07: You’re Not Stuck, You’re Loyal to an Old Identity cover art

07: You’re Not Stuck, You’re Loyal to an Old Identity

07: You’re Not Stuck, You’re Loyal to an Old Identity

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Have you ever wondered why, even after doing so much inner work, the same patterns keep showing up? Why insight alone doesn’t seem to set you free?

In this episode of Banish the Lies, Tania explores the idea that what we often call “being stuck” may actually be loyalty, loyalty to an old identity that once helped us feel safe, accepted, or worthy. She unpacks how identities formed around achievement, caretaking, pleasing, or staying invisible can quietly continue running the show, even when we consciously want something different.

Tania shares how these identities often begin as protection, why they don’t simply disappear because we’ve gained awareness, and how growth can feel unsettling when it threatens the version of ourselves we’ve relied on for belonging. She reflects on the tension between striving and trusting, control and openness, and what it means to move from conditional worth toward wholeness.

This episode is an invitation to stop interpreting familiar patterns as failure and start seeing them as information, signals that the identity that got you here may not be able to lead you forward. If you’ve been exhausted by pushing, proving, or performing, this conversation offers relief, clarity, and a gentler way to meet what’s next.

Journal prompts from this episode

  • What belief about my worth might still be operating quietly in the background?
  • Where in my life do I feel like I’m striving instead of trusting?
  • Who am I being loyal to when I stay in this pattern?
  • What might the next version of me value more than approval or certainty?
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