Ever wonder why we bring dying trees into our living rooms and cover them with expensive glass balls? Or how putting open flames on dried-out evergreens seemed like a good idea for centuries?

Join us for a hilarious journey through the history of Christmas decorations, from ancient Romans decking their halls during Saturnalia to modern homeowners engaged in suburban lighting arms races visible from space. We’ll explore how Queen Victoria accidentally launched a multi-billion dollar industry, why glassblowers who made eyeballs pivoted to making ornaments, and how department stores convinced everyone their homes were inadequate.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

- Why ancient pagans thought bringing greenery indoors would save them from winter depression (spoiler: it kind of worked)
- How Christmas trees went from German curiosity to must-have status symbol thanks to one royal Instagram post (before Instagram existed)
- The terrifying era when people decorated trees with literal candles and just hoped for the best
- Why caroling is essentially trick-or-treating but without the candy reward
- The great holiday music debate: November 1st enthusiasts vs. post-Thanksgiving traditionalists vs. complete anarchists who listen to “Jingle Bells” in July
- How we went from handcrafted ornaments to inflatable lawn penguins (who don’t even live near the North Pole, but whatever)

Whether you’re team “tasteful minimalist decor” or team “if the neighbors can’t see it from three blocks away, why bother,” this episode will make you see your Christmas decorations in a whole new light. Literally and figuratively.

Perfect for: History nerds, holiday enthusiasts, people currently untangling lights at 11 PM, anyone who’s ever questioned why we do any of this, and those who just want to feel better about their shopping habits.

🎄 Warning: May cause sudden urges to judge your neighbors’ decoration choices, question the meaning of Christmas, or buy artisanal farm-to-table ornaments.