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Divorce Matters

Divorce Matters

By: Michael Alexander and Mark Fidelman
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 Welcome to the Divorce Matters Podcast, where we give unfiltered, unadulterated guidance for how to survive family courts. We will give you no-nonsense, straight forward strategies for beating the system. We guarantee you won’t hear this advice anywhere else. A reminder that we are not attorneys and this is not legal advice. However, we’ll help you more than any attorney ever will. Parenting & Families Relationships
Episodes
  • One Attorney's Battle for Her Children as she Fights the Corrupt Family Court

    One Attorney's Battle for Her Children as she Fights the Corrupt Family Court
    Oct 3 2025
    Mark Fidelman, and an anonymous guest (referred to as "Brenda") Key Highlights: Guest is an attorney and business owner in San Diego Divorced since 2016 with three children (19, 17, and 15) Experienced significant challenges with the family court system Major Topics: Child Welfare Services (CWS) Ineffective and toxic handling of child protection cases Multiple reports of child abuse were largely ignored Divorce and Custody Challenges Initially had 70% physical custody Ex-husband had history of corporal punishment and verbal abuse Mediator recommended reducing custody to 50/50 without substantial justification Legal Strategies Filed a contempt action against ex-husband for hitting children Creative custody arrangement to maintain primary care Used MyTalkingParents for communication documentation Key Advice: Avoid family court if possible Ensure detailed divorce agreements with specific clauses Focus on children's well-being and safety Unconditional love from one parent can overcome challenging family dynamics Action Items: Include no corporal punishment clause in divorce agreements Be specific about extracurricular activity cost-sharing Document all communications Prioritize children's emotional and physical safety Systemic Criticisms: Family court system is potentially corrupt Judges often rubber-stamp mediator recommendations Judicial immunity protects problematic judicial behavior Conclusion: The guest emphasized that "winning in life" matters more than winning in court, and maintaining unconditional love for children is paramount.
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    48 mins
  • How to Reverse Parental Alienation Without Court Intervention

    How to Reverse Parental Alienation Without Court Intervention
    May 18 2024
    Ginger Gentile. I'm the Erase child whisperer and I discuss parental alienation Mark Fidelman and Ginger discussed strategies for dealing with parental alienation, including understanding love languages and acknowledging past trauma. Ginger shared her personal experience of estrangement from their father and the impact it had on their life. The group also discussed the prevalence of narcissistic abuse and alienation in divorce cases, emphasizing the importance of identifying narcissistic traits early on and taking steps to protect oneself. Ginger also highlighted the importance of learning how to communicate effectively with high conflict people in personal and professional settings, including identifying triggers, healing inner child wounds, and developing a new skill set for communicating with empathy, firmness, and informativeness. Outline Parental alienation and high conflict divorce with a personal story. Ginger Gentile shares her experience with parental alienation and high conflict divorce. Speaker estranged from father after parents' divorce and subsequent parental alienation. Intergenerational trauma and alienation in families. Ginger revealed that their parents had 50/50 custody, but their mother accused their father of domestic violence and sought more child support. Ginger believes that their parents' behavior was informed by their own love languages, with abuse being one of them. Reconciling with estranged parents can be challenging, but it's possible with effort and support. Parental alienation and its impact on children. Ginger reflects on their parents' divorce and alienation, recognizing the nuanced complexity of the situation. Ginger made a film about parental alienation, realizing it was about their own life after hanging up on their dad multiple times during filmmaking. Ginger researched the topic by talking to parents and kids, including those on social media, to understand the impact of alienation on families. Parental alienation documentary and its impact on kids. Ginger raised half a million dollars for their documentary by changing their fundraising pitch from "thank you for coming" to "give me money or the film won't happen and you'll never see your kids again." Mark Fidelman and Ginger agree that the documentary has raised awareness about parental alienation and its impact on children. They suggest strategically showing the film to judges, lawyers, and psychologists to bring about change. How to reconnect with alienated children without court involvement. Ginger jokes about doing anything to see their kids, including hosting a free screening of a film in a library, but acknowledges that parents who are serious about reunification may not be willing to take such actions. Ginger and Mark Fidelman discuss the challenges of getting back into a child's life when the child has been alienated by a parent, with Ginger emphasizing the importance of taking a proactive approach to reunification. Ginger worked with a father to approach a court case non-confrontationally, resulting in overnights with his daughter without going to court. Ginger helped the father see an opportunity to connect with his daughter instead of viewing it as a right, leading to a peaceful resolution. Strategies for dealing with parental alienation in court. Mark Fidelman suggests detaching from the alienator's reactions and using new communication methods to address the issue. Ginger advises parents to act quickly if they suspect alienation, as courts can take years to resolve the issue. Ginger warns that lawyers may give false odds of winning, and some outcomes may be impossible to achieve in family court. Strategies for coping with alienation in children. Ginger suggests that instead of trying to change the alienator, parents should focus on changing their own behavior to stop the alienation. The speaker advises parents to use sweet talking and attention-seeking tactics to manipulate the alienator into changing their behavior. Ginger helps parents who are alienated from their children by teaching them how to communicate effectively and rebuild their relationships. Ginger's approach involves understanding the root cause of the alienation, letting go of anger and trauma, and learning how to message and communicate clearly. How to identify and avoid narcissistic partners in relationships. Mark Fidelman expresses frustration with family court system and its handling of parental alienation. Ginger advises against marrying someone who is likely to alienate you due to their narcissistic tendencies. Heal inner child, identify triggers, and develop communication skills to prevent alienation. Learn to communicate with high conflict people using friendly, firm, and informative language. Parental alienation and how to reunite with alienated kids. Speaker provides free resources, including a film and training course, to help parents reunite with their alienated kids. ...
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    41 mins
  • David Segui's Nightmare with Family Court and Family Bridges

