What is it really like to navigate the "whitest city in America" as a Black woman? Host Leigh LaRie and guest co-host Charlisa "Chadowboxx" Harris sit down with the vibrant Alexis McKinney—better known as Lex in the City—to discuss the reality of being Black and bougie in Portland, Oregon.

Alexis, a Milwaukee native and professional content creator, shares her journey of moving to the PNW for work and the "culture shock" that came with it—not because she wasn't used to diversity, but because she was used to Black excellence being the norm. From experiencing microaggressions at a Jesuit college to navigating the "transplant bubble," Alexis gets real about the elitism that exists within the local community and why "where the Black people at?" is a lazy question.

They dive deep into the Portland dating scene, the "resentment spirit" in ambitious relationships, and why Alexis isn't afraid to shoot her shot. Plus, stay tuned as Alexis curates the ultimate Portland guide, sharing her favorite "Black & Bougie" spots, the best hiking trails, and why following DJs is better than following venues.

Whether you're a Portland native or a new transplant, this episode is a masterclass in building community, maintaining boundaries, and living your best "Black Girl Magic" life in the Rose City.

• [00:00] Intro: Welcome to Episode 6 – Black & Bougie in Portland
• [01:10] The Small Community Reality: Understanding Portland’s 6% Black population
• [02:55] Meet Alexis McKinney: The "Lex in the City" Origin Story
• [04:20] Milwaukee vs. Portland: Growing up in one of America's most segregated cities
• [05:40] The Awakening: Dealing with microaggressions at a PWI
• [07:15] Blackness is not a Monolith: From Anime nerds to Creative musicians
• [09:20] Spike Lee and Cinematography: Leigh’s high school awakening
• [11:00] The "Transplant Bubble": The Class of 2017-2019 Yearbooks
• [12:30] Swiping for Friends: Using apps to build community pre-pandemic
• [14:15] Pivot to Curation: Throwing events for Black women in Washington County
• [16:15] Defensive Natives: Why transplants should stop complaining about their new city
• [18:15] Regional Segregation: Why you only see Black people on the North Side
• [19:15] The Soul Food Debate: Why restaurant soul food rarely hits like Sunday dinner
• [21:00] The Mediocrity Trap: Professionalism and feedback in Black-owned businesses
• [23:15] Following the DJ: How to find your vibe in the Portland nightlife
• [24:10] Generational Spaces: Why we need more 30+ clubs in Portland
• [25:35] Shooting Your Shot: Alexis’s different experience with dating in the PNW
• [26:50] Hair Narratives: How different styles attract different types of men
• [28:10] The "Spice Intolerant" Ex: A pandemic dating cautionary tale
• [30:50] The Resentment Spirit: When men struggle with ambitious, career-driven women
• [33:15] Living Alone: Why having your own space is a dating non-negotiable at 30
• [36:40] Content Creation Burnout: Moving from corporate marketing to personal branding
• [39:2...

Get ready for one of the juiciest episodes yet! Host Leigh LaRie and guest co-host Charlisa "Chadowboxx" Harris are opening the vault and diving into your "Dear Dirty Roses" listener letters. From bizarre ex-lover friendships to delusional "magic sticks," no topic is off-limits in this candid and hilarious advice session.

Leigh kicks things off by sharing her own "brave but regrettable" experience going live on a national dating platform, only to be "eaten alive" by internet trolls—including a hater who tried to sabotage her live stream with a phone call! The ladies then tackle a series of anonymous letters that will have you clutching your pearls. They discuss the "Mr. Detective" ex who only calls when he senses misfortune, a man looking for the "cheat code" to transition from physical flings to true love, and the "opposite sex best friend" dynamic that feels a little too close for comfort.

Plus, don't miss the dramatic reading of the "Delusional Ding Dong" letter and a cautionary tale about why you should never send a dick pic with a ruler next to it—especially to your coworkers! Whether you're looking for dating "cheat codes" or just a good laugh at someone else's misfortune, this episode is exactly what you need.

• [00:00] Intro: Welcome to Episode 5 – Dear Dirty Roses
• [00:45] Product Highlight: Mylani Vegan Golden Indulgence Body Oil
• [02:30] Have you ever submitted a letter for advice?
• [04:15] Leigh’s Dating Site Experiment: Going Live with Kendra G
• [06:40] The Internet Ate Me Up: Dealing with Trolls and Haters
• [09:50] Letter #1: Ms. Stubbed Toe & Mr. Detective – The Ex who loves your minor suffering
• [12:20] Gleeful Squeals: Identifying "miserable" people who plot on your downfall
• [14:45] Can you really be "just friends" after being intimate?
• [20:30] Rules of Engagement: Setting boundaries for yourself, not others
• [21:30] Letter #2: No Play to Foreplay – A "reformed" selfish lover looking for the five-star experience
• [24:20] The BDSM Test: A cornerstone for sexual communication
• [25:50] Change of Scenery: How Airbnbs and balconies open up the "uninhibited" side
• [30:00] Planning the Perfect Date: Door swings and sensory deprivation
• [31:45] The Shroom Date Disaster: When the walls start melting
• [34:15] Letter #3: Opposite Sex Best Friends – Emotional cheating vs. platonic boundaries
• [37:05] The Ploy of Jealousy: Why some men deliberately mention other women
• [43:20] Career "Side Chicks" and targeting men in relationships
• [45:10] Letter #4: Secret Lovers – When you’re embarrassed to admit who you’re dating
• [50:50] Aesthetic Shame: The "Chubby Chaser" dynamic and loving out loud
• [53:30] Letter #5: Delusional Ding Dong – Dealing with the "un-magical" magic stick
• [57:25] Is it the "Motion in the Ocean"? The Keisha Ka'oir and Kanye West theory
• [01:00:20] The Google Search: What is the actual average size?
• [01:03:30] Letter #6: The Aspiring Eater – Tips for giving the best "headlock" exper...