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3. That's Not Love

3. That's Not Love

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In this episode, I’m digging into something that’s been showing up not just in my own life, but in the lives of clients, friends, and so many of us trying to live and lead with love. Today we’re talking about what separates us from our truest selves—and what it takes to return.


I walk through the Cycle of Socialization, a framework from educator Roberta “Bobby” Harro that opened my eyes to how we’re conditioned over time to move away from who we really are. And I don’t just mean society at large—I mean within our own bodies, thoughts, and behaviors.


We’re talking:

  • How our earliest environments shape who we think we should be
  • Why compliance, control, and criticism are not love (no matter how pretty we package them)
  • How trauma isn’t just what happened—it’s what happens inside us
  • The danger of invalidating your own (or someone else’s) pain
  • And the power of practicing love without force, without shame, and without rigid demands

This episode is especially for those of us leading in our communities, our families, and our work. If we want to love and lead others well, we have to get honest about how we treat ourselves—and where that treatment comes from.


Before you move on to the next thing in your day, I invite you to reflect:


Where in your life are you operating from control, conditioning, or unhealed trauma?


And just as important:


What might it look like to meet yourself with love instead?

Because love doesn’t demand perfection—it invites connection.


And that starts within.

Thanks for being here with me. I’ll see you in the next one.



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