Questions to Ask Yourself

1. Am I continuing to engage in “first-family” activities with my ex (even though we’re divorced), mainly because I’m trying to guard my children from experiencing any disappointment or discomfort?
2. Have I noticed any confusion or resentment from my children when they observe our Perfect Pal relationship and compare it to what’s actually happened in their lives?
3. Do I feel compelled to continue as Perfect Pals because I’m worried that if I don’t, my ex will react poorly, possibly lash out, turn the kids against me, or punish me in some way? And so I keep showing up as a close friend and confidant just to avoid retribution?
4. Because of our Perfect Pal dynamic, do I sometimes abdicate or agree with my ex, even when I have a different opinion?
5. Do you (or your new partner) harbor resentment toward your ex because they seem to have a lot of power and control over parenting decisions? Do you end up feeling unheard, devalued, or dismissed? Does maintaining your Perfect Pal relationship seem like it's more important than having an equal voice in your children's lives?

What's your next step in moving toward 'Cooperative Colleagues'?

Resources

• Episode 226. How Two Homes Raise Kids that Thrive: A Co-Parenting Blueprint for Caring Parents [with Jay & Tammy Daughtry]
• Episode 71. Helping Kids Cope with Painful Holiday Disappointment
• Co-Parenting Works! Helping Your Children Thrive After Divorce by Tammy Daughtry
• Connect directly with Jay and Tammy: CoParenting International
• CLICK HERE to get FREE resources from CoParenting International
• CLICK HERE for more Episodes on Healthy Co-Parenting

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!

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Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

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Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

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If you’re co-parenting between two homes, you already know: your kids are watching everything. How you talk about their other parent, handle handoffs, respond to schedule changes, and react when the ex sends that text. These everyday issues impact and shape your children’s well-being.

In this episode, we sit down with co-parenting experts Jay & Tammy Daughtry, who are both adult children of divorce and co-parents themselves. They share their TEAMM mindset: The End Adult Matters Most. It's a powerful reminder that your co-parenting relationship today is shaping the adult your child will become tomorrow.

As marriage and family therapists, Jay and Tammy deeply understand the long-term impact of post-divorce dynamics on kids. They offer compassionate guidance to help you move from feeling stuck, reactive, or alone and instead adopt a calm, intentional, “business partner” approach to co-parenting.

You’ll walk away with hopeful, real-life tools to steady your own emotions, protect your kids from unnecessary emotional burdens, and take small, intentional steps toward a healthier co-parenting partnership so your kids experience stability, security, and are free to love both of their parents.

You'll Discover:

• Practical ideas for building alignment, handling hand-offs, and honoring your child’s divided heart
• Why “The End Adult Matters Most” changes everything
• Why “emotionally baby-proofing” is essential for children of divorce
• The benefits of a business-meeting approach to co-parenting (TEAMM meetings)
• How to approach an uncooperative ex

Resources from this Episode:

• Co-Parenting Works! Helping Your Children Thrive After Divorce by Tammy Daughtry
• Connect directly with Jay and Tammy: Co-Parenting International
• CLICK HERE to get FREE resources from Co-Parenting International
• Episode 84. How to Cope with Sadness, Anxiety and Longing While Your Kids Are Gone
• CLICK HERE for more Episodes on Healthy Co-Parenting

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!

We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

You want this season to feel special for your blended family. But instead of joy, you’re feeling grumpy, anxious, or even a little hopeless. Schedule changes, empty chairs at the table, tension with an ex, and slow bonding in step-relationships can make gratitude feel out of reach. Deep down you might be wondering, “How am I supposed to be thankful when life really hurts?”

In this episode, we'll sit with you in that question. And we'll introduce three simple “gratitude lenses” that will help you focus on what’s good without denying what’s hard.

Through honest stories from our personal journey, including Kim’s long season of walking with Annika through addiction and into recovery, you’ll see how gratitude can keep you anchored so that you can show up well as you face tough realities.

You’ll also learn how to hold grief and gratitude at the same time while guarding against three common negativity traps that quietly drain hope and resilience. By the end, you’ll have one small, clear next step to begin practicing gratitude in real life, right where you are, in this season and beyond.

You'll Discover:

• Three gratitude lenses tailored for real life, you can start using today
• Simple gratitude habits that can make a positive difference
• How to hold grief and gratitude simultaneously - without having to pretend
• The 3 “P” traps that crush resilience—and how you can resist them

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 42. Our Challenging Story of Parental Alienation - And 6 Tips for You
• Episode 84. Coping with Sadness, Anxiety, and Longing when the Kids are Gone
• Episode 154. What practical and Emotional Shifts Can You Expect as You Blend a Family?
• Episode 14. 3 Helpful Steps to Overcome Your 'Perfectionist' Ideals and Disappointments
• Episode 202. How to Break Free From Painful Cycles and Enjoy Deeper Levels of Intimacy [with Ron and Nan Deal]
• Episode 189. Bringing Hope to the Realities of Grief: A Path to Understanding and Healing [with Krista St-Germain]
• Episode 187. Basics for Blending: How to Tolerate and Manage Discomfort and Distress (Part 1 of 2)
• Episode 51. Overcoming Discouragement (Part 1 of 3)
• Episode 99. Moving Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret
• Episode 160. A 4-Part Framework for Achievable Expectations and How to Live Them Out
• Episode 220. From Marginalized to Mainstream: How to Reclaim Confidence
• Episode 215. Does your Relationship Feel Hopeless? Why Giving Up Might Not be the Answer?

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know!

We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

Subscribe or Follow the Show

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet? If not, we want to encourage you to do that today so you don't miss a single episode.

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

The holidays can turn magical…

…or messy! This is especially true when two households, multiple calendars, and big expectations collide.

