “Forgiveness is more for you than it is for anyone else.” Noteworthy Contributions: Reflected on pressure to forgive in religious environmentsSpoke about forgiving too easily before being truly readyEmphasized therapy as a place to untangle readiness and paceHighlighted self-forgiveness as her hardest work Practical Reflections for Listeners You are allowed to forgive without reconcilingYou are allowed to set boundaries without guiltYou are allowed to not be ready ...
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