Books That Can Help and Why...[Smalley] Part 4

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Part 4 in the series on the book The DNA of Parent-Teen Relationships.

Chapter 5. How to Argue with Teenagers and Come Out as Closer Friends

5,000 adults asked what they wished their parents had done differently during times of conflict
1. They wished their parents had listened more
2. They wished they could have talked about feelings more.
3. They wished they had talked to their parents more
Begin by listening - James 1:19
1. Sometimes we men don't know what to say to connect to our children's emotions - listening is a huge part of the battle
Allow their emotion to touch you
1. Take time to feel their pain
2. Take time to feel their sadness
Four destructive ways to argue
1. Continually withdrawing from an argument
2. Letting them escalate into hurtful name calling fights
3. Belittling or invalidating each other during an argument
4. Believing that a family member is tryin to hurt, frustrate, or cause fear on purpose.
Drive-thru talking!

Chapter 7 Democracy can bring responsibility to your home

This is the chapter where they talk about making a contract
1. See p. 118 for the why have one
2. And p. 118 on how to develop one
p. 125 They give advice on Dating

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