You want peace, memories, and connection; the problem is last-minute schedule changes, mixed emotions, and the pressure to please everyone.

We’ve been there. In this conversation, we'll offer practical guidance with a simple plan: five respectful negotiation tips for working with the other home and a kid-centered framework to navigate disappointment when plans don’t line up.

This year, choose to take a proactive approach so that you can lower tension, avoid drama, and model resilience. The stakes are high. Painful interactions, confusion, guilt, and your kid's sense of stability are all on the line.

What does success look like? A calmer season where your family can experience peace and memorable moments, even when things aren't “perfect".

You'll Discover:

• Five negotiation tips for co-parenting that lead to better opportunities for healthy cooperation.
• Why predictability matters for kids moving between homes, and how early, respectful communication increases collaboration and peace.
• How to prevent heartbreak by finalizing plans with the other home before sharing exciting news with children.
• The "Five A's" framework for helping kids manage disappointment
• A mindset reframe: missed activities and events aren’t failed parenting, they’re an opportunity to build emotional resilience and solid character.

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 67. The Best Co-Parenting Strategy That You Already Know
• Episode 222. Step-by-Step Guide: Facing Painful Pushback Without Making Things Worse (Part 1 of 2)
• Episode 33. How to Cope with a Difficult Ex and Protect Your Ex
• Episode 112. 3 Dangerous Dynamics That Can Destroy Co-Parenting - And Hurt The Kids
• Episode 113. How to Respond When Being Disregarded, Devalued or Dismissed by Your Former Spouse
• Episode 188. Basics for Blending: How to Tolerate and Manage Discomfort and Distress (Part 2 of 2)

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

You’re the parent, or stepparent, who wants less conflict and more connection. But a child’s resistance, sarcasm, isolation, or hurtful words, such as: “you’re not my dad,” can derail plans and result in hurtful interactions.

We’ve been there.

In part 2 of this mini-series, you'll discover how to respond well in tough moments of pushback by using John Gottman’s 5 steps of Emotion Coaching. You’ll hear us role-play around real-life pushback when a child is competing for a parent's love, making accusations and threats, and behaving oppositionally toward a stepparent.

We'll offer a better way to manage those moments with words that help kids feel seen, heard, and understood. We'll also show you the best approach for addressing poor behavior and setting boundaries.

The plan is simple: notice the emotion, treat it as an opportunity, listen and validate, help label feelings, then set limits while exploring solutions. Practice this, and you’ll be surprised at how you can lower the tension, build relational safety, and strengthen your connection with a struggling child.

When pushback hits, it is possible to move away from reacting in ways that don't help and instead, create an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect, and real connection in your home.

You'll Discover:

• The 5 Emotion Coaching steps from John Gottman (with wording you can steal) and why each step matters.
• How to decode what’s going on underneath pushback and respond in a way that helps your child move through pain, loss, anger, sadness, and confusion.
• When and how to set behavioral boundaries so that kids are more open to receiving and responding well.
• A simple script for stepparents to defuse “You’re not my dad/mom” moments while building mutual respect and understanding.
• When and how to engage in problem-solving with your child and foster real buy-in, confidence, and trust.

Resources from this Episode:

• Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John Gottman
• Episode 222. Step-by-Step Guide: Facing Painful Pushback Without Making Things Worse [Part 1]
• Episode 194. Powerful Tips for Effectively Connecting with Your Angry or Distant Child [with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker]
• Episode 195. Connecting with Kim's HARD Child - Facing the Challenges of Parental Alienation
• Episode 210. Is Your Child Pulling Away? Here's How to Respond with Wisdom and Love
• Episode 211. 8 Warning Signs Your Ex is Manipulating Your Child's Heart and Mind
• Episode 92. At a loss and feeling defeated because the kids stubbornly refuse to blend?
• Episode 132. How do loss and grief impact blended family integration?
• Episode 189. Bringing Hope to the Realities of Grief: A Path to Understanding and Healing [with Krista St-Germain]

Ready for some extra support? Schedule your free coaching call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

We know that pushback moments can sting. Eye rolls, refusals, accusations, or shutting down are all things kids in blended families can tend to do. It’s easy for parents and stepparents to appease, minimize, deflect, control, try to 'fix-it' or simply avoid pushback (we’ve done it too).

In this two-part series, we act as your guides and name the real struggle beneath kids' hurtful behavior: loss, grief, and fear that come with blending. Then we introduce a clear plan: Emotion Coaching.

You’ll hear real-life scenarios, why common reactions backfire, and what to do instead to help your child feel seen and supported. The win? A calmer home, stronger bonds, and practical steps forward.

The risk of doing nothing? Escalating conflict, shutdown, resentment, and power struggles. If you’re ready to respond to your child's pushback with calm, clarity, and care, this conversation is for you.

You'll Discover:

• The four common Pushback Predicaments: competing for love, accusations/threats, oppositional attitude, and loss & grief. And what’s really going on underneath.
• Why appeasing, minimizing, deflecting, defending, controlling, or avoiding often makes things worse, and what kids hear when we react in those ways.
• How Emotion Coaching helps kids identify and name big feelings, regulate their emotions, and become receptive to changing their behavior. Plus, the blended-family benefits (safety, trust, and respect).
• A simple reflection challenge to build awareness around your typical reaction patterns and your child’s reactions to your reactions, so that you can choose a better way to respond next time.

Continued Learning on this Topic:

• Episode 154. What practical and emotional shifts can you expect as you blend your family?
• Episode 213. Discover How to Better Understand and Connect with Children of Divorce [with Lauren Reitsema]
• Episode 159. How to Stay Hopeful as a Stepparent When You're Continually Rejected and Hurt
• Episode 37. Why do kids struggle to accept their stepparent?
• Episode 039. How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Stepkids

Ready for some extra support

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-) Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!