In this Circle of Chairs conversation, I interview speaker, author, and podcaster Toni Collier about recovery, trauma, and the kind of community that helps people heal. Toni shares her “buckets” of work - traveling to speak on healing and redemption, writing books including Brave Enough to Be Broken and her new book Don’t Try This Alone, hosting the Still Coloring podcast, and raising her kids as a single mom. She explains that sharing hard truths came from recovering from people-pleasing and focusing on pleasing God rather than others’ opinions. Toni describes a confessional community she built before crisis hit and then the incredible response from her friends.

We discuss breaking cycles of seeking worth through men, learning to sit with pain, and “with-ness” through being seen, soothed, safe, and secure, plus a practical exercise to help you get started with forming your own deep community.

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro

00:56 Tony in Buckets

02:50 From Struggle to Vulnerability

06:01 Community and New Book

06:53 Divorce and Confessional Community

11:02 Breaking the Love Lie

16:00 Learning to Sit in Pain

18:37 Withness and Four S's

23:14 Practical Steps to Build Circles

26:04 Closing Thanks

Caroline Beidler, MSW, is an author, speaker, and Managing Editor of Recovery.com, where she combines expert guidance with research to help people find the best path to healing and treatment. Her next book, When You Love Someone in Recovery: A Hopeful Guide for Understanding Addiction, is coming Spring 2026 with Nelson Books. Drawing from her own recovery journey through addiction, mental health challenges, and trauma, along with training as a clinical mental health provider and addiction recovery expert, Caroline is passionate about guiding you into seasons of greater healing. Learn more about her books here.

Subscribe to her Circle of Chairs Substack community at carolinebeidler.substack.com

What if some of the things you’ve believed about addiction recovery—about love, relapse, boundaries, even faith—aren’t fully true?

In this episode, I gently challenge 10 common myths that quietly shape how we show up for the people we love. If you’ve ever wondered…

• Am I enabling?
• Is relapse proof they’re not trying?
• Shouldn’t my faith make this easier?
• Why does loving them feel so exhausting?

This conversation is for you.

We’ll unpack what’s really happening beneath addiction, why recovery is rarely a straight line, and how love and boundaries can coexist without guilt. Most of all, we’ll talk about your healing—because recovery doesn’t just impact one person.

If you’ve been walking on eggshells, afraid of saying the wrong thing, I hope this episode brings clarity, courage, and grounded hope.

Time Stamps

00:00 Top 10 Addiction Recovery Myths (Intro & Overview)
01:01 Myth #1: “Loving Them Is Enabling” — Love + Boundaries
03:39 Myth #2: “Addiction Is a Choice” — What’s Happening in the Brain
07:16 Myth #3: “Talking About Drugs Makes Them Use” — Why Conversation Protects
09:18 Myth #4: “Relapse Means They’re Not Serious” — Recurrence & the Recovery Journey
14:40 Myth #5: “Boundaries Are Mean” — Why Boundaries Are Brave
15:46 Myth #6: “My Healing Doesn’t Matter” — Family Recovery Starts With You
16:56 Myth #7: “I’m the Only One” — Finding Community
18:05 Myth #8: “If I Have Faith, I Shouldn’t Struggle” — Holding Faith and Pain
19:20 Myth #9: “Mental Health Talk Is Weak” — Strength in Asking for Help
20:17 Myth #10: “They Just Need to Stop” — Getting to the Root
Wrap-Up: Truth, Hope & Final Encouragement

Pre-order the book When You Love Someone In Recovery: https://whenyoulovesomeoneinrecovery.com/

Caroline Beidler, MSW, is an author, speaker, and Managing Editor of Recovery.com, where she combines expert guidance with research to help people find the best path to healing and treatment. Her next book, When You Love Someone in Recovery: A Hopeful Guide for Understanding Addiction, is coming Spring 2026 with Nelson Books. Drawing from her own recovery journey through addiction, mental health challenges, and trauma, along with training as a clinical mental health provider and addiction recovery expert, Caroline is passionate about guiding you into seasons of greater healing. Learn more about her books here.

Subscribe to her Circle of Chairs Substack community at carolinebeidler.substack.com

In this episode of Circle of Chairs, I sit down with Brandon Burley, Marine Corps veteran, former law enforcement officer, educator, and the founder of the Redemption Project - for a deeply hopeful conversation about addiction, incarceration, and what it really takes to help people rebuild their lives.

Brandon shares how his career in narcotics exposed him to the revolving door of recidivism: the same people cycling through the system, wanting treatment but facing barriers like lack of beds, insurance, and support. He talks honestly about the stigma that exists not only toward people who’ve been incarcerated or struggled with addiction, but even within law enforcement itself—and why enforcement alone can’t create safer communities without real rehabilitation on the back end.

We explore how recovery is both a public health and public safety strategy, and why community and belonging are often the missing pieces.

If you care about recovery, reentry, or what it looks like to become the kind of community that helps people truly come home, this conversation will leave you thinking—and hoping.

You can find Brandon at TheRedemptionProject.news (plus his podcast and Substack), and connect in his Facebook community, The Redemption Group.

00:14 Meet Brandon Burley: Marine, Law Enforcement & the Redemption Project

02:20 Breaking the Silos: Collaboration, Stigma & Compassionate Policing

06:04 Why Recidivism Happens: What Brandon Saw in Narcotics Work

09:41 Recovery as Public Safety: Community as the Missing Pillar

14:05 The First 30 Days After Release: IDs, Medication & Reentry Barriers

18:29 What’s Working Now: Redemption Project, Veterans Advocacy & Men of Valor

22:18 How to Connect + Final Thoughts

For more resources, visit carolinebeidler.com.

Pre-order the book: When You Love Someone in Recovery: A Hopeful Guide for Understanding Addiction.

Caroline Beidler, MSW, is an author, speaker, and Managing Editor of Recovery.com, where she combines expert guidance with research to help people find the best path to healing and treatment. Her next book, When You Love Someone in Recovery: A Hopeful Guide for Understanding Addiction, is coming Spring 2026 with Nelson Books. Drawing from her own recovery journey through addiction, mental health challenges, and trauma, along with training as a clinical mental health provider and addiction recovery expert, Caroline is passionate about guiding you into seasons of greater healing. Learn more about her books here.

Subscribe to her Circle of Chairs Substack community at carolinebeidler.substack.com