A friend makes a ridiculous plan to wake up at 6 a.m., a quick “don’t even think about it,”and a clear explanation of “this is why” — today’s episode is full of real, everyday reactions in Chinese.

昨天我朋友突然给我发消息，说：Zuótiān wǒ péngyou tūrán gěi wǒ fā xiāoxi, shuō:Yesterday my friend suddenly sent me a message and said:

“我想明天六点起床去跑步。”“Wǒ xiǎng míngtiān liù diǎn qǐchuáng qù pǎobù.”“I want to wake up at 6 a.m. tomorrow to run.”

我一看手机，心里想：Wǒ yí kàn shǒujī, xīnlǐ xiǎng:I looked at my phone and thought:

“你每天九点才起床，
想都别想六点能起来。”“Nǐ měitiān jiǔ diǎn cái qǐchuáng,
xiǎng dōu bié xiǎng liù diǎn néng qǐlái.”“You wake up at 9 every day —
don’t even think about getting up at 6.”

结果第二天，他真的没起来。Jiéguǒ dì èr tiān, tā zhēn de méi qǐlái.And as expected, he didn’t wake up.

他跟我说：“我六点的闹钟响了，
Tā gēn wǒ shuō: “Wǒ liù diǎn de nàozhōng xiǎng le,

He told me, “My 6 a.m. alarm rang,

但我一点儿都不想动，太困了！”dàn wǒ yìdiǎnr dōu bù xiǎng dòng, tài kùn le!”but I didn’t want to move at all — I was too sleepy!”

然后他又说：Ránhòu tā yòu shuō:Then he added:

“不过我昨天说的话也太离谱了吧？”“Búguò wǒ zuótiān shuō de huà yě tài lípǔ le ba?”“But honestly, what I said yesterday was way too ridiculous, right?”

我笑着回答：Wǒ xiàozhe huídá:I laughed and said:

“对，这就是为什么我一开始就觉得你起不来的。”“Duì, zhè jiù shì wèi shénme wǒ yì kāishǐ jiù juéde nǐ qǐ bù lái de.”“Yes — that’s why I knew from the beginning you wouldn’t get up.”

• 这就是为什么 — This is why

• 想都别想 — Don’t even think about it

• 离谱 — Ridiculous / Absurd