This episode of The Arena features host Linda McGlaughlin (also referred to as Linda McLaclin) in conversation with guest J. Paul Nadeau. The podcast is recorded in the city of Hamilton, and the host opens the episode with an acknowledgement of the traditional First Nations territories upon which the city is situated.

The Host

The host is Linda McGlaughlin, who welcomes listeners "to the arena where sometimes the hardest part is showing up". She is preparing for season 5 of the podcast and plans to introduce a live interactive version of upcoming interviews on Fireside Chat. This is Episode 49 of the podcast.

The Guest and Topic

The guest, J. Paul Nadeau, is an international keynote speaker, actor, coach, and best-selling author of the book, Take Control of Your Life. The core discussion revolves around his philosophy that we all have choices to make about the events in our lives and how they impact us.

The central theme is not being a hostage to your own mind or circumstances. J. Paul Nadeau draws this idea from his professional experience as an expert hostage negotiator. He explains that we often become hostages to ourselves by giving in to negative narratives drilled into us by past experiences or people (caregivers, bullies, etc.).

Useful and Helpful Information

1. Paul Nadeau’s Background and Philosophy:

• Nadeau had a difficult upbringing, including a violently abusive alcoholic father. His father killed himself when Nadeau was 16. Despite this, at 21, he chose his own destiny, becoming a police officer and sergeant in the Durham region outside of Toronto for 30 years.
• His extensive career also included roles as an expert interrogator, criminal detective, international peacekeeper, and instructor.
• Nadeau insists that whatever happens to you does not define you; you define what happens to you. He cites Victor Frankl, noting that how you respond to events is what matters.
• He advocates for changing one's mindset: recognizing that we can "unhostage ourselves" by changing the negative narrative. We must police our thoughts daily and challenge negative prehistoric narratives.
• He sees major changes and setbacks, such as a surprising divorce that occurred just after he retired from policing, as opportunities.
• Nadeau believes that the abuse he suffered was ultimately a "gift" because it challenged him to grow up and become a police officer who went on to save and help people through trauma.

Key Concepts for Listeners:

• Courage: Living a courageous life means living without fear and stepping into various levels of courage (physical, moral, spiritual, social, intellectual). The greatest things lie beyond our fears.
• The Landlord of Your Thoughts: Nadeau uses the metaphor of being a landlord: if you are the landlord of your own thoughts, you can choose which tenants (thoughts) you allow in, kicking out the negative, noisy ones.
• Rejecting Victimhood: He challenges the idea of remaining in a state of victimhood and blaming past actions or abuse for current behavior. He argues that this is a "copout" and that you are not a product of your past, but a product of your present choices.
• The Power of the Present: Nadeau stresses the importance of the present moment, which he calls a "gift". He advises against dwelling in the past ("the poor me hotel") or focusing too much on future plans, instead urging listeners to make the best of this very moment of your life.
• Legacy and Choice: Nadeau’s goal is to leave the world better than he found it by sharing his philosophies and books. He emphasizes the six-letter word "choice". He reminds listeners that "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," but adds that you must take whatever amount of steps you need to take to make that journey a reality.

Analogy: Nadeau's philosophy is like navigating a ship. While you can't control the storms (past events or circumstances), you hold the wheel (your choices) and the map (your mindset), allowing you to actively set your course toward an extraordinary destination, rather than letting the current simply drag you backward into the wreckage of yesterday.