The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen cover art

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

By: Heather Hansen
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 This is the Elegant Warrior Podcast. It's a podcast about elegance and all of its forms. We're talking about our definitions of elegance and how we maintain it in times of trial. We're also talking about how we can advocate for ourselves with elegance and in a way that makes us most likely to win. I'm your host, Heather Hansen, author, speaker, consultant, trainer, and self-advocacy expert. Let's talk Elegance!2020 The Elegant Warrior Economics Personal Development Personal Success
Episodes
  • 329: Stop Taking Communication Advice from Men

    329: Stop Taking Communication Advice from Men
    Aug 7 2025
    In this fiery and insightful episode, Heather Hansen takes a bold stand against one-size-fits-all communication advice — especially the kind coming from male experts that simply doesn't work for women. With decades of experience in advocacy, law, and coaching, Heather breaks down why advice from well-meaning male voices like Jefferson Fisher and Vin Gang may actually backfire for women in real-life situations, especially when it comes to being interrupted, advocating for yourself, or commanding authority. She offers a powerful alternative: learn how to advocate the way that actually works for you. With stories from her courtroom days, coaching practice, and research-backed insight, Heather shows women how to stop trying to “man up” their voice and instead lean into proven techniques designed for how women are actually perceived — and how we naturally communicate. If you’ve ever followed advice that left you feeling ignored, labeled as “too much,” or just plain ineffective, this episode is your permission slip to do things differently. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why “great advice” often fails women — and how to know if it’s not for you The difference between communication and advocacy (and why you must master both) What research says about women being interrupted — and why standard advice can make it worse How women are judged differently for the same behaviors as men — and what to do about it Why avoiding conflict OR mimicking male assertiveness both backfire The proven tools that help women advocate effectively, without being labeled abrasive or bossy Why Heather’s courtroom experience taught her to prepare men and women differently — and how you can apply that in everyday life Resources Mentioned: 📚 The Elegant Warrior by Heather Hansen📖 The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher🎧 Jay Shetty’s podcast interview with Vin Gang📊 The recent study on how women CEOs are labeled Bonus Announcement: 🎓 FREE Masterclass: How to Handle Interruptions (and Be Heard) Without Being Dismissed 🗓️ August 13 at 3 PM ET ➡️ Can’t join live? Sign up to get the replay. 🎁 But if you can make it live, there’s a special surprise just for you! 🔗 [Register here] In this episode: [00:00] Heather sets the tone: Why she’s tired of advice that doesn’t work for women [01:45] Communication vs. advocacy — how they’re different and why it matters [03:10] Why following male experts left Heather confused and frustrated [05:00] The two critical questions to ask before following anyone’s advice [05:30] The case of Jefferson Fisher: great communicator, but his advice may not fit [07:50] Why women’s voices and presence are systemically dismissed [10:00] Research reveals the biases women face when speaking up [12:30] Why “too much” isn’t always powerful — and what actually gets results [14:00] How to know your audience (or “jury”) before you speak [15:00] The feminine communication edge — and how to use it strategically [16:30] Heather’s courtroom wisdom: train men and women differently for better results [17:15] A call to action: Get the tools to speak effectively and get what you want “You have to speak for your ideas, your potential, and your worth — because they can’t speak for themselves.” – Heather Hansen Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather’s TikTok ‍ heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
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    19 mins
  • 328: Illness, Pain and Advocating for Yourself

