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Delight Your Marriage

Delight Your Marriage

By: Belah Rose | Christ-centered Author Coach & Marriage Intimacy Expert
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 Husbands and wives were designed to be different. You want different things in marriage and intimacy on every level (emotional, spiritual, and physical). Whether you're a wife or a husband, whether you're suffering or pretty good... and you're looking for Bible-based insights and scriptural practical guidance on how to transform your marriage, you've found the right podcast! We have "transformation stories" that will inspire hope that putting into practice these principles, by God's grace, can truly change your intimacy completely. If you're looking to see how to transform your marriage sign up for a free Clarity Call, we can hear your story and work with you to determine if we are confident we can help you: https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc(c) Delight Your Marriage Christianity Hygiene & Healthy Living Spirituality
Episodes
  • 507-"Marriage First" Makes Your Life Unstable

    507-"Marriage First" Makes Your Life Unstable
    Oct 31 2025
    "Marriage First" Makes Your Life Unstable At the end of my life, I want to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." That's the goal that keeps me grounded—and I know many of you share that desire. But here's a hard truth I've learned through years of walking with couples: when our marriage or family becomes our first priority instead of God, everything starts to crumble. Why "Family First" Doesn't Work I once had a conversation with someone I deeply love who said, "You think God has to be first—but I think family should be first." His heart was sincere, but the fruit of that mindset showed otherwise. When family is first, everything depends on emotions—how your spouse treats you, how the kids behave, whether things feel peaceful at home. That's not stability. That's shifting sand. We see the effects of this all around us. Divorce rates hover around 50%. Even pastors and counselors admit they rarely had a healthy marriage modeled for them. Most people are doing their best, but without a biblical foundation, their "best" can't hold up when life gets hard. The Biblical Order That Brings Stability Scripture gives us the right order: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself." — Mark 12:30–31 That means I love my first neighbor—my spouse—because I love God. Why do I forgive in marriage? Because God is first.Why do I love my husband well? Because God is first.Why do I serve my family with joy? Because God is first. When we build our lives on that rock, we become steady—even when the storms hit. Illness, loss, special needs, mental health struggles—these things shake every marriage. But when God comes first, everything else finds its right place. Feelings Aren't God—God's Word Is We live in a "follow your feelings" culture. If you don't feel in love anymore, the world says, find someone new. But feelings aren't truth. God's Word is. You're serving the King of Kings, and your marriage is part of that assignment. Like the Roman soldiers in Gladiator fought for the glory of Rome; as believers, we live for the glory of God. That means our choices in marriage—our words, our intimacy, our tone—should all be for His glory. Believers are called to die to ourselves. That includes our moods and even our sexual desires. Scripture is clear: "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time... then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you." — 1 Corinthians 7:5 That's not about coercion or obligation—it's about love expressed God's way. When I choose intimacy with my husband, it's not because I feel like it every time. It's because I love God. And when I embrace His design with joy, the byproduct is a beautiful, connected marriage. Marriage as a Path to Holiness Author Gary Thomas famously asked, "What if marriage is meant to make us holy, not happy?" The amazing thing is—when we pursue holiness, happiness often follows. That's why we teach the Delight Your Marriage Framework: Husbands need to have respect, admiration, and wholehearted intimacy. Wives need to feel safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished. We love our spouse in the way they receive love, not the way we prefer to give it. Because real love is about understanding and serving the other. (You can download the full framework at DelightYourMarriage.com/framework.) The Power of God's Word to Transform David Wood—a former atheist and sociopath whose life was radically changed by Scripture. Even after becoming a Christian, he noticed that when he stopped reading the Bible for a few days, dark thoughts would return. That's how powerful God's Word is—it changes us from the inside out. If you're struggling to love your spouse, to forgive, to stay faithful, start here: get your nose in the Word. Not scrolling. Not skimming. Reading. Slowly. With a heart open to hear God. Even one verse a day in a physical Bible can soften your heart. Make it a habit. Let the Word wash over you. Final Thoughts If you have put your marriage above Jesus, it's not too late to turn it around. He is a safe person to put your trust in. You can trust His Word and His design. It is on purpose, for a purpose… and it is Good. Blessings, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - If you are interested in taking the next step, putting God first, above your marriage, we would love to talk with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call and chat with one of Clarity Advisors. PPS - Want to see this work in your churches? Our In-Person Training is launching nationwide in January and we would love for your church to be a part of it. Click here to learn more. PPPS - Here is what a recent graduate had to say:"The DYM program has helped me grow as a husband and learn how to better serve my wife and our relationship has been growing in all areas as a result. She just told me this week that she used to feel tension when I came ...
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    22 mins
  • 506-How to Not Have an Affair: Interview with Gary Thomas

