Sade Curry, divorce coach, covers the pull to leave a marriage and then return. She says most women try to leave at least three times, sometimes up to seven, before they leave for good. She shares her own experience and how to move from that cycle to a clear, confident decision.

What's covered:

1:37: Why leaving takes several attempts, and Sade's own story of leaving and going back

3:28: Why leaving is so hard, and why a planned exit usually goes better than a sudden one

4:50: The "hoovering" pattern, and how repeated returns tighten the loop

6:12: What the cycle can do to you: despair, eroded self-trust, and a partner who learns to hide things better

9:18: Capacity to change: is your partner actually exercising it, or are you projecting it?

10:41: Why staying can be a valid choice, if it rests on your own plan and not on his changing

12:30: Why you can't search for options you don't know exist, and how a coach can show you the range

14:17: Making a clear decision before you announce it, and why decision comes before implementation

16:04: Why relying on an unreliable partner causes pain

17:00: Building self-trust and a plan so you can leave or stay with peace

Key takeaways

Decide based on who you are and what you value, not on what he says or does.

Making a decision is different from implementing it.

Whether you stay or leave, a plan and self-trust let you stop going back and forth.

Work with Sade

Join the Protective Divorce Method webinar on November 19, 2026. Save Your Spot Here

Schedule a consultation call with Sade at sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment.

Episode: My Healing Journey After Divorce, and What "Doing the Work" Really Takes

Sade Curry, host of the Extraordinary Life and Dating After a Divorce podcast, tells the full story of how she healed and grew after her divorce. She explains what "doing the work" looked like for her and why it takes more than most people expect. She also describes how she compressed years of healing into about 18 months, and how you can start your own journey.

What's covered:

0:00: Why Sade is telling her whole healing story in one episode

0:53: Why you need an honest read on your own situation, and why a friend's or mom's advice may not fit yours

2:34: Her sudden separation after 17 years, and the shock and grief of that time

4:45: The turning point: realizing the "one plus one equals two" rules she'd been given weren't working

8:42: Redirecting the effort she'd poured into her marriage toward herself

10:49: Everything she tried: books, podcasts, coaching, therapy, meditation, a divorce community, 12 steps, daily 5Ks, somatic practices, tapping, breathwork and travel

14:05: Compressing about 10 years of healing into 18 months to two years, and starting her coaching practice

15:00: Why her second divorce didn't need the same healing, and how the earlier work made that possible

17:05: Why people call self-work "navel gazing," and how to handle criticism of it

19:19: Why real transformation takes detailed work, referencing the essay "Reality Has a Surprising Amount of Detail" by John Salvatier

22:13: The mind-body connection, including how tracking her hot flashes helped her manage them

24:18: Why signing the divorce papers doesn't make you feel better, and why the change has to happen inside

Key takeaways:

Check whether the information and beliefs you're working from are actually working.

Everyone's situation is different, so build a plan that fits yours.

Healing is an internal process, and it takes time, attention and often money.

Working with someone who has been through it can shorten the path.

Resources mentioned

"Reality Has a Surprising Amount of Detail" by John Salvatier.

Schedule a consultation call with Sade at sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment.

Today's episode is about how to feel better in the middle of the storm of divorce. Is it possible to stop feeling so terrible while the divorce is happening?

What do you do when it feels like the divorce is taking over your whole life? Do you have to wait until the divorce is over to enjoy your life again?

How can you stop reacting in the moments and respond calmly? If you’re in the middle of divorce and feel anxious or overwhelmed, this episode is for you.

Ready to feel better? Schedule a consultation call with Sade Curry at sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment.

Schedule a consultation call with Sade at sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment.