28 | Defiant Behavior or Dysregulated Hearts? Why Emotional Regulation Comes Before Connection cover art

28 | Defiant Behavior or Dysregulated Hearts? Why Emotional Regulation Comes Before Connection

28 | Defiant Behavior or Dysregulated Hearts? Why Emotional Regulation Comes Before Connection

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 Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 3% of Podcasts Worldwide! Mama, • Do you ever walk away from your child thinking, “I made it worse,” and wonder why connection feels so hard? • Have you tried everything discipline charts, calm voices, new routines only to find your strong-willed or neurodivergent child still melting down? • Does your child’s defiant behavior leave you questioning your parenting, your patience, and sometimes even your faith? • Wish you could stay calm in the chaos instead of feeling dysregulated right alongside them? In this episode, we’re talking about one of the biggest mindset shifts in parenting a strong-willed or neurodivergent child...understanding that emotional regulation comes before connection. When meltdowns happen, it’s easy to see only the behavior the yelling, the refusal, the defiance. But underneath those moments is a dysregulated nervous system that’s asking for safety, not punishment. Together, we’ll unpack how your calm presence can transform those chaotic interactions into opportunities for healing and peace. You’ll learn why defiant behavior is often a sign of dysregulation, how your body and your child’s body communicate long before words, and practical faith-anchored ways to rebuild safety, emotional regulation, and genuine connection in your home. Whether your child struggles with ADHD, ODD, PDA, or ASD, this episode will help you parent from peace instead of pressure no more walking on eggshells, just steady grace and grounded faith. By the end, you’ll see that it’s not about fixing every meltdown; it’s about becoming the calm your child’s heart needs to find its way back to you. Faith Anchor “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:7 (NIV) Even in moments of defiance or emotional chaos, His peace is what steadies you. As you anchor in Him, your presence becomes the safe place where connection begins again. Challenge of the Week: When tension rises, take one deep breath before you speak. Pray: “Father, help me anchor in Your peace before I reach for connection.” Let that pause become your bridge from dysregulation to calm, from reactivity to grace. Special Invitation: If this episode resonated if you’ve been longing for connection but just haven’t known how to get there then I want to invite you to something that’s going to help you take that first gentle step. There was a season when I felt like every day at home was another test I was failing. No matter how much I prayed or tried to stay calm, the meltdowns kept coming, and the connection I longed for felt like it was slipping through my fingers. And maybe for you, connection doesn’t even feel like something you want right now. Maybe you’re just praying for a peaceful day or a moment where no one’s yelling, crying, or shutting down. If that’s where you are, I see you. You’re not doing anything wrong for wanting calm before connection. It’s okay to admit that your heart feels tired. It’s okay if you need space to breathe before you can reach back out. That’s the heartbeat behind my Rebuild Connection with your Strong-Willed or Neurodivergent Child Workshop. Because rebuilding peace isn’t about forcing closeness it’s about helping you feel safe and steady again so connection becomes possible. You don’t have to fix everything; you just have to take one gentle step toward peace. If this message speaks to your heart and you’re ready to begin rebuilding peace and connection in your home, I’d love for you to join me for the Rebuild Connection Workshop on February 10th at 7pm Central, where we’ll walk together through simple, faith-filled ways to respond with calm, restore peace, and rebuild connection with your strong-willed or neurodivergent child. You can save your spot today at www.amandacalfee.com/workshop I’d love for you to be there. Links & Resources • Join the Insiders List → https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list • Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/ • Email → amanda@amandacalfee.com • Facebook Group → https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas • Essential Oils → Young Living Wishlist Disclaimer I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional. The information shared in this podcast, my coaching, and any Young Living recommendations are for educational and faith-based encouragement only. Nothing shared is intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any physical or mental health condition. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed therapist for concerns regarding your or your child’s health, emotions, or well-being.
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