Episode Big Idea

Remembering names isn’t a memory issue — it’s a focus issue.

The Real Reasons We Forget Names

1. The Excuse: “I’m Bad With Names”

• Why saying this wires your brain not to try
• What that excuse silently communicates to the other person
• Why it sounds like you don’t care (even if you do)
• Reframing memory as trained vs. untrained

2. We’re Not Ready to Receive the Name

• What your brain is actually focused on during introductions
• Why names “fly past us” before we’re mentally ready
• The importance of mental availability in the first moments of connection

3. We’re Focused on What We’ll Say Next

• Why trying to be impressive sabotages connection
• Kevin Horsley’s insight: “People don’t hear names because they’re trying to be interesting instead of interested.”
• The truth: forgetting isn’t about memory — it’s about misplaced focus

Why Remembering Names Matters More Than You Think

• Research from The Elite Business Connector book:
  • 75% say remembering names is a high priority
  • Nearly 75% admit they forget names quickly
  • Only 36% consistently remember names
• What remembering someone’s name silently communicates:
  1. You care about them
  2. You pay attention to details
  3. You’re actually listening

How to Nail the Name Every Time

1. Control the Timing

• Why you shouldn’t lead with names
• Using the 1st 5 Minutes framework:
  • Read the Room
  • Begin the Banter
  • THEN exchange names
• Why sequence matters for retention

2. Be Ready

• Making the micro-decision that names matter
• Preparing your focus before the name is said

3. Use the “Three-Peat” Method

• Say the name three times:
  • Beginning: confirmation
  • Middle: reinforcement
  • End: lock-in

Five Name-Remembering Hacks That Actually Work

1. Ask About the Preferred Name

• James vs. Jim, Elizabeth vs. Beth, David vs. Dave
• Why preference matters more than correctness
• How ignoring it costs instant credibility

2. Get the Spelling

• Why spelling creates memory anchors
• “Bryan with a Y” and the power of playful repetition
• Unique spellings = instant connection points

3. Get the Backstory

• Why stories make names sticky
• One simple question that unlocks memorability

4. Unique Names

• How name curiosity creates unexpected moments of impact
• Why both people walk away feeling better

5. Last Names (and How to Use Them)

• Asking about ethnicity and family origin
• Alliteration and shared initials
• Leveraging last names to reinforce first names
• Humor as a memory enhancer

6. Tough or Foreign Names

• Why effort beats perfection
• How trying earns instant respect

Buy the 1st 5 Minutes Book:

• 1st 5 Minutes Book

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