    506-How to Not Have an Affair: Interview with Gary Thomas
    Oct 24 2025
    It doesn't start with scandal. It often doesn't even start with feelings. It starts with a smile. A moment of connection. A conversation that feels easy—maybe easier than the ones you've been having at home. You walk away thinking, That was nothing. But somewhere deep down, you also know—it could become something. If that's where you find yourself today (or even if you've seen the warning signs in someone you love), please take a deep breath. You're not broken. You didn't marry the wrong person. You haven't done an irredeemable thing with no going back. You're human. And this conversation is meant to bring you hope, not shame. In my conversation with Gary Thomas today—pastor and bestselling author of Sacred Marriage—he shared that when a group of wives was asked "How many times do you think a married man has had extramarital feelings for someone?", they all responded with zero. When he asked the same question to a group of husbands, they all said somewhere from 4 to 6. What we are saying is that attraction and feelings for someone other than your spouse are not often talked about, but are pretty common- for both husbands and wives. And we believe that bringing this into the light will take some of the shame off of these feelings and also help people not to go down a road they think has no return. Gary Thomas on Attraction and Integrity Gary has been married for over 40 years, and he's seen a lot—as a pastor, counselor, and husband. He told me, "The reason we make a commitment is because we know there will always be another person who draws us for a moment. Commitment means we already know what to do with it—and what not to do with it." We don't often talk about attraction outside of marriage unless it's already turned into an affair. But Gary's heart is to normalize awareness before it becomes destruction. In our talk, Gary referenced a romantic comedy movie where a married bus driver begins to become attracted to a girl on a bicycle. Finally, a friend of the bus driver gently confronts him and says: "There will always be a girl on the bicycle." In other words, there will always be someone who catches your eye. The key isn't pretending that will never happen—it's learning how to respond when it does. Gary reminded me that having an attraction isn't the sin. Entertaining it is. The feelings themselves don't make you unfaithful—they make you human. But where you let those feelings go next? That's where faithfulness begins. The Subtle Steps Toward an Affair Gary shared that most affairs don't start with a dramatic choice—they start with small, quiet ones. Little compromises that feel "innocent." He shared with a story of a woman who did end up having a physical affair. She recounted that it wasn't just one day to the next, but that there were actually several steps that happened before they were physically intimate. She shares that she could have turned back at any of these step, had she known before. She also shares the grief after it was all done at waking up to "just a dude in her bed"– not the escape or rescue or romance the temptation had promised. Here are the steps she shared and the pattern Gary's seen over and over again: You share marriage frustrations with someone of the opposite sex. You sense a spark—and feel seen or understood. You start caring how you look around them. You think about them when they're not around. That's the prelude. It doesn't feel dangerous yet, but it's where hearts begin to shift. Gary said, "If you can recognize it early, you can stop it before it ever grows." From there, people will often begin to have an emotional affair: 5. You fantasize about being together. 6. Manipulating circumstances to spend more time together. 7. You start playful banter or flirtation. 8. Friends notice—and ask what's going on. This is a wake-up call. Gary said, "If people around you see it, something's already happening." They're seeing what your heart is trying not to admit. Then, comes the actual physical affair: 9. Meeting together in secrecy. 10. Texting or calling in ways you hide from your spouse. 11. Physical intimacy. This is the final step—but it's never the first. We don't share this to shame. Maybe you've already partaken in some of these steps. We share because it is not too late to turn back. Gary said, "If you know the steps, you can stop at any one of them." When You Have Extramarital Feelings, Here's What to Do If you do end up experiencing feelings or attraction for someone other than your spouse—don't panic. Don't spiral into guilt. Instead, bring it into the light. Tell a trusted, godly friend of your same sex. Talk to your spouse if it's wise to do so. And most importantly—talk to Jesus. Ask Him to help you see the truth: that this isn't love, it's a lure. Temptation often feels like relief at first—but always ends in ruin. Then, put up strong, unapologetic guardrails: Stop all ...
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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • 505-How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story

