Listen up maggots, because it's time for a pop quiz! What exactly makes Hilary Duff the Goku of this film? Who makes the Iceman cometh? Which Dunce is definitely going to prison after this one? If you don’t know the answers, be grateful that this quiz is open-podcast. Military school is back in session and hamboning is on the menu! It’s the Disney Channel Original Movie, Cadet Kelly!

Later idiots!

Ладно, да, наверное, это обман, когда я просто перевожу это описание на другой язык, когда серия слишком непонятна. А если серьезно, они только что сделали E.T. Инопланетянин, но поменял местами монстров и добавил сюжет о том, как Патрик Стар трахает мать ребенка. Это менее увлекательно, чем российская заправка Disney’s Under Wraps!

You think Pixar made a world of justified racism just to appease the “Don’t Say Gay” crowd? Naaaaah. Well, maybe. It’s someone's wet dream that’s for sure. Disney’s Pixar’s Elemental.

If you've ever thought to yourself, "Boy, I could sure use a Disney podcast with a splash of pirate anime and a whole mess of discussion that borders on homoeroticism," then son, do I have the episode for you. If you'd rather learn about the film in the title, I don't know, try googling it? It's one big lie, and you know it: Disney's 20th Century Fox's 'The Greatest Showman!'

Ruh roh, Raggy! Looks like this podcast has been shanghai’d by a group of salty sea dogs who want nothing to do with this week's movie! Which is to say, spoiler warning for the first 30 episodes of One Piece! Sure it’s less than 3% of the show so far and came out 15 years ago, but still, rules are rules. It’s not offensive to say shanghai’d is it? It's Disney’s Direct to DVD, The Lion King 1 ½!

So if I remember correctly this episode's talking points include the podcast's expiration date, the importance of resistance training, and Kashi has a cereal that makes you poop. Oh, and probably the dangers of being horny given the source material, but also probably not. It’s fun for the whole family, Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame!

You know it’s hard to discuss a film that's just packed with so much subtle symbolism. It’s just one of those things you should probably see for yourself as trying to describe the full experience is near impossible. So this week go watch the movie, and then come back and listen to people yell about Twitter and call it a day. It’s got a lynching scene some would argue, Holes!