The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen cover art

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

By: Heather Hansen
Listen for free

About this listen

 This is the Elegant Warrior Podcast. It's a podcast about elegance and all of its forms. We're talking about our definitions of elegance and how we maintain it in times of trial. We're also talking about how we can advocate for ourselves with elegance and in a way that makes us most likely to win. I'm your host, Heather Hansen, author, speaker, consultant, trainer, and self-advocacy expert. Let's talk Elegance!2020 The Elegant Warrior Economics Personal Development Personal Success
Episodes
  • 355: These 2 Words Help You To Be Understood

    355: These 2 Words Help You To Be Understood
    Mar 2 2026

    In today's episode, Heather shares one of the 12 proven tools for increasing charisma and mastering difficult conversations and it comes down to just two words: it's like.

    While storytelling has dominated the communication world for years, Heather explains why metaphor can be even more powerful. Stories take time. Metaphors create instant clarity. By comparing something unfamiliar to something your audience already understands, you not only become more charismatic, you become unforgettable.

    Through courtroom examples, coaching breakthroughs, and practical exercises, Heather shows how metaphor builds connection, increases inspiration, and helps you avoid the number one fear in communication: being misunderstood.

    If you want to feel more confident, persuasive, and impactful in negotiations, feedback conversations, presentations, or high-stakes moments, this episode gives you a tool you can use immediately.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    • Why Metaphor Beats Storytelling in Many Situations
      How stories require time and structure, but metaphors create immediate understanding.

    • The Two Words That Increase Charisma
      Why saying "it's like" instantly makes your message clearer and more compelling.

    • How Metaphor Prevents Misunderstanding
      Why comparing the unknown to the known helps your audience grasp complex ideas quickly.

    • A Courtroom Example That Changed Everything
      How a surgeon compared knee cartilage to tire tread and helped a jury truly understand.

    • The Coaching Breakthrough
      Why cleaning cabinets instead of floors perfectly illustrated client expectations and created an aha moment.

    • Two Simple Questions to Generate Metaphors
      How asking "What's it like?" or "How is it like something my audience understands?" unlocks powerful comparisons.

    • Cultural Awareness in Communication
      Why metaphors only work when your audience shares the reference point.

    • Why Metaphors Make You Memorable
      How concise comparisons stick longer than long stories.

    In this episode:

    [00:00] Why communication tools create real excitement

    [01:24] The 12 proven charisma tools and where metaphor fits

    [03:00] The power of "it's like"

    [04:00] Simple examples of everyday metaphors

    [06:07] The surgeon who explained knees like tire tread

    [08:32] The cleaning floors versus cabinets breakthrough

    [10:50] Two practical ways to create metaphors

    [12:00] Cultural awareness and testing your comparisons

    [13:30] Why metaphor is more memorable than story

    [15:17] Preview of next week's charisma tool

    Resources and Links:

    📘 Book: I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like

    A playful collection of metaphors to help you see comparisons everywhere and strengthen your communication.

    Connect with Heather:

    • Schedule a call with Heather

    • Follow Heather on Instagram

    • Follow Heather on Facebook

    • Connect with Heather on LinkedIn

    • Website

    • Watch Episodes on Youtube

    • Heather's TikTok ‍

    • heather@elegantwarrior.com



    The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
    Show More Show Less
    16 mins
  • 354: One Sentence to Help You Face Difficult Conversations

    354: One Sentence to Help You Face Difficult Conversations
    Feb 16 2026

    In today's episode, Heather shares the one sentence that will get you to show up for high-stake conversations, even when you absolutely don't want to. While mindset and emotional management are powerful, some conversations - like receiving tough feedback or facing a dreaded interview - can't be thought or felt out of. Sometimes, the only answer is a simple mantra: Do it anyway.

    Drawing from her diverse background as a trial attorney, psychology major, and certified hypnotist, Heather explains why acting in spite of dread is the ultimate secret sauce to communication. This episode is a deep dive into the power of evidence and why "doing it anyway" is a win for your personal growth, regardless of the conversation's outcome.

    Together, we explore how to collect and create evidence that supports your dreams and how to prove to yourself that you are capable of far more than your feelings suggest.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    • The Power of "Do It Anyway": Why this simple sentence is the key to breaking through the avoidance of difficult conversations.

    • The Evidence Secret Sauce: How collecting and creating evidence makes you more persuasive, influential, and charismatic.

    • Evidence You Can Do Hard Things: How pushing through a dreaded talk provides lasting proof of your own resilience.

    • Why Feelings Aren't Fatal: A reminder that emotions like embarrassment, fear, or boredom are survivable and don't have to dictate your actions.

    • The Trap of the "Soft Life": Why letting your feelings hold you back can prevent you from achieving your goals in 2026.

