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In this episode, we talk with Julie Lockhart, a retired academic. During the last years of her career, she led a grief support nonprofit called WinterSpring, where she discovered the beauty and depth of personal stories. There she shared her own experience, which helped grieving people feel less alone.

Julie loves an adventure, especially in wild places.

She spent most of her career in academics, publishing extensively in peer-reviewed journals.

From that, she has embraced writing personal essays about her adventures, life experiences, and grief, sharing insights from what she has learned. Her essays
have been published in the Journal of Wild Culture, Minerva Rising, bioStories, and Feels Blind Literary. Julie is a Pushcart Nominee for her essay, “Worthy,” and a three-time runner-up in the Women on Writing Essay contests.

In our conversation, she discusses the impact of childhood experiences, the loss of her ex-husband, and a miscarriage, on her writing and work. Julie highlights the importance of telling stories and supporting children and teens in their grief. She also emphasizes the need for adults to understand grief and trauma, navigate family dynamics, and create memorials to remember loved ones.

Julie's website: julietales.com (https://julielockhart80.wixsite.com/julietales)
WinterSpring: https://thelearningwell.org/winterspring-grief-support-and-education/
(Since Julie retired, they merged with a nonprofit healthcare organization called La Clinica and are a major component of that organization’s wellness program.)
The Dougy Center: https://www.dougy.org/ This is the leading children’s grief
organization in the country.
Companioning Model from Alan Wolfelt: https://www.centerforloss.com/

And the poem we shared was from Mary Oliver, titled "Heavy"

That time
I thought I could not
go any closer to grief
without dying
I went closer,
and I did not die.
Surely God
had his hand in this,
as well as friends.
Still, I was bent,
and my laughter,
as the poet said,
was nowhere to be found.
Then said my friend Daniel, (brave even among lions),
“It’s not the weight you carry
but how you carry it –
books, bricks, grief –
it’s all in the way
you embrace it, balance it, carry it
Heavy
by Mary Oliver
when you cannot, and would not,
put it down.”
So I went practicing.
Have you noticed?
Have you heard
the laughter
that comes, now and again,
out of my startled mouth?
How I linger
to admire, admire, admire
the things of this world
that are kind, and maybe
also troubled –
roses in the wind,
the sea geese on the steep waves, a love
to which there is no reply?

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Arlene Hoag, a hospice volunteer and co-chairman of the Mountains of Courage conference, shares her experiences and insights on death and dying.

She discusses her early encounters with death, the grief she experienced when a friend passed away, and the importance of communicating with loved ones who have passed.

Arlene also emphasizes the significance of supporting grieving individuals and caring for loved ones with dementia. She shares how a class at a spiritual community camp and a gravestone exercise influenced her perspective on death.

Arlene concludes by discussing her work as a hospice volunteer and her challenges in promoting conversations about death and dying.

In this conversation, Arlene Hoag discusses various aspects of end-of-life care and the importance of community and connection during this time. She shares personal stories and reflections on death, as well as practices for self-resourcefulness.

Arlene also introduces the concept of home funerals and the value of allowing time for grieving.

She mentioned this book - Please Be Patient, I'm Grieving, by Gary Roe, and The Living/Dying Project, as well as a movie they made at the Living/Dying project called Dying Into Love.

At the end she shared this poem by the Sufi mystic, Hafiz called “There is a game we should play.”

There is a wonderful game we should play,
and it goes like this:

We hold hands and look into each other's eyes
and scan each other's face.

Then I say, "Tell me a difference
you see between us. "

And you might respond, "Hafiz, your nose
is ten times bigger than mine!"

Then I would say, "Yes, my dear, almost
ten times!"

But let's keep playing.
Let's go deeper, go deeper.

For if we do, our spirits will embrace
and interweave,

our union will be so glorious
that even God will not be able to tell us apart.

This would be a wonderful game to play.

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In this episode, we speak to Laura Davis, author of The Burning Light of Two Stars, The Courage to Heal, and four other books. In addition to writing books that inspire, the work of Laura’s heart is to teach. For over twenty years, she’s helped people find their voices, tell their stories, and hone their craft. She teaches online and at retreat centers around the world.

She's a featured speaker for The National Association of Memoir Writers and a popular craft teacher at The San Miguel Writer's Conference. In May, Laura will be leading her signature Writing as a Pathway Through Grief, Loss, Uncertainty, and Change retreat at a beautiful retreat center in the Northern California redwoods. You can learn about Laura’s retreats, workshops, and classes, and read the first five chapters of her memoir at www.lauradavis.net.

Writing as a Pathway Retreat - https://lauradavis.net/writing-as-a-pathway/

Laura’s press kit regarding her book, with images, etc.
The Burning Light of Two Stars

We mentioned the Book - The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning

And Laura mentioned The Inner Work of Age: Shifting From Role to Soul by Connie Zweig

The poem we shared was -

Allow
by Donna Fauld

There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt,
containing a tornado. Dam a
stream and it will create a new
channel. Resist, and the tide
will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground. The only
safety lies in letting it all in –
the wild and the weak; fear,
fantasies, failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of
the heart, or sadness veils your
vision with despair, practice
becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your
known way of being, the whole
world is revealed to your new eyes.