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Attachment-Focused EMDR with Deb Wesselmann: Children, Families & Trauma Recovery

Attachment-Focused EMDR with Deb Wesselmann: Children, Families & Trauma Recovery

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 In this episode of Notice That: An EMDR Podcast, we sit down with internationally respected clinician, trainer, and author Deb Wesselmann to explore the powerful intersection of EMDR therapy, attachment wounds, childhood trauma, parenting, and relational healing.Deb shares her decades of experience integrating attachment theory with EMDR therapy, including practical ways therapists can work with children, parents, families, and adults carrying unresolved developmental trauma.We discuss:Why attachment trauma often lives beneath symptomsHow EMDR can help heal early relational woundsWorking with children using EMDRFamily therapy + EMDR integrationResourcing trust, safety, and connectionParents as part of the healing processParts work / ego states in EMDRHow therapists become corrective emotional experiencesWhy the therapeutic relationship still matters deeply in trauma workDeb also shares stories from training with Francine Shapiro in the early days of EMDR and how the field has evolved over time.If you're an EMDR therapist, trauma therapist, counselor, psychologist, or simply fascinated by healing relationships, this conversation is packed with wisdom.Learn more about Deb Wesselmann through her website: https://debrawesselmann.com/Learn more about training and professional development opportunities with Beyond Healing through our website: connectbeyondhealing.comDETAILED SHOW NOTESIntroductionBridger and Jen open the episode by discussing their upcoming EMDR Basic Trainings, hybrid learning model, consultation opportunities, and their emphasis on relationship-centered EMDR training.Meet Deb WesselmannDeb shares her background as:Former school teacherTherapist for 35+ yearsEMDR clinician since the mid-1990sCo-founder of the Attachment and Trauma Center in NebraskaLongtime specialist in attachment, trauma, adoption, children, and family healingHer journey into therapy began through witnessing the unmet emotional needs of children in school settings.Early EMDR with Francine ShapiroDeb reflects on training directly with Francine Shapiro when EMDR was still considered “experimental.”She discusses:Why she was initially skepticalHer powerful practicum experienceHow EMDR differed from hypnosisWhy EMDR felt safer, gentler, and more effective for trauma treatmentWhy Attachment and EMDR Fit So WellDeb explains how EMDR naturally supports attachment healing because it helps process:mistrustabandonment woundsrelational fearunresolved griefabuse memoriesdevelopmental traumaShe emphasizes that attachment styles are shaped through experience—not fixed identity.What Didn’t Happen Matters TooOne of the most powerful moments of the episode:Healing is not only about processing what happened to clients...It is also about grieving and repairing what never happened:protectionsoothingattunementnurturesafetyemotional co-regulationParts Work / Ego States in EMDRDeb and the hosts discuss:ego statesparts languagemultiplicity of selfinternalized child partswounded protector partsThey explore how parts work deepens EMDR treatment, especially with complex trauma.Deb’s Integrative Family EMDR ModelDeb outlines her step-by-step model for working with children and families:Phase 1:Parent psychoeducation and case conceptualizationHelping parents understand:“This is not a bad child.”“This is a wounded child in survival mode.”Phase 2:Family preparation and regulation workIncluding:body regulation exerciseswindow of tolerance educationplayful nervous system workemotional literacyPhase 3:Attachment-focused EMDR resourcingExamples:parent-child connection exercisesmessages of lovesoothing touchbilateral stimulation paired with relational safetyhealing the “little one inside”When Parents Are the BarrierDeb speaks honestly about difficult cases where caregivers are emotionally unsafe, resistant, or abusive.The hosts discuss how therapists may need to pivot toward:supporting the child directlygrief workcoping strategiesbecoming a safe relational templateThe Therapist as Attachment ResourceA major theme of the conversation:The therapeutic relationship itself becomes healing data.Bridger discusses inviting clients to:“Take my voice with you.”Meaning:internalize compassionremember safetyborrow regulationcarry supportive relational memory into distressThis is a beautiful section for therapists working with complex trauma.Why This Episode MattersThis conversation reminds us that EMDR is not merely protocol.It is also:relationaldevelopmentalembodiedattachment-informeddeeply humanSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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