    • Dismantling the "Difficult" Myth: How doing the hard thing often reveals that the conversation wasn't as difficult as you imagined.

    In this episode:

    00:00 Welcome & Introduction to High-Stakes Conversations

    02:10 Episode Theme: The Mantra "Do It Anyway"

    03:55 The Role of Evidence in Personal Growth

    05:00 Evidence #1: You Can Do Hard Things

    03:26 Evidence #2: Feelings Aren't Fatal

    10:01 Evidence #3: It Might Not Be That Hard

    11:33 Tool for Today: Use Evidence to Support Your Dreams

    12:24 Preview of next week's episode

    Resources and Links:

    📘 Book: Advocate to Win by Heather Hansen – Master the tools of a trial lawyer to advocate for your own goals and dreams.

    🎧Podcast Interview: How Heather uses the Evidence Journal to build self-belief

    🎥Cindy Brady Freezes on Live Television Heather uses this as an example of how "feelings aren't fatal"-even intense embarrassment like Cindy's can be survived.

    Connect with Heather:

    • Schedule a call with Heather

    • Follow Heather on Instagram

    • Follow Heather on Facebook

    • Connect with Heather on LinkedIn

    • Website

    • Watch Episodes on Youtube

    • Heather's TikTok ‍

    • heather@elegantwarrior.com



    The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
    Show More Show Less
    13 mins
  • 353: 3 Ways to Manage Your Emotions for High-Stakes Conversations

    353: 3 Ways to Manage Your Emotions for High-Stakes Conversations
    Feb 9 2026
    Ever feel your heart race or your voice shake the moment you need to ask for a raise, set a boundary, or give tough feedback? High-stakes conversations don't have to be high-stress battles. In this episode, communication expert Heather shares three powerful tools to help you master your emotions and handle "difficult" conversations with clarity and calm. You'll learn how to shift your mindset from "combat" to "collaboration" using the BEAR technique - understanding how your beliefs lead to your energy, actions, and results. Heather breaks down how to stop viewing others as enemies and how to use a simple linguistic trick used by top athletes to stay objective under pressure. Whether you are navigating workplace confidence or strengthening personal relationships, these tools will help you advocate for yourself with charisma and ease. ✨ In this video, you'll learn how to: Define what advocating really means. Break down your goals into actionable, strategic steps. Overcome fear and guilt about wanting more at work. Identify the right people to ask for opportunities or resources. Strengthen your confidence by following through on your commitments. 💡 Heather introduces three core tools you can use immediately: Persuade yourself to believe something different: Use the "ladder of beliefs" to shift from fear to opportunity without gaslighting yourself. Be A.G.I.L.E.: Learn to "Assume Good Intentions, Love Everyone" to change your energy and get better results. Practice Illeism: Use the psychological power of speaking about yourself in the third person to remove emotional triggers. 🕒 Chapters: 00:00 Introduction: Handling emotions in high-stakes conversations 01:23 The BEAR framework: beliefs, energy, actions, results 02:00 Tool #1: Persuade yourself to believe something different 03:05 Using a ladder of beliefs (without gaslighting yourself) 04:18 Collecting vs. creating evidence for new beliefs 05:31 Tool #2: Be agile - assume good intentions, love everyone 06:28 Seeing others as teammates, not enemies 09:39 Tool #3: Illeism - speaking about yourself in the third person 12:08 Recap: the three tools for emotional control 13:08 What's coming next + listener invitation 📝Related Resources: 📘 Book: Advocate to Win by Heather Hansen https://www.amazon.com/Advocate-Win-Tools-What-Want/dp/1642936634 🧠 Book: Chatter by Ethan Kross https://www.amazon.com/Chatter-Voice-Head-Matters-Harness/dp/0525575235 📗Book: Shift: Managing Your Emotions--So They Don't Manage You by Ethan Kross https://www.amazon.com/Shift-Managing-Your-Emotions-So-Manage/dp/B0D5YZ42FL/ 💬 Join the Conversation: Which of these three tools do you need most for your next big meeting? Let us know in the comments! 👍 If this video helped you: Like it to support the channel Subscribe for more communication tips and high-stakes conversation strategies Share it with a friend who is preparing for a difficult talk SEO Keywords: self advocacy at work, communication skills, workplace confidence, how to speak up at work, career growth, advocate for yourself, difficult conversations, negotiation skills, personal development, Heather Hansen, Elegant Warrior Podcast. Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather https://www.beliefbuilders.com/contact Follow Heather on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/anelegantwarrior/ Website https://www.beliefbuilders.com/ Watch Episodes on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@Beliefbuildersacademy Heather's TikTok ‍https://www.tiktok.com/@theelegantwarrior?_t=8oq50EMkKPG&_r=1 heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
    Show More Show Less
    16 mins
No reviews yet
In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.