In this episode, Rosa and Aaron unpack why most “communication” isn’t—yet. We explore trading “How are you?” for openings that spark real connection, explore why “Does that make sense?” falls flat, and share practical moves like reflection and slowing down to speed up. Along the way we touch on self-talk as a performance enhancer, the limits of language, and the courage to keep conversations open, curious, and kind.

We reference Delete Your Defaults favorites Alan Watts and Joe Hudson.

If you’re ready for friendships (and a life) that can hold truth, tenderness, and growth—this one’s for you.

Episode snapshot

Rosa and Aaron unpack what we call full-contact friendship: relationships where we stop performing, tell the truth, and meet each other in the gritty, generous middle. You’ll hear about midlife “unraveling,” the comfort trap, type-2 fun, and the inner work that makes vulnerability feel less like free-fall and more like strength training for the soul.

Mentioned in this episode

• Brené Brown — The Midlife Unraveling
• Michael Easter — The Comfort Crisis
• Ryan Holiday — The Obstacle Is the Way
• Art of Accomplishment (Joe Hudson) — the “enjoy this 10% more” experiment
• Jordan Hirsch — improv-based coaching

For all that we live in a world that pretends we’re rational beings doing rational things, feelings drive everything in our lives, or block everything. Developing the skill of feeling our feelings, allowing them to move, expressing them healthily determines the quality of our relationships, our creative output, our work product, and so much more.

We explore how our feelings can bring us wisdom and information the brain can’t grasp or hold onto, the value of intuition,

We mention Joe Hudson and his awesome coaching videos. Here’s the specific one we refer to. Here’s another.

We also mention two breathwork apps: Pause and Breathwrk.

Our music is by “Music Unlimited” from Pixabay. You can write to us at deleteyourdefaults@gmail.com (and we really do read all the emails).

Find this and all of our episodes on deleteyourdefeaults.show, or anywhere you get your podcasts. If you’re listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, consider giving us a five-star review; it helps us find other listeners like you.