"Living with openness isn’t easy, but it’s the only way I feel truly connected."

In this intimate, firelit conversation recorded in the oak woodlands of Mendocino, I sit down with someone who has long felt like a little sister to me - Alyson. We’ve shared many chapters over the years, from our time living and working in Nepal to weaving our own creative paths through life. What we spoke about in 2023 still holds weight today, perhaps even more so in this ever-accelerating world.

Together, we unpack themes of identity, ego, creativity, and care. Alyson reflects on growing up Filipino-American in San Jose, California, finding healing through gardening and natural dyeing, and wrestling with the writer’s journey - the guilt, the fixation, the fear. We talk candidly about the shadow side of service, and the ever-present tug between doing what we love and doing what we think will make us lovable.

This episode is a heartfelt tribute to the cycles we move through - in art, in life, in healing. It's a timestamp of where we were, and a torchlight for the path still unfolding.

Connect with Alyson on Instagram: @alysonnoele (instagram.com/alysonnoele/)

Supporter-exclusive video version of this podcast: https://patreon.com/posts/wilderness-ww-07-135769600

Wilderness Within (WW) is an exploration of inner worlds through shared stories and lived experiences with changemakers and visionaries whom I get to call friends. The project was birthed out of the realisation of radical it is to have such inspirational people in my life, and the interest to dive beyond the superficial and into the depths of one's devotions and motivations in life. Each episode is intended to be an open share and celebration of the triumphs, failures, learnings, and vulnerabilities of these wonderful humans and myself, Kai J. Lee.

Follow and engage with this journey http://wildernesswithinpod.com/ | @wildernesswithinpod

WW is possible due to the ongoing financial and spiritual support of patreon supporters (https://patreon.com/subtledream) and fans like yourselves - engaging with me and sharing the episodes with others.

Special thanks to Scott Hanson & Carlos Militante for the WW soundtrack and logo. Gratitude to so many past & present patrons - in making this dream come true!