    David Segui's Nightmare with Family Court and Family Bridges
    May 13 2024
    David Segui, Former MLB baseball player, discusses his nightmare with the family courts and family bridges David Segui discussed the challenges and misconceptions surrounding family court, particularly in cases of alleged child abuse, and the need for a different approach to better protect children. They also shared personal experiences and ongoing legal cases, highlighting the financial drain and manipulation of the system, and the importance of holding individuals accountable for their actions. The conversation concluded with a commitment to stop a certain issue from escalating and a pledge to remove judicial immunity, particularly in cases of flagrant lawbreaking. Sponsored by KidsMatter.charity We Give kids A Voice in Court Podcast Summary Family Court Misconceptions and Reform Mark and David Segui discussed the misconceptions and issues surrounding family court, particularly in cases of alleged child abuse. They argued that the current system often does more harm than good, with the industry's main goal being to reunify the child with the abusive parent, rather than protecting the child. The discussion highlighted the need for a different approach and better support for children who have experienced abuse. Family Law, Child Custody, and Advocacy Mark and an anonymous David Segui discussed issues related to family law, with a focus on child custody and parental alienation. They discussed the challenges faced by families without financial means, and how the legal system can exacerbate existing problems. The conversation touched on the perception of power dynamics in family court, and the lack of understanding among the general public regarding the daily realities of those going through a divorce. Mark announced his return to advocacy work for children's rights, signaling a renewed commitment to the cause. Discussing Abuse in Family Court System Mark and David Sege discussed the challenges faced by victims of abuse in the Family Court system. David, a former Major League Baseball player, introduced himself as a father involved in a Family Court case after escaping an abusive household environment. He shared how the court system operates through coercion and control, similar to abusive relationships, threatening consequences like losing child custody or facing sanctions for speaking out or reporting abuse. David mentioned guiding other "Momma Bears" through the process of reporting abuse while navigating the court system's challenges. Navigating Family Court Challenges and Strategies The speakers discussed the challenges and strategies involved in navigating the family court system. They recognized that the system can be exploitative and compared it to a game, where certain parties have an advantage. David expressed concern about the financial drain that the system can cause and the difficulty in getting out of it once involved. They also discussed the need to remove judicial immunity to facilitate exit. The conversation then shifted to specific cases, with the speaker indicating that they would continue the discussion in this area. Child Alienation Case and Custody Dispute The attorneys agreed on proceeding with the case, which involves allegations of child alienation. The main speaker described a situation where their children were taken away due to an emergency order, despite the children being found to be in good health and happy in California. The speaker claimed their ex-partner made false allegations of abuse and used threats to maintain control over the children. The case has been ongoing for over three months, and the speaker is seeking to regain custody of their children. False Allegations and Child Abuse Discussion The discussion centered around allegations of abuse made by David's sons against their mother and her boyfriend, who was a former teammate of David's. The boys had reported these allegations after attending religious camps. David claimed that the mother had made false allegations against him, and was given custody of his children by the court despite evidence of her wrongdoing. David and his sons were left to deal with the aftermath of these false allegations and abuse. Discussing Child Welfare Camps and Lying to the Court David and Mark discussed the negative effects of withholding information and lying to the court, and the importance of taking an offensive stance against those who abuse the system. They also talked about the issue of child welfare camps, with Arizona and California being mentioned as states that have implemented them. The conversation indicated a growing momentum against these camps, with several states having already banned them. Then Mark and David also highlighted the brazenness and arrogance of those running these camps, expressing their belief that the truth will ultimately prevail. Accountability, Parental Alienation, and Abuse Reports Mark proposed a plan to make individuals accountable for their actions...
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    31 mins
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