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Beat Around The Bench Podcast

Beat Around The Bench Podcast

By: Colton Jess and Ross
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About this listen

This is a maker's Podcast about woodworking, good times and general Jack-Assery. The story of these three dates back to WorkBenchCon 2023 where they met and quickly became bestest friends. Since then, their trials and tribulations have been on display on this very Podcast. Jess hails from Tampa Bay, FL and has been a carpenter for over 15 years. (@Jess_BuildIt) Colton calls Houston, TX home. He makes custom cornhole boards (@ColtCrit) Ross comes from Chicago, IL. He makes custom furniture (@RandCDesigns) #woodworking #makers #furniture #carpentry #jackassery #goodtimes #woodworkColton, Jess and Ross
Episodes
  • Ep 121: Wu Teak Clan
    Oct 24 2025
    • Jess, Colton and Ross kick things off with a hilarious deep dive into their favorite food bowls, from Mexican rice bowls to Mediterranean cauliflower shawarma, proving that woodworkers know their way around both a workshop and a kitchen
    • The guys get real about plywood selection for cabinet making and why choosing the right material can make or break your project, especially when you're dealing with painted versus stained finishes

    • Colton shares his journey setting up a proper workshop space and the challenges of organizing tools when you're constantly moving between job sites and home projects

    • Big discussion about pocket holes versus traditional joinery methods for face frames, with the hosts weighing in on when to use each technique and why some old school woodworkers still give them grief

    • Ross drops a mind blowing story about getting quoted 140 thousand dollars for a covered pergola setup, which sparks a conversation about contractor pricing and DIY alternatives that could save you serious cash

    • The crew talks about undermount drawer slides and why they're game changers for cabinet projects once you figure out the installation process, with Jess explaining how he finally cracked the code

    • Practical advice on dealing with shop mistakes and burnout, including the golden rule of walking away when things start going sideways instead of pushing through and making it worse

    • Stories about garage renovations and the reality of balancing client work with personal shop projects when space and time are both limited

    • The boys discuss different cabinet construction methods and share tips on building quality pieces that will last, from proper drawer box assembly to choosing the right hardware

    • Colton breaks down his griddle cooking setup and how he's been perfecting potato bowls with smash burgers, because apparently these woodworkers are serious about their food game too

    • Real talk about the business side of woodworking including pricing projects, managing client expectations, and knowing when to walk away from deals that don't make sense

    • The episode wraps with the guys reflecting on staying motivated in the trade and remembering why they love woodworking even when projects get challenging or clients get difficult

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    2 hrs and 2 mins
  • Ep 120: Old Crow Meranti Show
    Oct 10 2025

    • Burger bonanza kicks off with Five Guys extra bacon recommendations competing against Kuma's Corner heavy metal burger joints serving half-pound pretzel bun creations named after metal bands while Goblin Cock burger combines Vienna beef hot dog toppings creating food comas lasting entire weekends

    • Guest introduction welcomes Justin Hobart from Ambrose Design whose woodworking journey began working maximum security prison sixteen-hour shifts before basement craftsman table saws launched ring-making operations using mini lathes and diamond inlays while spray foam insulation jobs provided sweaty Tyvek suit misery

    • Rapid-fire questions reveal cats dominate jerk animal rankings while horse-sized duck battles seem manageable compared to fifty duck-sized horses plus potato life goals involve finding Mrs. Potato Head and Taylor Swift karaoke requires ten drinks minimum before attempting

    • Prison code education teaches "12" means police presence somewhere nearby while Chicago terminology differs creating regional communication mysteries plus TED Talk expertise centers on inspecting cat buttholes demonstrating questionable presentation topics

    • Ross jewelry cabinet saga continues with drawer rail disasters requiring complete disassembly after forgotten lock channels plus moving blanket grease stains and blue fuzzies destroying fresh white paint forcing shop returns and customer negotiations for high-gloss lacquer upgrades

    • Benjamin Moore accent paint promises lacquer-like curing over two weeks requiring proper spray tip sizing switching from 313 to 210 nozzles preventing drip catastrophes while JC Licht paint store expertise saves projects from Home Depot bear cabinet enamel mediocrity

    • Undermount drawer glide advocacy intensifies as side-mount failures plague forty-inch wide drawers creating alignment nightmares while commercial cabinet companies embrace adjustable clips allowing seasonal wood movement without constant carpenter frustration

