This conversation revolves around the nervous system and its impact on the way that we connect. Dr. Alexandra is joined by Deb Dana, the leading translator of Dr. Stephen Porges’ scientific work on Polyvagal Theory to the public and mental health professionals. As just one example of her huge impact, a term she coined, glimmers, has gone viral on TikTok.

You’ll hear Deb take us through Polyvagal Theory, explaining the three principles of neuroception, hierarchy of response, and coregulation. You’ll learn about the states our nervous systems go between - how those states feel and the types of thoughts and sensations that go alongside each state. You will learn that our ability to connect with the people around us is dictated by our biology. It’s not cognitive. And it’s certainly not random.

Through the lens of Polyvagal Theory, helping our nervous systems and the nervous systems around us feel safe becomes the goal, and you’ll learn how that perspective has shaped Deb Dana’s life and how it can shift how you approach your relationships, as well. And of course, you’ll hear about glimmers, including how to integrate a simple glimmer practice into your routine, in order to further help the nervous system feel safe and primed for connection, curiosity, and creativity.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Read Deb Dana’s “A Beginner’s Guide to Polyvagal Theory”: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Beginners-Guide-Presentations-1.pdf
• Learn more about Deb Dana and her work: https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/
• Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb Dana: https://bookshop.org/p/books/anchored-how-to-befriend-your-nervous-system-using-polyvagal-theory-deb-dana-lcsw/2dcb315349927ae6

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
• Learn from Dr. Alexandra (E-courses: Intimate Relationships 101 or Can I Trust You Again?): https://dralexandrasolomon.com/learn-from-alexandra/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.