In this episode of Between Two Psychs, we explore the realities of early years provision and the incredible work practitioners do despite increasing demands and limited resources. Drawing on experiences from educational psychology and early settings, we reflect on the pressures staff face and the psychological foundations that help young children feel safe, connected and ready to learn.

A central theme is “reach before you teach” the idea that relationships, emotional safety, and connection sit at the heart of effective early years practice. We discuss how behaviour often communicates underlying needs such as anxiety, sensory differences or communication challenges, and why play remains essential for cognitive, social and emotional development.

Alongside these reflections, we share practical strategies that support engagement and independence, including paired reading, attention buckets, visual timetables and pictorial communication systems.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The challenges and strengths within the early years sector
• Why relationships and emotional safety underpin learning
• Understanding behaviour through function and developmental needs
• The importance of play in cognitive and social growth
• Practical strategies to support attention, communication and routine
• How predictability and co-regulation help children engage and learn

Why This Episode Matters

Early years practice lays the foundation for lifelong learning. This episode highlights that meaningful progress starts with connection, regulation and realistic expectations for both children and the adults supporting them. When children feel safe and understood, learning becomes possible and when practitioners feel supported, they are better able to meet the complex needs within modern early years settings.

Connect with Mike Lane

Website: https://www.ridgewaypsychology.co.uk/
LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/michael-lane-4304a3123

Connect with Me

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dradammcartney/
Website: https://www.dradammccartney.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.AdamMcCartney

In this episode of Between Two Psychs, we explore a question many educators quietly wrestle with: why do some children still struggle to engage, even when lessons are well planned, differentiated, and thoughtfully delivered?

Drawing on classroom observations, psychological research, and real conversations with teachers, we unpack what it really means to be ready to learn. We look beyond lesson plans and curriculum demands to the emotional, physiological and relational factors that shape how children show up in classrooms and how teachers are supported (or stretched) in holding all of this at once.

We reflect on the impact of stress, cognitive overload, post-pandemic baselines and rising expectations and why learning can’t be separated from nervous-system state, safety

and trust. At the heart of the conversation is a simple but powerful idea: learning sits on top of regulation, belonging and relationships.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why strong lesson planning isn’t always enough to secure engagement
• How stress shifts the brain from learning to survival
• The impact of post-pandemic stress on children’s readiness to learn
• Dopamine, overstimulation and the learning brain
• Bruce Perry’s work and why emotional state drives cognitive access
• Polyvagal theory and the nervous system’s constant search for safety

Why This Episode Matters

This episode invites us to rethink what “preparedness for learning” really means. It reminds us that learning is not just a cognitive task it is a relational, emotional and physiological process.

When children feel safe, regulated and understood, they are far more able to tolerate challenge, uncertainty and moments of struggle. And when teachers are supported psychologically as well as professionally they are better able to hold the complex demands of modern classrooms.

Preparedness for learning doesn’t start with the lesson.
It starts with relationships, regulation and realistic expectations for children and for the adults who teach them.

Connect with Mike Lane

Website: https://www.ridgewaypsychology.co.uk/
LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/michael-lane-4304a3123

Connect with Me

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dradammcartney/
Website: https://www.dradammccartney.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.AdamMcCartney

The transition into Key Stage 3 is often described as a fresh start but for many young people, it’s where things quietly begin to unravel.

In this episode of Between Two Psychs, we explore why the move from primary to secondary school can be such a vulnerable point, particularly for students who sit on the margins. We unpack the steady rise in exclusions between Years 7 and 9 and ask a deeper question: what does this transition feel like psychologically for children and what are schools unintentionally missing?

We talk about the shift from one secure relationship to many, from nurture to independence and from feeling known to feeling lost in a much bigger system. Along the way, we explore concepts like learned helplessness, acceptance, autonomy and happiness and why behaviour is often a signal of unmet needs rather than defiance.

This is a conversation about connection, belonging and helping young people develop a sense of direction inside a system that can feel overwhelming.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why exclusions rise so sharply during Key Stage 3
• The psychological impact of moving from one key adult to many
• How independence, when introduced too quickly, can increase distress
• Learned helplessness and its link to disengagement and EBSA
• Why “promoting happiness” may be more useful than “reducing exclusions”
• The role of acceptance, shared identity and belonging in student wellbeing
• Why some students thrive in transition while others struggle
• Starting transition work earlier, including the role of Year 5
• Evidence based supports like Friends for Life and Coping Cat
• Using thoughts feelings behaviour models to support reflection and goal-setting
• Community-focused goals versus purely academic targets
• How small-group and coaching conversations can prevent exclusion
• Why teacher reflection, supervision and support matter just as much as student intervention

Why This Episode Matters

Key Stage 3 is often the most overlooked phase in education but it’s where identity, belonging and disengagement begin to crystallise.

This episode invites educators, leaders, and psychologists to look beyond behaviour and systems and instead focus on acceptance, connection and purpose. When young people can see where they fit, feel supported rather than dropped, and are helped to develop their own internal goals, school becomes something they can stay connected to not something they need to escape from.

