✨ “Where should I start?”
That’s how this episode begins — and maybe that’s exactly the point. Because sometimes, the end of a story forces us back to its beginning.

I’m Jana S. Rot — the Kolumnenrebellin, and in this episode of Lifestories Unlocked, I share something I’ve never said out loud like this before:
I ended my 16-year marriage over the one thing I wanted most — to finally become a mother.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamed of my own family. Three kids. Maybe twins. Because my best friends in kindergarten were twins. Because I’m a Gemini and have always felt split in two. Because I wanted to give the love I’ve been carrying inside me for decades.

And yet, at 38, I found myself sitting across from my husband — the man whose adult daughter I raised as my own — hearing him say:

“I just don’t want kids anymore.”

That moment shattered me.
It also revealed truths I had long ignored about myself, my family, and what “home” really means.

In this episode, you’ll hear not just about heartbreak, but about the quiet rebellions we all wage:
✨ The conditions we meet for others, hoping they’ll meet us halfway.
✨ The invisible parenting we do, even without the title “mom.”
✨ The courage it takes to start over, when starting over wasn’t in the plan.

I’ll tell you about the therapist my family “recommended” to me — the woman who told me, gently but firmly, “Start at the beginning.”
About how my younger sister became a mother before me — twice.
And about the big house with the pool, the sushi dinners, and the labels my family gave me (“career-obsessed,” “not maternal”) — none of which were true.

This is not just my story. It’s a story for anyone who has ever felt like the “other one.”
For everyone who has done everything “right” — and still found themselves alone with a dream they can’t let go.

💜 Why listen?
Because inside my personal chaos, you might recognize your own.
Because hearing one woman’s story can spark your own clarity, courage, or rebellion.
Because you’re not alone.

✨ Aha moment from this episode:
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn’t to hold on tighter — it’s to walk away and start at the beginning.

✨ Lifehack:
When you feel lost, don’t jump to the “what now.” Sit with the “where did this start” — it’s where your truth lives.

📬 Prefer reading? You’ll find my full columns at medium@kolumnenrebellin.de