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What if your child isn’t “difficult” — just wired differently?

In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jessie Stern, assistant professor of psychology at Pomona College and co-author of Beyond Difficult, to break down what attachment theory really means, how child temperament works, and why so much parenting advice oversimplifies complex human behavior.

We talk about secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles — what they are, what they aren’t, and why they’re not permanent labels. Dr. Stern explains how attachment forms through early relationships, how it can change over time, and why attachment styles are adaptive strategies, not diagnoses.

We also explore why children are often born with distinct temperaments, including sensitivity and emotional reactivity, and how parents can respond without shame or self-blame. This conversation is especially helpful for parents raising highly sensitive kids or navigating emotional regulation when both parent and child are overwhelmed.

This episode covers:

• The science behind attachment theory and parenting
• Why temperament is largely innate — and how environment shapes outcomes
• Emotional regulation strategies for parents and kids
• The neuroscience of “mom brain” and parenthood
• Why attachment parenting trends don’t always reflect attachment research
• How community and support impact parenting and mental health

A must-listen for parents, caregivers, educators, and anyone interested in child development, attachment, and evidence-based parenting.

We hope you enjoy the episode!

Guest: Dr. Jessie Stern, PhD
Assistant Professor of Psychology, Pomona College
Co-author of Beyond Difficult: An Attachment-Based Guide to Dealing with Challenging People
Instagram: @drjessiestern | @australianpsychologist

Topics Covered:

• Attachment theory explained (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized)
• Nature vs. nurture in child behavior
• Sensitive children and emotional regulation
• Parenting without shame or labels
• Brain changes in parenthood
• Why community matters more than perfection

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