Imagine your family dynamic is a play where the stage is set, the scenery is in place and the play is already underway. When children join the play, they interpret the family stage and then cast themselves in a role to find their own place (i.e. as "the funny one"). When you view your home through this lens, you gain the levity needed to stop "fixing" your kids and start enjoying your family's unique performance.

• 🔦 Your Spotlight: Notice how your children may become polar opposites to avoid competing for your attention, carving out unique space to ensure they belong.

• 🎭 Your Script: Realize that what you label "misbehavior" is often just a mismatch between your child's natural rhythm and the script you've established for the house.

• 🧥 Your Casting: When you stop casting your kids in rigid roles, you give them the freedom to take off old "costumes" and try on healthier ways of interacting with you.

Instead of acting as a stressed-out director trying to control every line, try being a curious producer who sees possibilities and appreciates the nuances of your family's show.

Home Play: This week's invitation is to notice and name a "role" you've accidentally cast a child in (e.g., "The athletic/good/bad/smart one" and catch them acting out of character this week, acknowledging the moment with a simple, neutral observation.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🧰Pick up a Family Meeting Toolkit if you don't already have one!

🎧 Take another listen to Episode 011: The Power of Noticing + Shining a Light on Strengths: How Positive Attention Builds Cooperation

🍻Read Paige's Blog, People are Prisms

♥️ Want to know more about Temperament

🤝Join our community

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What if your child isn't giving you a hard time, but is actually having a hard time because their internal buckets are empty? This week, we offer a powerful reframe for those moments of defiance and meltdown using the 4 Crucial Cs: Connect, Capable, Count, and Courage. When our needs go unmet, we often resort to "useless" behaviors—like power struggles or constant interruptions—to find a sense of belonging. By first noticing and then attending to these needs, you can transform your home into a place where respect comes first, and where everyone feels they truly matter.

• 🤝 Connect: Replace annoying attention-seeking with ten minutes of undivided "Special Time" to reinforce a feeling of belonging.

• 🛠️ Capable: Trade power struggles for intentional training, allowing kids to gain the mastery they crave through real-world skills.

• 🙉 Count: Listen to their perspective first so they feel their voice matters, turning "revenge" into its alter-ego–an ability to contribute meaningfully.

• 🏔️Courage: Normalize failure to build the resilience needed to face life without the paralysis of perfectionism.

📝Home Play: It might be helpful to consider home as the laboratory where we all can learn, practice and grow. Allow yourself to practice some of the ideas we share on the podcast. It takes courage to make mistakes.

This week we invite you to consider one strength of a child in your life today. Write it down. Next, think when, where and how you'll share this strength with them.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Need advice on how to help your child(ren) feel connected, capable, that they count or courageous? We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter and Wendy Tracy

🎧 Listen Again to Episode 016: The Hidden Truth About Power Struggles

♥️ Read Paige's blog about how to Stay Encouraged (little things can make a big difference).

🧰Pick up a Family Meeting Toolkit if you don't already have one!

🤝Join our community and share what happens when you look for strengths and celebrate them with the children in your life!

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

Between the morning scramble and the bedtime battles, it's easy for our homes to feel like a series of fires we're constantly trying to put out. This week, Paige and Marjie break down five essential guidelines designed to shift your home from a place of friction to a place of partnership.

• Respect for self and others: We share how to balance essential self-care with empathy and establish boundaries to prevent burnout.

• Trust & confidentiality: Why "public" correction is the enemy of connection. Learn how to foster a safe environment where kids feel secure enough to solve problems creatively.

• Encourage each other: The power of shifting from nagging to noticing and how validating effort and contribution—rather than just results—can be a game changer.

• Be responsible for getting your needs met: Model responsibility by clearly communicating your own needs instead of expecting mind-reading.

• Be willing to experiment: Trade rigidity for curiosity. If a strategy fails, simply "reboot" with a new approach.

🛠️ This Week's Challenge

Don't try to overhaul everything at once! Pick just one guideline and apply it to a high-stress transition this week (like the morning rush or meal time). Notice how the atmosphere shifts when you apply one of the guidelines.

• The End of Mind-Reading: Are you waiting for your family to "just know" what you need? We talk about modeling radical responsibility by communicating your needs clearly and kindly.

