Episodes

  • I, Jedi 5-8

    I, Jedi 5-8
    May 14 2025
    Wedge drives like a maniac across Coruscant and we get some glimpses of the Imperial Palace (tacky!!!), as well as the successful Force-based therapy practice Luke Skywalker could have run if he wasn't so obsessed with being a Jedi Master. He and Wedge agree: the way to get Mirax back is for Corran to become a Jedi. Corran isn't totally convinced until he listens to an old voice mail from his dead dad. Before he leaves for Yavin, he starts running a couple two three five k's a day just to make sure he can win at Jedi on day one. And he has lunch with his old friend Iella, who helps him dye his hair, drops some hot goss about the Invids, and gently reminds him that he's a highly competitive, overly analytical maniac who just signed up for a master's degree in how to be in touch with his emotions. As patrons have warned in the chat, a tidal wave of misogyny and sexy baby pirate baddie is coming down the pike, so we will cherish Corran's entirely platonic lunch with a female friend who is written like a real person (and a person who has been to therapy!) while we have it. Despite Iella's warning, Corran is still shocked to arrive on Yavin and learn that Luke's plan for him is not to do jungle work outs and spy on his fellow students, but rather to not worry about what time it is and feel feelings. What is this hippie bullcrap! Plus, some light Andor chat.
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    55 mins
  • I, Jedi Ch. 1 - 4

    I, Jedi Ch. 1 - 4
    May 7 2025
    The chat has spoken and we dive in to the first few chapters of I, Jedi -- which (as advertised) is a first person account of being a Jedi. Luckily for us, that first person is Corran Horn: noted fighter pilot, recovering narc, short king, and galactic-level grump doing his best Sam Spade impression. We follow Corran as he battles space pirates, his own insecurities over becoming a father, and watching his good friend Ooryl eat breakfast. But just as Corran triumphantly returns home via Coruscant Municipal Transit ready to get his wife hella pregnant, he realizes Mirax is gone. And not just on a work trip, but also in a more mysterious, extra-gone Jedi way. Luckily everyone's BFF Wedge has taken a break from starfightering to have a midlife crisis doing architecture on Coruscant and helps Corran assemble an elite team of Corellian wife guys to get Mirax back. Oh, and wouldn't you know it - his friend Luke (the Jedi one) is also in town and might be able to help, too.
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • The Crystal Star Ch. 9-13

    The Crystal Star Ch. 9-13
    Apr 30 2025
    Our intrepid hosts valiantly struggle against a sinus infection and the city of Denver to bring you the THRILLING CONCLUSION to the NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING SAGA of The Crystal Star. The twins escape with the help of the true star of this novel, Mistress Dragon. Leia, Chewie and their new friend Rallao consult an elephant who never forgets (the name of any being enslaved in the galaxy) and have an incredible run of showing up just where they need to be for the plot to move forward. Han finally gets the perfect amount of drunk on vacation, only to have it wasted on an afternoon of saving his brother-in-law from a cult leader preying on his untreated depression. Anakin steals a space Turkish delight and is almost eaten by an evil chair. Mr. Threep's purple paint job does not survive, but all our heroes do, and the fly off into the sunset as evil sofa Waru is finally able to phone home.

    And speaking of Correllian wife guys who are really annoyed Luke Skywalker is harshing their vibe... our next book will be as the chat wills it. Michael A Stackpole's I, Jedi.
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    1 hr and 12 mins
  • The Crystal Star Ch 5-8

    The Crystal Star Ch 5-8
    Apr 17 2025
    Please enjoy this latest effort, late and paltry though it is - our hosts unfortunately live in the United States, which is going through some [redacted] times and also a gnarly flu season. In a galaxy far far away, most of our heroes are having a time of it as well. Han is really regretting his choice to vacation with a Jedi, especially after they run into his ex-girl friend, who introduces them to an all-powerful living sofa. Leia and Chewie try to find the kidnapped children with the power of the Dark Side (?) and expired eye shadow. Jacen and Jaina are reunited through the power of Force hi jinks.
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • The Crystal Star Ch. 1 - 4

    The Crystal Star Ch. 1 - 4
    Mar 26 2025
    Our latest entry starts with a bang. Literally. Chewbacca gets blown up and the three Organa-Solo kids are kidnapped. Everyone around Leia gaslights her into thinking maybe it's an unserious kidnapping (because apparently that's a thing!) — except master detective R2 Freakin' D2 who is on the case and fully prepared to do a murder if necessary to solve it. Luke Skywalker and Han Solo would probably have some feelings about the kidnapping, but they're on vacation near a black hole that blocks all cell service so they have no idea. Jaina Solo is pretty pissed about having to survive on crappy soup and being forcibly separated from her brothers. She makes a friend only to have that kid immediately sold into slavery by a Force-sensitive Empire-revival cultist — but hey, there's a cool dragon!

    Also, 3PO is purple.
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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • Who knows how the Force really works?

    Who knows how the Force really works?
    Mar 19 2025
    As the New York Times best-selling saga of the Callista trilogy draws to a close, Kelly and Emily are joined by a surprise guest who weighs in on who gets to decide what's in a Star Wars novel, why Han Solo is totally cool being a Wife Guy, and the power of body swaps.
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    55 mins
  • Planet of Twilight Ch. 17-22

    Planet of Twilight Ch. 17-22
    Mar 5 2025
    It's a Lunar New Year Miracle (we finished more than 3 chapters of a Hambly!). Leia and Callista have some dorm room conversations on the nature of power and its uses. Luke returns to his first love (hotwiring speeders and driving across the desert like a lunatic). Leia returns to her first love (small artillery fire). Threepio and Artoo continue bouncing around the galactic postal system. We find out that the Spook crystals ARE talking and Luke becomes their Lorax. Han Solo finally gets to hug his wife. Callista continues on her own path. GMOs are revealed as the ultimate evil. And one of Star Wars’ most baffling ‘ships appears like a Death Star on the horizon. 11.5/12 parsecs.

    If you want to vote on what comes next, join us over on the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/DelusionsofGrandeurPod
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    1 hr and 25 mins
  • Planet of Twlight Ch. 13-16

    Planet of Twlight Ch. 13-16
    Feb 26 2025
    Leia decides it's time get up off the couch. Seti Ashgad gets a horrifying makeover. Dyzym's whole deal is revealed and it's NOT COOL. Luke gets a late night Force call and heads into the desert. Threepio gets a wig and gets creative but refuses to get impolite. Han and Lando continue to breathe somewhere in the galaxy. Callista shows up, mostly to roast Luke. And we find out that no matter where you are in the galaxy everything evolves back to CRABS eventually.
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    53 mins