Episodes

  • I, Jedi Ch. 33-37

    I, Jedi Ch. 33-37
    Jul 16 2025
    Corran makes nice with some of the Invids by bringing them that fancy shuttle they were trying to steal, starting a months-long (!?!) project of working his way up the ladder to get onto the Invidious as crew and find Mirax. His new wingwoman tells him there's two ways: fancy flying or fucking the captain. In this fic, Corran chooses the flying, which brings him face to face with Rogue Squadron...and with Kelly's hardest challenge yet: describing a protracted space battle solo.
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    52 mins
  • I, Jedi Ch. 29-32

    I, Jedi Ch. 29-32
    Jul 9 2025
    The Horn boys do some gardening (revealing a whole bunch of Jedi secrets under a pile of literal bullshit), then go out to dinner at Corellia's fanciest new molecular gastronomy restaurant, much to Corran's delight. But big steaks and big secrets make for bad dreams, and Corran wakes up determined to go back to his old self to save his wife. Conveniently, that was the guy who went undercover with pirates all the time! But first, he's got to stop a teenage Rouge Squadron fanboy from draxxing some sklounsts his body can't draxx, do some fancy flying, and critique Mara Jade's wardrobe (perhaps the most dangerous mission of all).
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    55 mins
  • I, Jedi Ch. 25-28

    I, Jedi Ch. 25-28
    Jun 25 2025
    After making a terrible executive decision that lacerates his kidneys, Corran IDGAF Horn is rescued from Exar Kun by his Verbally Confirmed Friend Mara Jade. The other Jedi do some magic or something and Exar Kun gets Exar-cised. Don't think about it too much — Corran doesn't. Luke wakes up from his coma (or was it the nap he was actually looking for all along?), pardons genocidal maniac Kyp Durron, and we can finally leave this wizard shit behind to get into some real Corellian noir investigations.

    We're here for the descriptions of Booster Terrik's Errant Venture (TV series, when?) and Corran's horticulturalist political puppet-master grandpa (Tony Gilroy, you would love this guy).
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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • I, Jedi Ch. 21-24

    I, Jedi Ch. 21-24
    Jun 18 2025
    Much happens in these chapters, a lot of it off screen for Jedi Academy (and maybe copyright?) reasons. Luke falls into a Sith-induced coma! Corran and R2 engage in light espionage! Leia sweeps in looking like a hero of the Rebellion! Han Solo cooks a delicious meal and abandons his family! And we see one strong advantage the books have over the movies as Kyp destroys Carida and our apprentices feel the horror in real time. Plus, the Last Temptation of Corran Horn (directed by Exar Kun) debuts to less than rave reviews.
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    55 mins
  • I, Jedi Ch. 17-20

    I, Jedi Ch. 17-20
    Jun 11 2025
    Things are heating up on Yavin 4. Mara Jade arrives in a tasteful jumpsuit, only to have her car jacked almost as soon as she parks. Rough neighborhood! Now, she is forced to hang out with her cool friend's meathead husband for a whole week. Corran's various investigations aren't going particularly well, but he does use his skills as a Corellian to cook everyone a succulent Yavanese meal . And what thanks does he get? Being Force-slammed into a wall by one Kyp Durron, then having to do all the dishes and be Luke Skywalker's part time therapist. What's the point of being a Jedi if you can't even get out of the third shift?
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • I, Jedi Ch. 13-16

    I, Jedi Ch. 13-16
    Jun 3 2025
    Corran shows up late to class on the one day someone's trying to kill Luke Skywalker -- who seems weirdly unconcerned that one of his students came at him with a freshly built lightsaber. He is more concerned when Gantoris and said lightsaber are found freshly Force barbecued, alone in his room. Finally, Corran has a chance to shine...as a detective and a TA. Not so much as a Jedi. Most unfortunately, Corran becomes increasingly distracted by how hot Tionne looks in green library lighting, while Luke is increasingly distracted by the latest sadboi to show up at the Academy -- one Kyp Durron.
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • I Jedi Ch. 9 - 12

    I Jedi Ch. 9 - 12
    May 21 2025
    This is a fun set of chapters, although not a lot of plot happens. Corran comes to terms with the fact that although he can run really, really far, he is not a "boy genius" when in comes to the Force -- and might actually be the most repressed sentient on the planet. Slowly, he comes to trust his fellow students and his own emotions (on a good day). But he also worries he will be seduced by a woman who clearly has no romantic interest in him and who is definitely way more interested in floating rocks. We see first hand that Luke was a home schooled kid whose teachers thought he would die and is now a man who has no idea how to actually run a school. Despite all that, the hot tub time machine/Force field trip experience M. Skywalker takes his students on does sound rad. The Force: it's pretty neat!
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    53 mins
  • I, Jedi 5-8

    I, Jedi 5-8
    May 14 2025
    Wedge drives like a maniac across Coruscant and we get some glimpses of the Imperial Palace (tacky!!!), as well as the successful Force-based therapy practice Luke Skywalker could have run if he wasn't so obsessed with being a Jedi Master. He and Wedge agree: the way to get Mirax back is for Corran to become a Jedi. Corran isn't totally convinced until he listens to an old voice mail from his dead dad. Before he leaves for Yavin, he starts running a couple two three five k's a day just to make sure he can win at Jedi on day one. And he has lunch with his old friend Iella, who helps him dye his hair, drops some hot goss about the Invids, and gently reminds him that he's a highly competitive, overly analytical maniac who just signed up for a master's degree in how to be in touch with his emotions. As patrons have warned in the chat, a tidal wave of misogyny and sexy baby pirate baddie is coming down the pike, so we will cherish Corran's entirely platonic lunch with a female friend who is written like a real person (and a person who has been to therapy!) while we have it. Despite Iella's warning, Corran is still shocked to arrive on Yavin and learn that Luke's plan for him is not to do jungle work outs and spy on his fellow students, but rather to not worry about what time it is and feel feelings. What is this hippie bullcrap! Plus, some light Andor chat.
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    55 mins