    • Construction progress includes Hardy siding installations over Tyvek weatherproofing plus PVC trim preventing Florida rot while custom door frame reconstruction requires super glue wood filler tricks repairing butchered hinge pockets creating professional results from disaster scenarios

    • Screwdriver history deep-dive explores Leonardo da Vinci's 1400s thread-cutting machine designs plus Henry Phillips 1936 cross-head patents revolutionizing Ford assembly lines while P.L. Robertson's superior square drive failed globally because licensing stubbornness lost to Phillips cooperation

    • Interactive trivia game starts contestants with thousand-dollar stakes bidding on fastener knowledge questions covering everything from coal tar synthetic dye origins to metric bolt 10.9 strength ratings representing thousand-megapascal tensile capacities with ninety-percent yield ratios

    • Metallurgy mysteries reveal grade-eight bolts display six radial lines on heads indicating 150,000 PSI tensile strength while 316 stainless steel provides marine-grade corrosion resistance and quenching-tempering processes harden steel through 1500-degree heating followed by rapid cooling

    • Final scores show Ross dominating at $2,450 while Justin maintains respectable $150 historical references separate winners from losers in fastener knowledge competition

    • Pricing wisdom shares material-plus-twenty-percent formulas plus triple-material-cost shortcuts for smaller projects while deposit requirements prevent sketch-drawing theft and hourly rates between fifty-to-sixty dollars cover garage operations versus commercial shop overhead demanding higher rates

    • Snuggets deliver Craftsman door jig warnings about useless router bits plus diamond plate sharpening stone recommendations for field chisel maintenance while elderly driver safety concerns prompt family discussions about retesting requirements protecting communities from intersection disasters


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    1 hr and 58 mins
  • Ep 119: Hootie & The Bubinga
    Sep 26 2025

    • Salad showdown opens with Greek salads loaded with gyro meat competing against Caesar dressing anchovy mysteries while coleslaw divides the group between vinegar-based Carolina styles and mayonnaise-heavy Southern versions plus jalapeño variations that actually work

    • New Patreon spotlight welcomes Greg Wally from Plat Valley Woodworks to the supporter family while Colton battles Centerpoint Energy over pole installations requiring five-foot holes through thick lake mud and mysterious wire connections nobody wants to hook up

    • Hurricane aftermath projects consume Jess with AC line covers running through townhouse garages after saltwater corroded underground Freon lines plus custom Kohler shower systems mixing titanium chrome parts from five different suppliers driving plumbers crazy

    • Window drama unfolds when six weeks of waiting produces privacy glass on every single opening instead of just the bathroom creating house-sized mistakes requiring complete reorders while drywall crews stand idle and patience runs thin

    • Ross hits emotional breaking point with jewelry cabinet drawer slides refusing cooperation after weeks of daily four-to-six-hour sessions leading to dovetail disasters when his father drops drawers creating expensive repairs requiring super glue and poplar reconstruction

    • Opera therapy emerges as Ross discovers "opera bangers" playlist providing mental escape during project meltdowns while discussing everyone's decompression strategies from food breaks to comedy podcasts plus the importance of stepping away when frustration peaks

    • New segment launch introduces "Oh Sh*t I Messed This Up" seeking listener submissions about construction fails and woodworking disasters illustrated by the legendary brick layer barrel rope story involving 240 pounds of bricks versus 180-pound worker creating compound injuries

    • Stain chemistry deep dive explores coal tar origins of synthetic dyes dating to 1800s plus Minwax founding in 1906 while covering pigments from iron oxides and ground-up cochineal insects living on prickly pear cacti producing vibrant reds

    • Wartime staining reveals tobacco extract usage during World War II pigment shortages plus turpentine's pine tree distillation before mineral spirits replaced faster-evaporating solvents while milk proteins provided primitive pre-stain conditioning

    • Professional finishing techniques distinguish between penetrating dyes reaching molecular levels versus pigment particles settling in wood pores plus factory toner applications between clear coats creating uniform coloring without grain hiding

    • Modern innovations showcase gel stains reducing blotchiness for beginners plus low-VOC water-based formulas requiring careful application speed while exterior stains add UV blockers and borate protection against insects and rot

    • Workshop wisdom includes always stirring settled pigments preventing color variations plus testing scraps with actual project sanding grits since 150-grit versus 220-grit dramatically affects penetration and final appearance

    • Snuggets deliver stress management through music therapy recommendations plus Colton's narrow escape from Angie's List year-long contracts costing thousands while Jess advocates S-corporation status and automated renewal reminders preventing costly compliance lapses

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    2 hrs and 4 mins
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