In this episode of Death Virgin, Kristen gets a new hip — and loses a bone.

What begins as a routine surgery (everyone says it’s routine) becomes something stranger: a meditation on ownership, body parts, family legacy, and what it means when a piece of you that grew with you is suddenly removed.

Before going under anesthesia, Kristen asks the question most surgeons are not prepared for:

Can I keep the bone?

From there, she wanders — lovingly and irreverently — through medical authority, arrogant surgeons, grandmother pranks, Harvard Medical School cadavers, the mysterious Jewish “Luz bone” of resurrection, and the strange grief of losing a tooth in your twenties.

This episode explores:

1. Why “common” surgery doesn’t mean minor
2. What belongs to us once it’s cut out of us
3. The power dynamics between doctors and patients
4. Why second opinions should be normalized
5. The family story of Grandma Mary, told she would never walk again — and walking anyway
6. Donating bodies to science (and what happens after)
7. The religious argument against cremation and the almond-shaped “Luz bone”
8. Why birth and death are both messier than we like to admit
9. Mourning body parts — teeth, breasts, bones — as small rehearsals for larger loss
10. Whether cremation tidies death… or just disguises it

Kristen also confronts the hypocrisy of creating end-of-life workbooks for others while having no will herself — realizing, the night before surgery, that she has not practiced what she preaches.

Because maybe death practice doesn’t only happen at funerals.

Maybe it happens in operating rooms.

Maybe it happens when your body changes.

Maybe it happens when you realize you are not, in fact, twenty anymore.

There is pumpkin pie.

There is Beyoncé.

There is The Big Lebowski.

There are bones — some kept, some donated, some pulverized.

And there is humor. Always humor.

Because sometimes the only way to talk about taboo things

is to talk about them sideways.

Harvard Medical School Body Donation Program

Rabbinic literature on the “Luz” bone

Ecclesiastes (interpretations of resurrection texts)

The Naked Ape by Desmond Morris

The Big Lebowski (the Folgers canister scene)

Pretty Woman (big mistake. Big. Huge.)

The Little Engine That Could

Beyoncé — “Sorry” (Becky with the good hair)

In this episode of Death Virgin, Kristen starts the year by reading a full, unruly, prickly, and deeply human obituary—one that refuses to smooth the edges of a life well lived.

The obituary of Doris McClintock (1939–2025) is funny, specific, political, tender, stubborn, and alive with detail: pine boxes, black bears, arthritis, grudges, gardens, community, and the refusal to romanticize old age or death. From there, Kristen wanders—lovingly—through pumpkin pie, Yankees, Thanksgiving rules, avoidance strategies, and the long, strange history of obituaries themselves.

This episode explores:

1. How obituaries evolved from elite death notices to public mourning texts
2. Who gets remembered in the historical record—and who gets erased
3. Why euphemisms for death may soften truth rather than honor it
4. Susan Sontag, silence, moral control, and why smoothing edges can do harm
5. Obituaries as political documents, especially for marginalized lives
6. The ethics of writing your own obituary (and whether anyone has to tell the truth for you)
7. Humor as a survival tool when talking about death
8. Why writing your own obituary might not be about closure—but permission

Kristen also introduces a new Death Virgin obituary-writing exercise, including a Mad Lib–style worksheet designed not as a “final draft,” but as a playful, revealing warm-up—something to do alone, or better yet, with others.

Because maybe an obituary isn’t meant to close the book.

Maybe it’s meant to leave it cracked open.

Referenced & Recommended:

1. OBIT (dir. Vanessa Gould)
2. The Deadbeat by Marilyn Johnson
3. Susan Sontag on language, illness, and moral control
4. Merle Haggard, E.B. White, Monty Python, Eminem (yes, really)

Content note: This episode references death, illness, murder, and contemporary violence.

Rest in peace, Doris McClintock.

Kristen welcomes her first guest, Thao, for an honest conversation about friendship, grief, and the journey through loss. Together, they reflect on their shared history, the evolution of their friendship, and Thao’s recent experience of losing her brother. The episode explores cultural rituals, the physicality of grief, and the importance of storytelling in healing.