Because behaviour is rarely about refusal.
More often, it’s about not feeling seen, safe or accepted.

Connect with Mike Lane

Website: https://www.ridgewaypsychology.co.uk/
LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/michael-lane-4304a3123

Connect with Me

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dradammcartney/
Website: https://www.dradammccartney.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.AdamMcCartney

In this episode, we sit down with Gillian Airey Goodwin to explore what burnout really looks like in education and why understanding our own psychology may be key to keeping educators in the profession.

Drawing on Gillian’s Master’s research in mental health and wellbeing, alongside more than 30 years of experience in education, we reflect on the emotional demands teachers face, the role of emotional intelligence, and why coping alone is no longer enough. We explore how resentment, pressure and constant accountability can slowly erode wellbeing even in highly skilled, experienced professionals.

Together, we discuss why structured reflection, psychological safety and meaningful supervision may be essential for educators to thrive, not just survive.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What burnout looks like beyond exhaustion
• The role of emotional intelligence in managing pressure
• Why emotionally intelligent teachers still leave the profession
• Internal vs external support models in schools
• Trust, judgment and fear of being seen as “not coping”
• Why relationships with pupils keep educators going

Why This Episode Matters

This episode invites us to rethink how we support educators. When teachers understand their own psychology, feel safe to reflect, and are genuinely listened to, wellbeing improves and so does the experience of children in the classroom.

Educator wellbeing isn’t a “nice to have”. It’s fundamental to ethical decision-making, positive relationships and sustainable education systems.

Connect with Gillian Airey Goodwin (Guest)

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gillian-airey-goodwin-b9b401239/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gillianaireygoodwin?igsh=ZGsxd3NzMXh3MHN1

Connect with Mike Lane

Website: https://www.ridgewaypsychology.co.uk/
LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/michael-lane-4304a3123

Connect with Adam McCartney

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dradammcartney/
Website: https://www.dradammccartney.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.AdamMcCartne

In this episode, we explore why behaviour systems work for many students but not for those who sit outside the middle of the bell curve and what changes when we genuinely listen to a child’s story. We look at how timing, nervous-system regulation, curiosity, and relational repair help us move from confrontation to connection.

We also reflect on the post-COVID social gap, why some young people struggle to engage with traditional approaches, and how simple relational moments greetings, attunement, and authenticity create safety in small but powerful ways.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why some students don’t respond to standard behaviour approaches

• How dysregulation and shutdown affect when (and how) we talk

• “Connection before correction” as a foundation for repair

• A clear structure for restorative conversations

• Using thoughts–feelings–behaviour models to guide reflection

• The role of affirmation versus confrontation

• Practical tools: emotion coaching, comic strips, draw-and-talk, gaming-based dialogue

• How curiosity lowers threat and builds trust

• Why playfulness and authenticity matter in relational moments

  
  

Why This Episode Matters

This episode invites us to rethink behaviour support through a relational lens. When we create space for young people to tell their story, conflict becomes a chance to understand, repair, and strengthen trust. Instead of focusing on control or consequences, we focus on connection, timing, and insight, because real change happens when students feel safe, heard, and valued.

When we honour a child’s story, we open the door to growth, for them and for us.

Connect with Mike Lane

Website: https://www.ridgewaypsychology.co.uk/
LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/michael-lane-4304a3123

Connect with Me

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dradammcartney/
Website: https://www.dradammccartney.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.AdamMcCartney

In this episode of Between Two Psychs, we explore one of the most essential aspects of classroom life: Bonding and Attunement.

We look at why relationships come before learning, how children “borrow” our nervous systems, and the practical ways we can help students move from emotional overwhelm into the calm, thinking brain.

Drawing on attachment theory, polyvagal theory, developmental psychology, and real school examples, we break down what bonding and attunement look like in practice and why they matter now more than ever.

What We Cover

1. Why Relationships Matter

• How we, as teachers and adults, often become key attachment figures

• Why secure relationships help children feel safe enough to learn

• Why relational practice is vital in today’s education landscape

2. Brains & Learning

• A clear explanation of polyvagal theory

• How the emotional and thinking brain interact

• What the amygdala, insula, and cingulate do during stress

• Why many children sit in emotional mode longer than we think

3. Attunement Skills

• How to see behaviour as communication

• How to tune into the message behind behaviour

• Why naming emotions builds trust and internal templates

• Why curiosity strengthens connection

4. Building Bonds

• How bonding differs from attunement

• Why we work with “connection before correction”

• How low-demand, shared moments help students trust us

• Why shared experiences strengthen classroom relationships

Key Ideas We Discuss

• Attachment theory

• Polyvagal theory

• Co-regulation & self-regulation

• PACE model

• Transference & counter-transference

• Carl Rogers’ relational principles

• Mirroring, matching & pacing

• Motivational Interviewing (OARS)

Why This Episode Matters

Learning can only happen when children feel safe, calm, connected, and understood.

When we prioritise relationships, we make learning possible.
This episode shows why relational practice isn’t optional, it’s foundational.