    505-How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story
    Oct 17 2025
    How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story Sometimes, the couples who join our programs aren't on the brink of divorce. They aren't fighting all the time. They actually have a good marriage. But deep down, they know it could be better. That's exactly where Jen was when she found Delight Your Marriage. "We Had a Good Marriage… But I Knew It Could Be More" Jen and her husband had been married nearly 15 years. They had three young kids, a busy life, and no major marital crisis. As she put it, "We were not in conflict with each other. We didn't have any major issues that we were dealing with from our past. You know, no unfaithfulness, nothing like that." Still, something inside her longed for more. She said to us, "I think the thing that drove me into it was knowing that our marriage was good, but understanding or having this feeling that it could be better." She remembered a pastor that had mentioned Delight Your Marriage to her and from there, took the leap of faith to schedule a Clarity Call. And what she discovered surprised her. Through honest reflection and intentional questions, she realized that while her marriage looked peaceful from the outside, her heart was carrying something deeper: resentment. She had no idea that this resentment had snuck into her heart, but once she saw it, she was set on rooting it out. When Self-Pity Sneaks Into a Good Marriage Not only did Jen identify resentment in her heart, but she discovered she had also been carrying self-pity. In listening to an episode of the podcast on self-pity before joining the program, she realized the topic was actually hitting her heart. [For those interested: https://delightyourmarriage.com/393-the-sin-of-self-pity-aka-pride/] In that moment, God started something new. Through the program, Jen learned to let go of resentment and embrace gratitude. She began to see her husband not as someone who wasn't "doing enough," but as a man faithfully serving and providing for their family. That simple—but powerful—shift changed everything. The Power of Peace in a Great Marriage As Jen walked through the program, she noticed a transformation in herself. Through the "heart" work, she found that her soul was also being renewed and that God was was reworking things her heart she didn't even know where there. And the result of that heart change? Peace. With Jen getting rid of the resentment, putting aside the self-pity, and bringing in appreciation, compliments, and admiration- it changed the atmosphere of their homes. Jen's husband even came home one evening during his busiest season, wrapped her in a hug, and said, "Thank you. I've noticed how much more peaceful our home has been." She hadn't been trying to get him to notice—but he did. What she considered a small change was actually impactful. "It was a change enough that he felt it too" How God Turns a Good Marriage Into a Great One When we allow God to transform us, our marriage begins to shift. Jen said, "Our connection as a result of, I think just the peacefulness in the home and between us and our gratefulness for each other has brought us closer together in intimacy…" Yes, even their physical intimacy changed! Before the program, intimacy was about once a week. Now? "Two or three times," she said, smiling. And not only has the frequency been upped, but they are enjoying each other more (a major win!) And it wasn't a formula or manipulation—it was the result of a softened heart. A Christ-Centered Model for Marriage Transformation As a former family life educator in her church, Jen had led marriage classes before. So she was skeptical—could DYM really offer something new? After completing the program, she said, "I haven't encountered anything as beneficial, and that actually works as well, as what DYM does. And I think a huge part of that is because of, well, the commitment to Scripture and actually putting it into practice." Jen's favorite part? The women's small group. "A place that's safe, encouraging, and honest," she said. "We prayed for each other, celebrated each other's wins, and shared struggles without fear of judgment. I've never experienced community like that." There's Always More God Wants to Do in Your Marriage When asked what she'd tell another wife who has a good marriage but knows there's more, Jen didn't hesitate: "I think I would just say...wherever you are in your marriage, if you think there's room for growth, then there's probably room for growth. So go after it, go after it, go after it...I would, for sure say, do it with DYM, because I think it's... I think it's a powerful, powerful program." Jen's words remind us that "good" isn't the goal. God desires great marriages—ones marked by peace, gratitude, and deep connection. Wherever your marriage is at: whether you're separated and not speaking or in a good place but wanting just a little more, we know that God is still working and He can change things for good. With love...
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    28 mins
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