• 71: Why Can't My Partner See the Good?
    Sep 25 2025
    Why is it so hard for a betrayed partner to see the positive changes you’ve made? This week Luke is again joined by Alana Gordon (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose Recovery Services, and president of APSATS) and together they delve into the complexities of betrayal trauma healing.Listen in as Luke gives a powerful analogy of hiking with a mountain lion to explain the brain’s constant search for emotional safety. Tune in to learn: The necessity of consistent positive actionsThe importance of letting go of instant validationHow to truly rebuild trust over timeChapters01:17 Understanding Betrayal Trauma01:55 The Mountain Lion Analogy04:11 Emotional Safety and Trust08:57 Advice for Individuals Seeking RecoveryRegister Now!Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Apply for scholarships here. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    11 mins
  • 70: What Does Real Recovery Look Like? Part 2
    Sep 18 2025
    Are you struggling to know what real recovery and change looks like? This week Alana Gordon (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose, and president of APSATS) is back to continue the discussion about red flags and green flags when it comes to recovery. Listen in to hear about boundaries, lifestyle shifts, and empathy. Learn to identify toxic patterns, embrace healthy changes, and cultivate deep empathy for yourself and others as you heal.Listen to Part 1 here!Tune in to learn:Why real recovery requires changing your environment and relationships, not just your behaviorHow to rid yourself of the “what about me” mentalityThe difference between performative and genuine empathyChapters01:21 Boundaries and Lifestyle Shifts03:48 Rationalizing Risky Environments11:53 External Promises vs. Internal Guardrails13:19 Commitment to Safety Over Old Patterns16:47 Healthy Rhythms and Self-Care20:45 Boundaries and Values28:37 Empathy and Attunement33:45 Heartfelt EmpathyRegister Now!Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    42 mins
  • 69: What Does Real Recovery Look Like?
    Sep 11 2025
    Are you truly in recovery, or are you just performing? This week Luke welcomes Alana Gordon to the podcast (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose, and president of APSATS). Together they explore the difference between surface-level recovery and authentic transformation in this no-holds-barred conversation. They reveal the green flags and red flags that separate real healing from going through the motions—and why the work you resist most might be exactly what you need.Listen to learn:The difference between "being in recovery" vs. "working recovery"Red flags like selective effort and performing only under pressureGreen flag behaviors that show authentic recovery progressChapters01:05 Introducing Alana04:53 Honesty in Recovery15:38 Sobriety and Accountability18:53 Selective Effort24:46 Performing Under Pressure30:53 The Power of Personal PowerRegister Now!Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    43 mins
  • 68: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Conflict
    Sep 4 2025
    Do you feel like since the betrayal, your relationship with your partner is like a house you are carefully trying to rebuild and your partner often comes in with a sledgehammer to “test the walls”? This week Luke explores why this might happen and what that means for healing. This episode may completely shift how you view conflict in your relationships.Listen to learn:The House Analogy - why your partner may appear to be trying to destroy what you are buildingYour Conflict Blueprint - how your family of origin shaped your relationship with conflictReframing Conflict - why conflict is the doorway to intimacy, not something to avoidChapters01:35 The House Analogy03:54 The Sledgehammer08:51 Understanding Conflict and Its Impact09:23 Conflict Isn’t the Enemy11:41 Family of OriginRegister Now!Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    19 mins
  • 67: What Real Recovery Looks Like to Your Partner
    Aug 28 2025
    When you’re in recovery but nothing seems to be helping your relationship, it can feel like you’re powerless to create real change. This week Luke welcomes Isy Williams (fellow Choose Recovery Services coach) and together they reveal what betrayed partners are actually looking for (and it’s not perfection!).Listen to learn: The difference between consistency and perfectionHow to shift from external motivation to values-based recoveryFour specific signs betrayed partners need to see to rebuild trustChapters01:02 Introducing Isy Wiliams04:49 Deconstructing Lies in Recovery17:14 The Importance of Consistency 22:55 Perfection vs. Consistency25:38 Grace and Patience31:51 Importance of Self-Driven RecoveryRegister Now!Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    41 mins
  • 66: Free Will in Addiction Recovery
    Aug 21 2025
    Do you ever wonder why you keep repeating the same destructive patterns despite wanting to change? This week Luke tackles a huge question in recovery: Do we actually have free will, or is everything predetermined by our past trauma and brain chemistry? This isn't just philosophical debate—it's about understanding what actually needs to be in place for real transformation to happen.What You'll Learn:The difference between free will and determinism, and why most people get stuck in the extremesThe 5 essential requirements that must be present for true choice to even be possibleHow to reframe recovery from "just try harder" to creating the right conditions for sustainable changeChapters01:02 Free Will vs Determinism04:38 Exploring the Extremes and Middle Ground07:26 Requirements for Free Will13:45 Questions to PonderRegister Now!Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    15 mins
  • 65: Breaking the Shell - How Men's Intensives Unlock Embodied Healing
    Aug 14 2025
    You know the recovery scripts by heart, but when your partner is triggered, it still feels performative and hollow. Sound familiar?In this powerful episode, Luke welcomes Hali Roderick (fellow Choose To Be coach) and Tim, a participant from the recent Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive. Tim shares how somatic work and community vulnerability can crack open the shells we've built around our hearts, moving us from performative recovery to authentic healing.What You'll Learn:Why recovery scripts fall short and how to embody real empathyHow body-based healing breaks through emotional barriersWhy vulnerability in community accelerates healingChapters01:06 Meet Hali and Tim03:58 The Purpose of the Help Her Heal Intensive09:36 Somatic Work: The Key to Healing16:15 The Value of Community20:41 The Nervous System’s Response to Trauma24:20 Being Ready For Change26:39 Family of Origin AnalogyRegister Now!Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Worthy By Design Women’s Retreat - This four-day retreat is for women ready to reconnect with their authentic selves and step into their unique design. Experience Human Design exploration, somatic healing, breathwork, sound baths, and sisterhood in the stunning Utah mountains. Perfect for any and all women seeking renewal, clarity, and joy. Retreat is September 14th-17th in Mapleton, UT. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    34 mins
  • 64: Understanding Attachment Wounds in Sexual Addiction Recovery
    Aug 7 2025
    Ever wondered why certain behaviors feel impossible to break, even when you desperately want to change? In this eye-opening episode, Luke and guest Laura Fisher dive deep into the hidden world of attachment wounds and how childhood experiences shape our adult relationships and coping mechanisms. You'll discover why recovery isn't a destination but an ongoing journey—like walking up a down escalator that never stops moving.Laura Fisher is a fellow coach at Choose Recovery Services. Learn more about her here and book a session with her here. Listen to Learn:The importance of understanding your attachment styleHow trauma can create sexual addiction patternsWhy recovery requires consistent, ongoing effortChapters01:09 Welcoming Laura01:44 Understanding Attachment and Its Impact06:44 Attachment Wounds and Their Manifestations 18:52 Rewiring the Nervous System25:31 Somatic HealingRegister Now!Our next men’s intensive is coming up! Unmasked: Path to Authentic Masculinity⁠⁠ is a four-day in-person experience designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on September 16th-19th. Learn more and register⁠ ⁠HERE⁠⁠.Revive and Thrive Women’s Intensive - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Aug 26-29 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Sign up here.Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round .Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Available as a support group or a self-paced course.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free!Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community.Resilient Teens - Ongoing support group for teens ages 15-18 whose parents have experienced betrayal in their marriage.Adult Children Uniting for Healing - Ongoing support group for adult children of parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage and who need support navigating their own experience with betrayal.Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com
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    30 mins