• The Power of the Reboot: Trade rigidity for curiosity. If a plan fails, you haven't failed—you're just in an experiment. Learn how to "reboot" without the guilt.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Need advice on any parenting issue? We'd love to hear your family guidelines. We are always here to answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Check out Alyson Schafer's encouraging podcast: Parenting the Adlerian Way

✅ Learn more about Dr. Karen John's work

👀 Watch Karen John's 2020 presentation on democratic leadership here.

♥️ Join our New Neighborhood: Circle In Online Community

🧰Pick up a Family Meeting Toolkit if you don't already have one!

📖Read Paige's short blog: An Ode to Encouragement

Stay Connected

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Parenting isn't a destination; it's a voyage. In this episode, Marjie and Paige explore how to build a 'sturdy ship' for your family's journey, swapping reactive parenting for a shared compass of dignity and mutual respect.

Most of us set sail using either a "replica" of our own upbringing or a "reaction" against it. To build a truly flexible parenting vessel, we must move beyond our own anxieties and learn to respond to the actual needs of the situation.

The 4 Pillars of a Sturdy Ship

• Reframe the Need: Shift from "How do I feel?" to "What does the situation need?" to help your family move away from shame or blame to working together.

• Dignity is Non-Negotiable: Treat your child with the same respect you'd offer a friend because every person on the ship—parent and child alike—is equally deserving of dignity.

• Listen to Behavior: Look beneath the surface of "misbehavior" to find the unmet need; quiet yourself, listen for the need instead of reacting to the symptom.

• Encouragement Over Criticism: Positive change only grows from strengths, never from weaknesses. Throw away the "red pen" of perfectionism and focus on building muscle through noticing effort and strengths.

The Lifelong Task

Marjie reminds us that growth happens throughout our life journey, not a task to be finished. Paige encourages us to stop obsessing over our children's "life tasks" and instead modeling what it means to be a caring, resilient adult.

Ready to steady the ship? If you've spent too long exhausted by the daily tug-of-war, this conversation is an invitation to drop the rope. Tune in to discover how to stop reacting to the storms and start steering with more intention. You'll walk away with more than just tips—you'll gain the tools to build a family culture where everyone feels seen, respected, and ready to navigate family life together.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Need advice on how to get started? We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Worth a listen: 018 Finding Strengths: The Essence of Encouragement

♥️ Quick reminder about what Encouragement is (and isn't) Ode to Encouragement

🧰Pick up a Family Meeting Toolkit if you don't already have one!

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

Do you feel overwhelmed trying to sort through tons of parenting advice—from "gentle parenting" to warnings about "helicopter parenting"? You're not alone! This episode reveals our powerful, comprehensive framework that cuts through the noise and provides you with real-world solutions that solve problems while building the relationship with your child..

In this episode, they share the powerful principles that form the bedrock of everything we do at Family Leadership Center through our Circle In podcast, blog, classes and coaching.

It's not just one magical trick. It's a respectful framework—inspired by Adlerian psychology—that gives you the practical tools to meet the needs of the situation and set up a dignified, mutually respectful environment at home.

✨ What You'll Discover (and How It Can Change Your Family Life)

You'll hear personal stories and examples of how to shift from feeling reactive to parenting confidently, not punitively.

1. The Power of "Private Logic" (And Why You Need to Just Listen)

3. Strong Emotions Are a Learning Experience, Not a Crisis

4. Life's Too Important to Take Seriously

5. It's Not Just Nature or Nurture—It's Your Creative Self

➡️ Listen now to understand why this framework is the reason we've seen incredible, lasting success with families, and how you can start building a truly respectful and effective relationship with your kids.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. What questions come up for you? Want to know more about Adler? We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Parenting is too important to take Seriously! Listen to Episode 021: Barbara Fairfield: Less Drama, More Love: They Key to Peaceful Parenting

♥️ Read Paige's Parenting Journey she calls, The Path of Parenting

💻 Start 2026 off right with your very own Circle In Family Meeting Kit

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

Does Family Conflict Have You Feeling Drained? 🔋

We've all been there: a simple disagreement turns into a "shame spiral," leaving everyone feeling exhausted instead of heard. But what if those tricky moments were actually the secret to a more resilient home?