    328: Illness, Pain and Advocating for Yourself
    Jul 30 2025
    In this powerful episode, Heather responds to a heartfelt question from listener Natalie, who is navigating life with a chronic illness that others often misunderstand. Natalie asks how to advocate for herself without sounding like she’s complaining — a question that resonates with so many living with invisible pain. Through personal stories, insights from neuroscience and psychology, and actionable steps, Heather teaches how to communicate your needs clearly, choose the right audience for your vulnerability, and advocate for yourself with both strength and grace. Whether you're facing chronic illness, emotional pain, or just want to show up better for yourself, this episode will leave you feeling seen, supported, and empowered. In this episode, you’ll learn: The First Question to Ask: Before speaking up, Heather shares the key question you must ask yourself: What do I actually want from this person? Why Hinting Doesn’t Work: Learn how vague expressions of pain don’t lead to help, and how to turn your situation into a clear request. The Energy of the Ask: How asking with delight (or conviction) radically changes how others respond to your needs. When to Stay Silent: Why talking about your pain can sometimes make things worse and how to choose when to share, and when to journal instead. The Power of JournalSpeak: Discover how Heather used Nicole Sachs’ “JournalSpeak” method to reduce physical pain and emotional overload during a crisis. Why Misunderstandings Hurt and What To Do About Them: Heather explains when to advocate for deeper understanding and when to let people think what they want. Healing Through Expression: The science behind why venting to people can increase pain, but venting in a journal can actually ease it. How to Prepare Yourself to Advocate Even When You’re Not at Your Best: Practical tools to reclaim energy, reset your mindset, and step into confident advocacy. Resources Mentioned: 📚 All of Ethan Kross’ Work✍️ All of Nicole Sachs’ Work & JournalSpeak Resources 🎧 Nicole Sachs’ Podcast: The Cure for Chronic Pain with Nicole Sachs, LCSW Bonus Announcement: 📅 Heather's FREE Masterclass – How to Handle Interruptions and Being Ignored 🗓️ August 13 at 3 PM ET ➡️ Learn how to respond to interruptions with confidence and charisma 🎁 We will send you a recording if you can’t make it live. But there is a special surprise if you make it live! 🔗 Register here In this episode: [00:00] Listener Natalie’s question: The struggle of invisible illness and being misunderstood [01:45] Heather’s personal story: Migraines, functionality, and feeling "off" [03:50] What do you really want? Sympathy, understanding, or help? [06:00] The golden rule of advocacy: Ask clearly, ask with delight [08:30] When not to share your pain, and why complaining can backfire [10:50] Journaling vs venting: Research-backed ways to process emotions [12:50] The story of Heather’s father, her grief, and how she discovered JournalSpeak [14:30] JournalSpeak and emotional pain: The power of writing what you can’t say [16:00] Advocating through pain: How journaling clears the way for charisma [17:00] Misunderstood? Why sometimes it’s worth correcting, sometimes it’s not [18:10] Heather’s 3-step framework for self-advocacy while in pain [19:00] Final thoughts: Vulnerability, visibility, and strength in the face of suffering Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather’s TikTok ‍ heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
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    19 mins
  • 327: The Science of Charisma with Dr John Antonakis

    327: The Science of Charisma with Dr John Antonakis
    Jul 24 2025
    In this engaging conversation, Heather Hansen speaks with Dr. John Antonakis, a leading expert on the science of charisma. They explore the definition of charisma, its importance in leadership and influence, and how it can be learned. Dr. Antonakis shares insights from his research, including studies on the impact of charisma on performance and the role of cognitive empathy in effective communication. The discussion also touches on the potential influence of AI on charisma and the importance of genuine human connection in leadership. In this research-packed episode, you'll learn: Introduction to the Science of Charisma – Heather and Dr. John Antonakis open with a deep dive into what charisma truly is—not charm or confidence, but a learnable skill grounded in peer-reviewed science. Charisma's Measurable Impact on Performance – They explore powerful studies—including one with a robot—showing how charismatic speech alone can increase workplace performance by up to 17%. The Building Blocks of Charisma – John introduces his framework: symbols, values, and emotions, and explains how these components combine to create influence that inspires action, not just applause. The Power of Metaphor and Framing – Heather and John discuss how storytelling, metaphor, contrast, rhetorical questions, and the “rule of three” work together to create speeches that stick. Cognitive vs. Affective Empathy – The duo breaks down why cognitive empathy (understanding how others think) matters more in leadership than feeling what others feel—and why that distinction is critical for decision-making. The Myths About Body Language – John challenges the popular belief that charisma is mostly non-verbal, presenting evidence that words drive behavior far more than gestures or facial expressions. Charisma as an Equalizer – They unpack how charismatic speech can neutralize biases based on attractiveness, race, and gender, offering hope for more equitable influence in politics, business, and beyond. Artificial Intelligence and Charisma – Can AI replicate charisma? Heather and John explore the limitations of using AI to craft influence—and why doing the reps yourself still matters most. Practical Tools for Everyday Leaders – Whether you’re a parent, teacher, executive, or coach, you'll walk away with actionable techniques to become more charismatic and persuasive—based on science, not guesswork. Resources & Links: 🔗 Harvard Business Review Article – Learning Charisma 🎥 Dr. Antonakis’ TEDx Talk – Let’s Face It, Charisma Matters 📰 Newsweek Article – Dog Predicts 2024 Presidential Election Bonus Announcement: 📅 Heather's FREE Masterclass – How to Handle Being Interrupted 🗓️ August 13 at 3 PM ET ➡️ Learn how to respond to interruptions with confidence and charisma 🎁 Attend live to receive a free checklist giveaway 🔗 Register here In this episode: [00:00] Introduction to Dr. John Antonakis [03:45] Understanding Charisma's Impact [16:33] The Mechanics of Charisma [21:10] The Components of Charisma [36:53] The Role of AI in Charisma [45:43] Conclusion and Resources Connect with Heather: Register for the 8/7 training on How to Manage Interruptions here Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather’s TikTok ‍ heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
    Show More Show Less
    47 mins
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