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You've been told your whole life that if you don't call someone out, you're letting them get away with it. But what if that's completely wrong and it's actually making things worse?

Most of us are exhausted from trying to change the people around us. Whether it's a frustrating family member, a difficult coworker, or a friend with completely different values, we pour energy into trying to fix people who never actually change. And somehow we end up feeling like the problem.

In this episode Sami and Angela unpack one of the most liberating ideas you'll ever hear in a relationship context: accepting someone is not the same as approving of them. You'll discover why calling people out rarely works, how to know the difference between someone being frustrating versus genuinely toxic, and how to stop carrying other people's "dog poop" around like it's yours to deal with. This conversation will completely reframe how you show up in even your most difficult relationships.

Key Takeaways

• Allowing someone to be who they are is not the same as condoning their behavior
• Calling people out feels satisfying but rarely leads to actual change
• There is a real difference between someone being frustrating and someone being genuinely toxic
• The grace you give others is usually a direct reflection of the grace you give yourself
• You cannot control other people's behavior, only how you respond to it

Stop white-knuckling relationships that are draining you. Hit play right now and find out why letting people be who they are might be the most powerful thing you can do for them and for yourself.

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Every time we go after something meaningful, a new goal, a big conversation, a leadership role, or personal growth, fear and resistance seem to show up right on cue.

In this episode, Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford explore why resistance is not a sign you are doing something wrong, but often a signal that you are getting close to something important.

Together, they unpack how fear shows up in the body, why resisting discomfort actually makes it stronger, and how learning to lean into sensations and emotions can help you move forward instead of staying stuck.

You will hear real coaching stories, personal experiences, and powerful metaphors that reframe resistance as part of the process, not the problem.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why fear and resistance show up when you are pursuing growth
• How your nervous system responds to goals, change, and risk
• The difference between discomfort and actual danger
• Why avoiding fear often makes it worse
• How resistance can be a sign you are close to a breakthrough
• Practical ways to stop fighting your feelings and move forward
• What it looks like to enter the cave instead of running from it

If you have ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, anxious, or frustrated by your own reactions when trying to grow, this conversation will help you see resistance in a completely new way and give you permission to keep going.

Order Traveling Light wherever you get your books!

Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.

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Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at podcast@bfreakingawesome.com.

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Ever walked into a networking event or professional gathering wondering if you're wearing the right thing, saying the right things, or even supposed to be there? You're not alone. In this episode, hosts Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford reveal a simple mental shift that can transform how you show up in any room—and it has nothing to do with what others think of you.

Angela introduces the powerful concept of "host energy vs guest energy" and explains why belonging isn't something others grant you—it's something you claim for yourself. Learn how shifting from waiting for validation to actively creating welcome can change not just how you feel, but how everyone around you experiences the space.

What You'll Learn

• The difference between "guest energy" (waiting for confirmation you belong) and "host energy" (owning your presence and welcoming others)
• Why belonging is a decision you make, not permission others give
• How abandonment issues can impact your sense of belonging
• Practical ways to make others feel included (even when you're uncertain yourself)
• The "empty chair philosophy" and other subtle gestures that create belonging
• When it's healthy to leave rooms where you no longer want to belong
• Why being the smartest person in the room might mean you're in the wrong room

Key Takeaways

• "I belong to me" - Angela's breakthrough realization that belonging starts with self-acceptance, not external validation
• The host energy shift - When you walk into any space focused on making others feel welcome, you automatically claim your own belonging
• Fake it till you make it (sort of) - Even if you're uncertain about your own belonging, affirming others' belonging creates a positive feedback loop
• Small gestures matter - From making space in circles to always having an empty chair, little acts of inclusion compound
• Choose your rooms wisely - You get to decide which spaces align with who you want to be, and it's okay to consciously leave communities that no longer serve you

Resources Mentioned

• Traveling Light - Angela's program featuring the seven core beliefs, including belonging
• Belief Assessment - Tool used in Angela and Sami's executive coaching
• Bob Goff's Writers Conference - Example of host energy in action
• Gallup StrengthsFinder - Assessment that identified Sami's "inclusion" strength

About the Hosts
Sami Kinnison naturally scores high on belonging and has "inclusion" as one of her top Gallup strengths. She's passionate about making sure everyone has space in the circle.

Angela Belford has deeply studied belonging through the lens of abandonment and teaches the seven core beliefs in her Traveling Light program and executive coaching practice.

Order Traveling Light wherever you get your books!

Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.

Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.

Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at podcast@bfreakingawesome.com.