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A positive pregnancy test felt like the start of a familiar story—until Alison Beder Soloway couldn’t breathe at 32 weeks and doctors discovered heart failure linked to HHT. That moment rewrote everything. She was told carrying again would be too dangerous, and the road to the family she imagined would have to bend. What followed was a years-long relay of nine IVF attempts, cross‑border laws, agency vetting, and the kind of paperwork that decides names on birth certificates. Along the way, Alison discovered that a marathon mindset—steady effort, smart pacing, and a refusal to quit—could carry her through fertility’s longest miles.

We dive into the real costs and hidden tolls of IVF, the physical pain of retrievals, and the emotional whiplash of waiting for calls that change your life. Alison explains how clinics differ more than their marketing, why switching doctors can be an act of courage, and how to spot red flags when choosing a gestational carrier. She shares the moment bonding overruled doubt as she watched her son take his first breaths, then traces the beautiful complexity of welcoming twins from the same embryo cohort—“triplets,” born a year and a half apart. Together we unpack stigma around surrogacy, the myths about fraternal twins, and the fierce autonomy families deserve when deciding how to bring children into the world.

As a fitness professional serving women 40+, Alison also breaks down why strength training is essential for bone health, metabolism, and aging well—especially for anyone using weight-loss medications that can accelerate muscle loss. Her take is practical and compassionate: advocate for yourself, ask better questions, partner with your care team, and choose hope on purpose. If your body says no, your resolve—and your plan—can still say go.

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Ever watched a baby rock on all fours and wondered whether to cheer or worry? We sit down with pediatric physical therapist Dr. Allison Mell—founder of Tots on Target and mom of four, including twins—to unpack the first 18 months with rare clarity. Allison explains what those “windows” for rolling, sitting, crawling, and walking really tell us, how to use corrected age for preemies, and where “wait and see” becomes a roadblock. She shares a practical test most parents can spot at home: steady progress and quality of movement. If your baby is trending forward with planks, rocking, and symmetrical effort, patience is a plan. If they’re stuck, favoring one side, or plateaued for weeks, a few targeted exercises can change everything.

Crawling takes center stage—but not as a box to check. Allison reveals why it’s the last big dose of upper-body weight-bearing before school, how it feeds shoulder and core strength for writing and self-dressing, and why it supercharges sensory systems (proprioception and vestibular), bilateral coordination, and crossing midline. Those invisible wins show up later in reading fluency, sports, biking, and monkey bars. We also get real about twins and comparisons, intrauterine tightness, reflux and oral ties, and the small stretches and routines that can turn a “content sitter” into an eager explorer. For older kids who skipped crawling, she offers playful strength builders to boost endurance without shame.

Beyond milestones, Allison opens up about survival with newborn twins, the decision to hire night help, and the honest work of protecting a marriage when everyone is exhausted. We dive into risky play within boundaries, coaching language that builds problem-solving (“Sometimes it helps if…”), and why giving kids space to try is a shortcut to self-trust. The theme that runs through it all: you know your child best. If a dismissive “it’s normal” doesn’t sit right, keep asking. You’re not chasing perfection—you’re laying a foundation for a body and brain that feel at home in motion.

If this conversation gave you clarity or courage, follow the show, share it with a friend who’s in the milestone maze, and leave a quick review—what’s one tip you’re trying this week?

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This episode starts with a simple truth few people say out loud: sometimes the first chapter of parenthood is grief. Lia Higgins joins us to unpack an early miscarriage at 28, the shock of a postpartum hemorrhage, and the quiet ways trauma can delay bonding without diminishing love. From there, we zoom out: what happens when a high-achieving identity built in Big Law collides with a life you actually want to live? Lia talks candidly about trading titles for alignment, why a “soft landing” back from leave turned into a firestorm, and how prestige can masquerade as purpose until you call its bluff.

We also get practical about the myth of “having it all.” Corporate policies help, but not nearly enough when the village has vanished, childcare is fragile, and mental load still defaults to moms. Lia breaks down the limits of outsourcing, the emotional labor no app can automate, and the social cost of saying “I need help.” She chooses transparency over performance: yes, she has a full-time nanny she loves; no, she’s not doing it all alone; and yes, childcare should be a baseline, not a brag. That honesty dissolves comparison and reframes the real question: what support would let more families breathe?

Along the way, we talk community, isolation in self-employment, and the strange mix of freedom and loneliness that comes with flexible work. We close with two anchors: advice for a newly pregnant friend—you don’t have to enjoy every second to be a good mother—and the unexpected joy of watching a partner become a parent. It’s a conversation about loss and agency, ambition and care, and the messy, ordinary beauty of building a life that actually fits.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs some honesty, and leave a quick review—your words help more parents find their people.

Support the show

Website: https://www.doyouwantthetruthpod.com

Connect with Sam:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/samanthastrom

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@samanthastorms

Connect with Zara:

Zara Hanawalt https://www.linkedin.com/in/zara-hanawalt/

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@zarahanawalt

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/zarahanawalt/