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Not everything is an anxiety disorder, but people pleasing and low self-esteem feed into it constantly. This week we talk about why the two overlap so heavily, and why learning to desensitize almost always requires putting yourself first, which can feel like the least safe thing in the world if pleasing people is how you've kept yourself safe.

We get into what people pleasing actually looks like, from constant scanning of other people's moods to guilt as a baseline feeling, why it's usually a learned response rather than a personality trait, and why exposure work doesn't work without some baseline self-acceptance. We also talk about why the values underneath people pleasing, kindness, cooperation, and community, aren't the problem. It's when they become the only way you're allowed to exist.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including six flights taken through a lifelong fear of flying.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

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Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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This week we go through the most common mistakes people make while trying to recover from anxiety disorders, the ones that feel intuitive in the moment but end up keeping the cycle going.

We cover minimizing your own wins, thinking a place or situation is the actual exposure instead of the feeling underneath it, overestimating anxiety's importance while underestimating your own ability to handle it, and treating a thought that feels true as if it is true. We also talk about why trying to prevent the bad thing from happening during exposure defeats the purpose, why crediting safety behaviors instead of yourself keeps you stuck, and why arguing with anxious thoughts or trying to think your way out of anxiety almost never works.

Plus Did It Anyway wins from Canada, Sweden, and Turkey, including one that involves scuba diving.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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Is distraction the same thing as running from your feelings? This week we answer a listener question about where that line actually is, and why the answer isn't as simple as always sit with it.

We talk about why attention plays such a big role in anxiety disorders, why getting caught up in your life is not automatically avoidance, and why the real question isn't am I distracting myself but what am I actually running from. We also get into why every emotion, not just anxiety, deserves room, and why treating fear as the only feeling that matters can quietly shut down curiosity about everything else you feel.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including a tattoo appointment survived and a listener who fell asleep during a 90 minute MRI.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.