This week at the kitchen table, Jo and Stu are back doing what they do best: talking absolute nonsense and somehow making it make sense.

We kick things off by tackling the eternal misery that is January (apparently it’s the 45th… still), complete with Gerald making a return to represent the trudge. There’s also a serious(ish) discussion about glasses, maturity, and whether wearing specs is the only thing keeping things vaguely responsible.

Then things spiral—as they do—into another round of reviewing reviews. From baffling condom reviews that raise more questions than answers, to a bedside table apparently made with paper drawers (paper drawers?!), Jo brings her “creative facts” and Stu tries, valiantly, to ground us in reality.

Elsewhere, we debate what people even call a sat nav these days, get distracted by TV chat, and generally prove once again that leaving us unsupervised at the kitchen table is never a good idea.

If you enjoy husband and wife banter, British podcasts, empty nest life, relatable couples chat, and conversations that go wildly off track but somehow still make sense, you’re in the right place.

🎙️ New episodes every Friday

👍 Like, subscribe, and drop a comment — especially if you’ve ever left (or read) a completely ridiculous 1* review

🪑 Pull up a chair and join us at the kitchen table

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Coming up

00:42 Intro

01:19 Unfair and Hysterical 1* Reviews

11:42 Jo's in trouble for abusing cables

13:19 We have our first troll

13:48 Sebastian update

14:11 Jo disagrees with the Satnav

17:53 Bed problems

19:46 Traitors review

23:25 What we thought of Hijack (spoiler we loved it!)

25:27 We watch some very funny video clips

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Welcome back to the kitchen table! This week, Jo and Stu are navigating the highs and lows of the empty nest—mostly involving high sugar intakes and low-hanging cheese plants.

In this episode:

Plant ER: Meet Sebastian, our magnificent 6-foot cheese plant who has sadly caught "the thrips" (or "thrips," depending on who you ask). We’re doing some serious "thrip rubbing" to save him, but if you have any tips to keep Sebastian from going limp and yellow, please drop them in the comments!.

The Sweary Soften: Jo has officially announced she’s retiring her favourite insult for something more "gentle" she used in her youth. Out with the old, in with "Pillock"— though the transition hasn't been entirely F-bomb free.

Sugar Rehab: Jo comes clean about her rampant sugar addiction. From "therapy chocolate" during trips to Manchester to the "edgy" reality of a chocolate detox while wielding a kitchen knife, things are getting a bit sharp in the kitchen.

Yoga Tears: Why does a session of "downward dogging" with Yoga with Kassandra leave Jo in floods of tears?

Birthday Banter: It’s Stu’s birthday this Sunday! While the nest won't be empty for long as the kids return for a family dinner, the real mystery is the "inappropriate" gift list Stu suggested.

Empty Nest. Full Banter. Zero Filter. New episodes every Friday! Pull up a chair, hit subscribe, and join the chaos. 🪑✨

Are you over 50 and find yourself making "the noise" every time you bend down to pick something up? Let us know your theories on why it’s essential for gripping things!.

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Listen, we’ve all had a rough January, but Stu and Jo are currently navigating a post-Christmas hangover that involves burnt house plants, "moist" traitors, and a deep-dive into the criminal record of the Mr. Men. Jo’s still trying to figure out if a "meme" is a virus or an idea, while Stu is busy dodging nasal drips during "number ones". It’s 17 minutes of two people who have been married for 24 years finally realising they might be the "wrong uns."

Empty Nest. Full Banter. Zero Filter. Hit subscribe now to join the chaos.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 Intro

01:42 The "Double Busy" Incident: Stu’s nasal drip meets gravity.

02:37 Bedding Inferno: Why they’ve been sleeping in separate rooms and burning the evidence.

04:16 January Vibes: A horticultural tragedy involving a metaphorical flamethrower.

05:38 NHS Reality Check: Mum Expected a brass band

06:59 The "Moist" Traitor: Why Steven’s sweatiness is a total giveaway.

07:34 Mr. Tickle’s Cancellation: Rebranding a "wrong un" for 2026.

08:50 Mr. Bump’s Scam: Investigating the impossible accidents of a fictional circle.

09:28 Mr. Daydream & Revisited: What about the school fines.

11:20 Unhinged 1 star review

11:47 Translation Fails

14:45 The AI Dog Dance: Jo's delighted by dancing dogs.

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