In this week's podcast, we learn how to flip the script on conflict. Instead of seeing family problems as roadblocks, we're showing you how to treat them as "muscle-building" exercises for your heart and home.

💪 The Essentials: Building Your Problem-Solving Muscle

Problem-solving in your home stems from courage and fostering a mistake-friendly house. This confidence is built through consistent, low-stakes practice.

If we want our kids to trust the process, they need to know their voices carry weight. That's why we recommend starting family meetings by tackling the kids' problems first. When you consider and implement their ideas, you teach them:

• Their voice matters.

• They are capable problem-solvers.

• Mistakes are for learning, not for shaming.

🔥 The takeaway

Problem-solving isn't a talent you're born with—it's a practice you grow. By starting small and staying consistent, you aren't just fixing a "problem"; you're building a family that knows how to work through a challenge together.

Tune in to start building your family's resilience today!

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. What questions or thoughts come up for you? Please share any original, or exciting ways you solve family problems. We are always looking for fresh ideas. We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🎧 Re-listen to Episode 10: Whose Problem is it Anyway? Understanding Problem Ownership

♥️ Our Family Meeting Kit is AVAILABLE! Order yours today.

👂Shhh . . .Just Listen, a quick reminder on how to listen (it's actually effortful).

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

Are you the sole family scheduler? Drowning in "Mom/Dad, what are we doing?" questions? You're not alone! Being the only one managing the schedule can lead to stress, chaos, and missed opportunities for connection.

This week, we reveal the simple hack that transforms your family dynamic: the Family Calendar. 🗓️

When you talk about the schedule together and give everyone a voice, you don't just cut down on questions—you increase connection, teach responsibility, and boost cooperation.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• Why being the "Schedule Hero" actually hurts family teamwork.

• How to use a shared calendar to intentionally carve out time for everyone's needs (school, work), wants (activities), and wishes (downtime).

• Practical tips for teaching responsibility in your family.

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. What questions or thoughts come up for you? Please share any original, or exciting ways you use and review the family calendar. We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

🌮 Read more about Paige's Recipe for a Taco Night

♥️ Our Family Meeting Kit is AVAILABLE! Order yours today.

👥 Online Community: A supportive space where you get: expert answers to your questions, live workshops, coaching, downloadable content, and more!

🧘🏼 Join Paige's Self-Care for Parents online workshop. Self-care isn't selfish, it's a powerful parenting tool. December 17th, 12-1pm ET via Zoom.

Stay Connected

📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter

⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter

With the holidays fast approaching, oftentimes family time shifts into high gear—and that means a perfect chance to connect!

This week, we're giving you a simple, powerful tool called the Encouragement Question. It's built on a core idea: when kids (or even adults!) act out, it's often because they feel discouraged.

While it's a standard piece of your Family Meeting, it's actually a superpower you can use anywhere. Encouragement Questions are simply practice for listening without commenting. Just focus on hearing their thoughts, not shaping them. 🧘‍♀️

Quick Tips for a Great Question:

• Keep it Open: Your question needs to be open-ended (there are no right or wrong answers!).

• No Pressure Zone: Encourage people to pass if they don't want to answer—zero pressure! 🙅‍♂️

Why This Works

This low-stakes activity helps everyone—from the toddler to the teens—feel heard, valued, and understood, building mattering in real-time. By genuinely making space for silly thoughts or deep feelings, you send a powerful signal: who they are today is completely enough. ❤️

Pro Tip: Jot down hilarious or insightful answers! It's fun to look back at their wisdom later. ✍️

Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. We would love to hear your original encouragement questions so we can share with our listeners. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org.

🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes. Please email us at questions@familyleadershipcenter.org

Hosts

Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center

Paige Trevor, Parent Coach

Special thanks to editor Max Cotter, Marike Pienaar, and Wendy Tracy

Resources

📋Grab your PDF of Encouragement Questions

🎧 Louise and Marjie talk about the Essence of Encouragement
♥️ We are getting rave reviews, order your kit for the holidays now! Family Meeting Kit is AVAILABLE!

💻 Want more Positive Parenting Tips? Join Paige for a 1 hour online workshop November 19th.

🎁 Join our annual giving campaign so we can widen our Circle.

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