Connect with Mike Lane

Website: https://www.ridgewaypsychology.co.uk/
LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/michael-lane-4304a3123

Connect with Me
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dradammcartney/
Website: https://www.dradammccartney.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.AdamMcCartney

In this episode of Between Two Psychs, Adam McCartney and Mike Lane explore one of the most fundamental yet often overlooked aspects of school life: Individual Differences.

From personality traits and identity development to group dynamics, belonging and routine, they unpack how children understand themselves, how they fit into a group, and how teachers shape that journey every single day.

Drawing on psychological frameworks including the Big Five personality model, Self-Determination Theory, Tajfel’s social identity research, Bandura’s social learning theory, Bruner’s narrative identity, and early years work by Rogers and Dan Siegel, Adam and Mike show how inclusion is built in the subtle everyday moments: acceptance, modelling, routine, and relationships.

This episode moves beyond labels or “learning styles” and examines the deeper question behind them:

How do we create classrooms where every child feels seen, valued and able to be themselves without losing the cohesion that helps groups thrive?

Through real school casework, practical examples, and warm reflection, they explore the challenges teachers face in balancing thirty personalities, diverse needs, and a curriculum and the surprising power of shared experiences, role play, collaborative tasks, and even simple rituals to build identity and belonging.In this episode, we discuss:

✨ Why “individual differences” are really about identity, personality, and development
✨ How the Big Five traits show up in everyday classroom behaviours
✨ Why unconditional positive regard helps children feel safe, grounded, and ready to learn
✨ How threat, trust and emotional safety connect to identity formation
✨ What in-group/out-group dynamics look like in real classrooms
✨ How social challenges escalate and how relational approaches reduce conflict
✨ Why modelling is powerful: identity through Bandura’s social learning theory
✨ The role of play, role-play and shared roles (builder/leader/worker) in forming identity
✨ How collaborative and multimodal teaching supports mixed personalities
✨ The impact of narrative: why what children say about themselves matters
✨ Why routine isn’t only about predictability it’s about shared experience
✨ How routine and rhythm build group identity and belonging

Practical strategies for teachers:

• Using group work intentionally
• Restorative conversations
• Circles of Friends
• Guided role play
• Identity-safe classroom routines

This episode invites educators to reflect on:

How do we cultivate classrooms where differences aren’t just accommodated they’re celebrated?
Where every child feels part of something bigger, yet confidently themselves?

Because when children experience belonging, safety, acceptance and clarity, their identity can flourish and so can their learning.

Connect with Mike Lane

Website: https://www.ridgewaypsychology.co.uk/
LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/michael-lane-4304a3123

Connect with Me

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dradammcartney/
Website: https://www.dradammccartney.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.AdamMcCartney

In this episode of Between Two Psychs, Adam McCartney and Mike Lane take on one of the most debated areas in education: School Exclusions. Moving beyond headlines and assumptions, they explore what the data really shows, why so many young people reach crisis point, and crucially how schools can intervene earlier, more compassionately, and more effectively.

Drawing on casework, psychological models and years of school-based practice, Adam and Mike unpack how factors like identity, belonging, trust, developmental stage and social context intersect with behaviour and why the story of exclusions is rarely just about “poor choices.”

From the challenges of transition in Year 7 to the pressures of adolescence, resource limitations, and the complexities of trust and relationships in secondary settings, this conversation brings together data, humanity, and practical insight. It reminds us that when schools create predictable, relational, inclusive environments, young people are more able to engage, participate, and thrive.

In this episode, we discuss:

✨The data behind exclusions and what changed after 2014 and again post-pandemic

✨Why secondary pupils are far more likely to be excluded than primary pupils

✨ How identity development in adolescence can impact behaviour, belonging, and wellbeing

✨Why transitions and unpredictability can fuel anxiety, avoidance, and disruption

✨The role of acceptance, competency and peer approval in shaping behaviour

✨How social communication needs (e.g., autism, ADHD) interact with expectations in secondary school

✨Why exclusion is often linked to trust, self-worth, and unmet emotional needs

✨How socioeconomic factors and wider community contexts affect exclusion rates

✨The power of consistent relationships and predictability at Key Stage 3

✨Resource bases, alternative provision, and how schools can build relational practice even without specialist spaces

✨Practical approaches that help build connection and safety:

– Emotion coaching

– Motivational interviewing

– Pastoral investment

– Inquiry-based and cooperative learning

✨Why restorative conversations need training, time, and structure not just good intentions

✨How policies move from punitive to relational when they centre clarity, empathy, and shared responsibility

This episode invites teachers, leaders, and SEN professionals to reflect on:

How do we make school a place where students feel seen, safe, connected and competent?

When that foundation is secure, behaviour improves not because young people fear sanctions, but because they feel they belong.

Inclusion is not just about preventing exclusion it is about building environments where young people want to participate.

Connect with Mike Lane

Website: https://www.ridgewaypsychology.co.uk/

LinkedIn: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/michael-lane-4304a3123

Connect with Me

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dradammcartney/

Website: https://www.dradammccartney.com/

Youtube:https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.AdamMcCartney