Ask Two People This Question To Find Your Real Values — with John Durso
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Summary
Leadership consultant John Durso shares a deceptively simple exercise that reveals what your values actually are — not the ones on your website.
Most leaders can't actually name their real values. They list the words on their website — honesty, integrity, loyalty — and call it a day. John Durso says those aren't values. They're table stakes.
In this episode, John walks Matt through a deceptively simple exercise that reveals what your values actually are: ask one or two people who know you well to describe you in one word, then ask them to tell a story that backs it up. What comes back is rarely what you'd predict.
John's wife described him as "unstoppable." Matt's two people landed on "charisma" and "generous." And the magic of the exercise isn't just learning what others see in you — it's that the word they choose tells you what they value most, which is critical leadership intel.
John spent over 22 years in retail banking working with hundreds of small businesses and nonprofits across the greater Philadelphia region. Today he runs Brilliant Business Strategies, helping community banks, credit unions, nonprofits, and small businesses build stronger leadership, healthier cultures, and better team performance.
In this conversation:
- Why "honesty" and "integrity" don't count as real values
- The one-word exercise — and why the story matters more than the word
- How perception becomes reality inside your company
- What Disney's Winnie the Pooh casting reveals about hiring for values
- How a new leader can use this exercise in their first 30 days
If you're a founder or CEO stepping into a bigger role — whether that's a hypergrowth season, a succession moment, or a move into thought leadership — this is foundational work. The kind serious leaders do at the start and return to when things get complicated.
CONNECT WITH JOHN DURSO
Website: brilliantbusinessstrategies.com
LinkedIn: search "John Durso Brilliant Business Strategies"
CONNECT WITH MATT STONE & THE BIGGER STAGE
The Bigger Stage helps founder-CEOs make the operator-to-icon transition.
Website: thebiggerstage.com
LinkedIn: search "Matt Stone Bigger Stage"
Subscribe wherever you listen for more conversations with leaders stepping onto bigger stages.